Ramblings of the depraved.....
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Open mouth, insert foot.
Posted:Sep 21, 2016 7:23 pm
Last Updated:Oct 3, 2016 8:14 pm

I really need to start keeping my thoughts to myself.

A coworker of mine brought some fruit to work today. Normally it's an exciting thing when someone brings in goodies.....

This fruit looked like it had sat around in her fridge for a week.

It had been sitting out for a while before I got there and fruit flies were everywhere. A cloud of them swarmed up as I passed where they were sitting and I exclaimed, "how long has this rancid fruit been sitting out??"

Honestly, I was a little grossed out. Who would eat something that flies crawled all over?

"Ssshhhh...." I heard a tiny whisper coming from one of the isles in the back room.

Oh shit!

"What?" I whispered back.

"[Coworker] brought it in today. She's in the bathroom."

"Crap. You think she heard me?"

She heard me. Her shift was ending as mine was starting, and I noticed she took her fruit with her.

Thank God....

But, I did feel kind of terrible. Rancid or not, she did mean well.
Transported in Time
Posted:Sep 21, 2016 6:35 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2016 7:31 pm

Every once in while a memory is triggered that I haven't had in a long time.

Sometimes it's a sight, or a smell, or a particular song that plays on the radio......

I had a dream about an old friend last night, I haven't thought about him in a long, long time.

It was this time of year that we had started dating, way back when. Eighteen feels like a lifetime ago, now.

I dreamed about the time we had ventured off on a back road and parked out under the stars. It was a beautiful night, we spent the night laying on a blanket in the grass, staring up at the sky.

I miss the innocence of those days.

When it wasn't just sex, it was making love. When a kiss was romantic and not just a precursor to sex. When I got butterflies in my stomach just at the thought of being with a guy.
A man with crabs?
Posted:Sep 20, 2016 7:29 pm
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2016 7:13 pm

Or a guy playing pocket pool....

Either way, something I definitely don't want to see at work.

Sigh... It does feel good to be home at last.
An M&M in a Sea of Skittles
Posted:Sep 19, 2016 7:01 pm
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2016 7:29 am

Went to a Harvest Festival yesterday......

I stuck out like a sore thumb in the sea of tye dye, hairy women, and men with ZZ Top beards.

Every once in a while you must venture outside your comfort zone and experience those things you normally wouldn't experience.


It really allows you to appreciate your life and the niche you have carved out for yourself.

I have to say, while the hipster/enlightened proclaim to spread peace and love and acceptance, I find that's not really the case. Unless you are a vegan practicing sustainable living somewhere off the grid, you're shunned and looked down upon as a societal conformist of the machine.

Apparently I am expected to accept them as is but they do not have to do the same for me.

I had someone ask me what I did for a living, and when I told her, she wrinkled her nose up in disgust and exclaimed how she hated the products we sold.


I ended up taking the higher ground and bit my tongue because, while I might not have hairy armpits and a head full of dreads, I really am a peaceful person and can accept the fact that some people are just assholes.

I think I'll stick with my niche.
It's midnight, I'm home alone....
Posted:Sep 17, 2016 9:21 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2016 4:04 am

And I'm watching a scary movie.

What the heck is wrong with me?!?

I know I'm easily freaked out, this is the LAST thing I should be doing! The problem is, I started the movie earlier today before I headed off to work and didn't get a chance to finish watching it.

Let's just hope I don't end up having nightmares all night.

Wish me luck!
Damn my feet hurt!
Posted:Sep 16, 2016 8:37 pm
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2016 9:16 pm

Note to self: NEVER wear the brown flats to work EVER again.

I want to die.

It's been a long time since my feet have been this bad, I can barely walk. The lady in the downstairs apartment stared at me as I gingerly made my way up the sidewalk and into the building tonight.

She probably thinks I'm crazy.

Practically tip toeing, slowly making my way past her door.... I'm still not able to stand straight without wincing in pain.

Holy crap!
You know it's time to do laundry when...
Posted:Sep 15, 2016 7:32 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2016 3:11 am

The only underwear you have left to wear is the uncomfortable underwear.

Yep, I've been pretty lazy the past week. I am DEFINITELY doing some laundry tomorrow. I don't think I can handle another work night picking my panties out of my ass.
Lasagna. It's what's for dinner!
Posted:Sep 14, 2016 6:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2016 7:39 pm

I make a killer shortcut lasagna.

Oven ready noodles, Ragu, ground beef, ricotta, shredded cheese.

Couldn't be simpler, and it's literally been years since I've made a lasagna. True Italians and those who cook everything from scratch are probably horrified with my creation....

But, I digress.

I'm a single working mom juggling life, work, , birthday parties, and sporting events.

If I can't put a meal together in less than a half hour, it's not happening.
What a pain in the back!
Posted:Sep 14, 2016 6:24 am
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2016 5:34 am

You knelt before me on the bed, my feet on your shoulders, my hips in your lap.....

Your cock buried inside me.

My back arched as I thrust my hips up and into you...

pussy stretched to allow you to fill me completely.

We all have a favorite position, this one is mine. It's no secret, I do have a special affinity for deep penetration. The feeling of fullness, the feeling of having a man's pelvis grind into the fleshy parts of my thighs and ass, the uncomfortable tightness to which an orgasm is achieved.

That orgasm is well deserved....

You wake up the next morning with sore thighs, a sore abdomen, and a touchy lower back if you've done it right.

I must have done it right, last night, I'm suffering from all 3.
Freak Magnet it Full Force
Posted:Sep 12, 2016 7:10 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2016 8:15 am

I'm cursed with a freak magnet.

While it manifests itself in different ways, it none-the-less makes my life miserable at times.

After I picked my up from school today we stopped at the store to buy a few groceries.

What a debacle....

The moment I stepped into an isle it filled up with random carts, people, and associates. I tried shopping randomly around the store, that didn't work either. I've never had so many associates ask me if they could help me find anything, ever.

Nor have I had so many people striking up conversations with me.

After about 10 minutes I couldn't take it anymore and we cut our trip short. I'm still feeling a little residual anxiety coursing through my veins.

Nothing a little wine can't fix.....
1 comment
You might be a redneck if....
Posted:Sep 10, 2016 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2016 9:41 pm

I have a 10 year old car. I bought it brand new, it had 9 miles on it when I rolled off the lot. It wasn't my first new car, so I don't really have any emotional attachment to it....

I just love not having a car payment.

This is the first time in my entire adult life that I haven't had a car payment. It's awesome to have that extra cash to do stuff with!

The down side?

It's a 10 year old car. Stuff is starting to go haywire.

On my way home from work tonight my trunk popped open. Why? Don't have a clue. Didn't hit the button on the key ring, didn't hit the button on the dash, it just popped open.

What's worse?

The drivers side door doesn't open from the inside anymore. I literally have to roll my window down and open my door from the outside all the time.

What does this mean?

Tonight after work, in the dark and rain, I had to pull off to the side of the road because my trunk popped open and open my door from the outside just so I could shut the damn trunk.

I'm sure I was looking all kinds of cool......

I guess it's time to start thinking about getting a new car.
Grey skies are going to clear up....
Posted:Sep 10, 2016 8:50 am
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2016 7:16 pm

So, put on a happy face!

Ugh.... I'm having difficulty putting on my happy face today, for certain.

My work personality is cheerful, and smiley, and super excited about the most trivial shit. You found a lip balm you like? Awesome!!! You like the smell of apples? I have JUST the products for you!!! Can you use your coupon? Abso-fucking-lutely!!!!

I HATE my work personality.

I still feel drained from yesterday's monster of a work day and I'm due to head back in less than an hour.

What are the most memorable moments of my day?
Posted:Sep 9, 2016 7:46 pm
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2016 4:59 am

Well, let me tell you.....

A mentally challenged woman pulled my hair. Not once, not twice, but THREE times! Seriously?!? Her caregiver did nothing about it.

The cutest baby gave me the most beautiful smile. I can't help but love babies.

A man with dentures lost his teeth as he was talking to me on the sales floor. Too bad we don't sell polygrip.....

A goat head-butted me off my ex-husband's porch. Yah, it's Old McDonald's farm over there.

The best part of my day, though, was picking my up from their dad's. I haven't seen them in a couple of days, I surely do miss them when they aren't around.

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