Gaslighting Is Real  

sexyldy1000 61F  
10447 posts
3/5/2021 12:53 pm
Gaslighting Is Real



Gaslighting has become a popular term more recently, with increased online usage. I knew I had heard it but really didn’t know what it meant so decided t.o research it’s origin and definition.

The word originated from a “1938” p.l.a.y by the British dramatist Patrick Hamilton which was subsequently made into a popular movie in “1944” Throughout the film, a husband pushes his wife t.o question her own sanity by making her think she’s having delusions, so he can commit her t.o a mental institution and steal her inheritance. He secretly dims and brightens the gaslights in the house and makes strange noises at night, and when she brings it up, he tells her it’s all in her head.

Intimate relationships are probably where gaslighting occurs most often, but it can also occur in other relationships, such as work environments and in family dynamics. Where gaslighting is successful, usually involves some sort of control or influence that the perpetrator has over the victim.

While gaslighting often targets individual victims, i.t can also be implemented on a much larger scale, as a method of political control. By pushing a narrative with such a strong sense of conviction, that people will believe it. It takes lying t.o a new level by completely redrawing reality, instead of just covering something up. They say it as if they believe it and in a way that everyone around them believes it

Similar t.o other forms of psychological abuse, those more susceptible t.o gaslighting are often those in vulnerable positions. The American Sociology Association states that gaslighting is rooted in social inequalities, such as race, gender and sexuality.

T.h.e.r.e are some signs that can indicate someone is being the victim of gaslighting in their relationship. If someone is always speaking in a self-deprecating way or putting themselves down, they could be echoing the words of their gaslighter. They may not even realize this until someone else points that they’re being overly critical of themselves. It can help t.o ask someone that is always harsh on themselves why they feel that way, t.o help them determine if those are really their thoughts or the thoughts of someone else.

Over time, gaslighting can seriously damage your sense of identity. Seek professional help when necessary.

The most important thing t.o remember is that you are not the issue. If you’re being gaslit, it’s not a reflection of you. It really is about the abuser and their need for power and control.




sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 1:27 pm

In 2018, Oxford Dictionaries announced that “gaslighting” was one of the most popular words of the year.


Tmptrzz 59F  
106087 posts
3/5/2021 1:59 pm

You know the term "Gaslighting" really does fit here especially lately I have heard about this before, and it didn't come to mind for me really until you shared it here.

I hope your evening is a relaxing one..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


easyrider4008 65M
2535 posts
3/5/2021 2:22 pm

Wow


Bourre2020 58M

3/5/2021 2:56 pm

It's used a fair bit by some scamangelical pastors to not only control their followers but also teach them how to use it against critics.


ltrskr 73M  
5132 posts
3/5/2021 3:03 pm

In Corporate Biz, they call it sales! lol!


redrockrascal 63M
23512 posts
3/5/2021 3:04 pm

One way to avoid being gaslit online is to understand that the person doing it to you most likely does not know much about you. Most of us are complete strangers and should take peoples words with a grain of salt.

The same would apply to those who get into petty little pissing contests here.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


ltrskr 73M  
5132 posts
3/5/2021 3:09 pm

Brought this old song to mind by the Browns

He made the night a little brighter
Wherever he would go
The old lamplighter
Of long, long ago
His snowy hair was so much whiter
Beneath the candle glow
The old lamplighter
Of long, long ago
You'd hear the patter of his feet
As he came toddling down the street
His smile would had a lonely heart you see
If there were sweethearts in the park
He'd pass a lamp and leave it dark
Remembering the days that used to be
For he recalls when things were new
He loved someone who loved him too
Who walks with him alone in memories
He made the night a little brighter
Wherever he would go
The old lamplighter
Of long, long ago
Now if you look up in the sky
You'll understand the reason why
The little stars at night are all aglow
He turns them on when night is here
He turns them off when dawn is near
The little man we left of long ago
He made the night a little brighter
Wherever he would go
The old lamplighter of long, long ago

Songwriters: N. Simon / C. Tobias


SingleInGR 54M
360 posts
3/5/2021 3:28 pm

Interesting post, I did not know that, Thank You for helping me learn something new today.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 6:16 pm

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    You know the term "Gaslighting" really does fit here especially lately I have heard about this before, and it didn't come to mind for me really until you shared it here.

    I hope your evening is a relaxing one..
I think when people understand what it means, they start to think of specific examples of where it's been used. Online is just one instance where it occurs.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 6:16 pm

Care to explain what you mean?


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 6:18 pm

    Quoting Bourre2020:
    It's used a fair bit by some scamangelical pastors to not only control their followers but also teach them how to use it against critics.
I hadn't thought of the example you gave but I understand how it can be applicable.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 6:19 pm

    Quoting ltrskr:
    In Corporate Biz, they call it sales! lol!
Gee, I hope not!


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 6:23 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    One way to avoid being gaslit online is to understand that the person doing it to you most likely does not know much about you. Most of us are complete strangers and should take peoples words with a grain of salt.

    The same would apply to those who get into petty little pissing contests here.
Often, those who do the gaslighting have a perceived sense of power and are trying to exploit what they see as a weakness.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 6:29 pm

    Quoting ltrskr:
    Brought this old song to mind by the Browns

    He made the night a little brighter
    Wherever he would go
    The old lamplighter
    Of long, long ago
    His snowy hair was so much whiter
    Beneath the candle glow
    The old lamplighter
    Of long, long ago
    You'd hear the patter of his feet
    As he came toddling down the street
    His smile would had a lonely heart you see
    If there were sweethearts in the park
    He'd pass a lamp and leave it dark
    Remembering the days that used to be
    For he recalls when things were new
    He loved someone who loved him too
    Who walks with him alone in memories
    He made the night a little brighter
    Wherever he would go
    The old lamplighter
    Of long, long ago
    Now if you look up in the sky
    You'll understand the reason why
    The little stars at night are all aglow
    He turns them on when night is here
    He turns them off when dawn is near
    The little man we left of long ago
    He made the night a little brighter
    Wherever he would go
    The old lamplighter of long, long ago

    Songwriters: N. Simon / C. Tobias
I had not heard that song before. It prompted me to look up the definition of lamplighter and found this: A lamplighter is a person employed to light and maintain candle or, later, gas street lights. Very few exist today as most gas street lighting has long been replaced by electric lamps.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 6:31 pm

    Quoting SingleInGR:
    Interesting post, I did not know that, Thank You for helping me learn something new today.


I enjoy researching topics I am unfamiliar with and sharing them here. Thanks for stopping by.


positively4you 72F  
4570 posts
3/5/2021 8:24 pm

In America we call it government.


easyrider4008 65M
2535 posts
3/5/2021 8:27 pm

I mean wow that is how the politicians seem to be doing it and I think it started with Mussolini.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 8:50 pm

Yes, I read how it was used to describe your former president.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/5/2021 9:00 pm

    Quoting easyrider4008:
    I mean wow that is how the politicians seem to be doing it and I think it started with Mussolini.
It was interesting to read how the word originated and examples of the manipulative behaviour. I didn’t find any specific examples related to Mussolini but certainly did with American politics.


New2Midlo 52M  
1054 posts
3/6/2021 12:34 pm

Oh, how I know how it feels to be gaslighted. Being married to someone with borderline personality is an E Ticket to the gaslight roller coaster.


sexyldy1000 61F  
9549 posts
3/6/2021 2:03 pm

    Quoting New2Midlo:
    Oh, how I know how it feels to be gaslighted. Being married to someone with borderline personality is an E Ticket to the gaslight roller coaster.
Wow! Must be a challenge. Thank you for validating how real it is and sharing your perspective.


Become a member to create a blog