Your Bad Behaviour Is NOT My Responsibility  

sexyldy1000 61F  
10447 posts
7/11/2021 12:26 pm
Your Bad Behaviour Is NOT My Responsibility




The phrase “Am I my brother’s keeper?” occurs in the context of the story of Cain and Abel in Genesis. The brothers made sacrifices to God, but God favoured Abel's sacrifice instead of Cain's. Cain then murdered Abel, out of jealousy. And the Lord said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?” And he said, "I do not know: am I my brother's keeper?"

Growing up, I was the youngest, with two older brothers; there was less than four years difference in our ages.

The eldest was considered the conservative one who “toed the line.” The other one loved to push boundaries and was more the daredevil.

Occasionally, they would get into scrapes. The eldest would challenge the other one to some outrageous dare. When things went awry, and they got caught, the eldest would exclaim insistently, “It’s not my fault he did it.”

A friend and I have had numerous disagreements on this subject. Of course, I would intervene if I was with him and he was about to put himself or others in harm’s way. I have done the same with strangers. For example, warning someone about to step out into oncoming traffic.

But I can’t stop him from blurting out the first that comes into his head or to ensure he re-reads his email, text or comments before pressing Enter.

I have often reminded him that:
Actions have consequences.
Spoken words cannot be unheard.
Written words cannot be un-seen.




sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/11/2021 12:28 pm

Do you feel responsible for other people’s misdeeds and poor choices?


Tmptrzz 59F  
106083 posts
7/11/2021 12:37 pm

So true someone else's bad behavior is definitely not our fault. Sounds like your brothers had an interesting childhood. And I bet they protected their little sister too..

I hope your enjoying a peaceful Sunday..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


pocogato12 69F  
37175 posts
7/11/2021 2:49 pm

I completely agree we are not responsible for actions of others. I am sad to say I think I have lost a good friend because she said something in writing that would have been better off in a verbal discussion. What happens now if up to her because I AM responsible for what I do
Thanks for sharing this- we all can learn from it

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


redrockrascal 63M
23512 posts
7/11/2021 5:53 pm

    Quoting sexyldy1000:
    Do you feel responsible for other people’s misdeeds and poor choices?

Not in any way

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


LadiesR2B1rst 58M  
2312 posts
7/11/2021 6:04 pm

I think whether we like it or not someone will notice a little act of kindness or something we do. It may be family or friends or even a complete stranger . Sometimes it's years later before they even mention something you have done . Nice topic. And Thanks for Posting it.


resant78 43M  
3320 posts
7/11/2021 8:37 pm

Do you feel responsible for other people’s misdeeds and poor choices?

For the most part no. I feel people (especially myself) learn from making mistakes.


spunkycumfun 61M/66F  
40478 posts
7/12/2021 2:48 am

I would only feel responsible if I advised someone to behave that way, but I'm generally careful how I frame my advice as it has to be their choice.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/12/2021 3:44 am

Stimulate my mind and let’s see what happens 😊
Your Bad Behaviour Is NOT My Responsibility


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/12/2021 5:38 am

Stimulate my mind and let’s see what happens 😊
Your Bad Behaviour Is NOT My Responsibility


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/12/2021 7:57 am

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    So true someone else's bad behavior is definitely not our fault. Sounds like your brothers had an interesting childhood. And I bet they protected their little sister too..

    I hope your enjoying a peaceful Sunday..
I knew you would understand my point about other people's 'bad behaviour'.
My brothers were less than 2 years apart but couldn't be more different in personality.
We continue to have a mix of weather with rain forecast almost every day this week. Hope today sets your week off to a great start.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/12/2021 7:59 am

    Quoting pocogato12:
    I completely agree we are not responsible for actions of others. I am sad to say I think I have lost a good friend because she said something in writing that would have been better off in a verbal discussion. What happens now if up to her because I AM responsible for what I do
    Thanks for sharing this- we all can learn from it
It's always difficult when people put things in writing that would be better handled in person or at least over the phone. Hopefully, things will get resolved between you and your friend. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your perspective.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/12/2021 8:01 am

Then we agree . I used to tell my kids, once they left the house, it was up to them to choose how to behave. I could only wish that it would align with what I had tried to instill in them.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/12/2021 8:02 am

    Quoting LadiesR2B1rst:
    I think whether we like it or not someone will notice a little act of kindness or something we do. It may be family or friends or even a complete stranger . Sometimes it's years later before they even mention something you have done . Nice topic. And Thanks for Posting it.
A lot of people have very long memories. My Mother used to say she could forgive but not forget. Thanks for dropping by and sharing your perspective.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/12/2021 8:04 am

    Quoting resant78:
    Do you feel responsible for other people’s misdeeds and poor choices?

    For the most part no. I feel people (especially myself) learn from making mistakes.
We hope others from their mistakes. Unfortunately, I have known some who never seem to.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/12/2021 8:07 am

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    I would only feel responsible if I advised someone to behave that way, but I'm generally careful how I frame my advice as it has to be their choice.
I agree. If someone acted on my specific advice and things went awry, I would feel a certain level of responsibility. Framing advice so that other's think it was their is a wise approach.


MrRareity 62M  
4561 posts
7/12/2021 10:58 pm

I agree with you completely if I gave someone advice and things didn't turn out well I will feel bad but I only gave them advice what they do with that is their choice.

We have two lives, and the second begins when we realise we have only one - Confucious


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/13/2021 3:23 am

    Quoting MrRareity:
    I agree with you completely if I gave someone advice and things didn't turn out well I will feel bad but I only gave them advice what they do with that is their choice.
Feeling a sense of responsibility for the outcome someone else experiences from your advice can be tricky. We feel good when there’s a positive outcome and quite differently if there’s a negative one. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.


justskin1 70M
13023 posts
7/19/2021 9:25 pm

I am only responsible for their behavior if I try to provoke it and then only partly so. Their behavior can only be decided by them.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
7/20/2021 12:42 am

    Quoting justskin1:
    I am only responsible for their behavior if I try to provoke it and then only partly so. Their behavior can only be decided by them.
I agree. Each person is and should be responsible for their own behaviour. Thanks for dropping by.


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