Ramblings of the depraved.....
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The Holidays are over....
Posted:Jan 5, 2017 6:29 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2017 1:48 pm

I can FINALLY relax!!

The best part? I have 6 whole days off in a row.... I haven't had that much time off in nearly 2 years.

It's a mini vay-cay!!!!

Not going anywhere, not doing anything, this chic is going to kick back and watch Netflix from the comforts of her fuzzy jammies and heated bed.

Does it get any better than this??
Bah, humbug!
Posted:Dec 12, 2016 7:00 pm
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2017 6:17 pm

I'm trying, but I'm just not feeling the holiday spirit this year.....

Work has pretty much sucked the life out of me lately. Thankfully there is only a few more weeks left of the holiday season and things will be back to a more normal state.

I am so ready!

Now, if only Santa would leave me a little eye candy under the tree this year.....

I could use a 6' musclebound stud with a Tom Selleck mustache and twinkling eyes.
Baby it's cold outside...
Posted:Dec 8, 2016 7:30 pm
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2016 7:41 pm

And, I'm freezing my butt off.

The snow has finally hit. Ugh.... For someone who hates snow as much as I do, it's pretty much torture to have to continue living in the middle of the snow belt.

If it weren't for my I would have been long gone years ago!

Sigh.... For now I guess I'll just snuggle into my nice, warm bed and watch something on the boob tube.

Hopefully I'll actually be able to get a little sleep tonight.

Wish me luck!
It's the middle of the night....
Posted:Dec 7, 2016 9:40 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2016 7:53 pm

Of course I'm wide awake!

I hate nights like this. I have to work early tomorrow so of course I can't sleep.


I'm going to be a zombie tomorrow morning, roaming the store with blotter cards in one hand and shimmer mists in the other.... It's a good thing Negan is a fictional character, otherwise, I'd be a slowly moving target for that crazy barbed wire bat he calls 'Lucille'.

Wish me luck folks.
Is that what I THINK it is?!?
Posted:Dec 6, 2016 8:04 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2016 9:54 pm

How do you know you've had a rough work day?

You find a pair of your underwear laying on the floor at work and it's NOT the pair you wore to work.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed a pink and white striped piece of fabric on the floor moments after I had swept there.

Where in the hell did that come from??? I think to myself.....

With the dust pan in my hand, I head back over to the corner to see what it is.

"Did anyone drop anything?" I call out, thinking maybe one of my coworkers had dropped something from their aprons.


Upon further inspection I notice it's a pair of my UNDERWEAR!

Now, how in the hell does something like this happen???

After laughing for about 20 minutes I finally concluded it had to have been static clinged to the inside of one of my pant legs and when I started sweeping it had worked it's way down.

Oh good lord....

I'm just glad I found it and not one of my coworkers. I would have lost one of my favorite panties.... There is NO WAY I would own up to that one!
The wonders a day off can do!
Posted:Dec 5, 2016 5:37 pm
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2016 8:28 pm

After working about 52 hours in the last 6 days, it's finally my day off.

I can't think of anything on earth that could top the feeling of being able to sleep in this morning and wake up knowing I didn't have to go in and face the working world.

It was magical.

I have missed sitting around with my and just hanging out....

Didn't really notice how much until the 2 of us were just lounging on the couch watching 'Ellen'.

It was almost like my life was once again, complete.

I actually feel kind of, good, right now. Let's hope this feeling will last...

I'm back to work again tomorrow for another grueling 9 hour work day of kissing customers asses and rushing around emptying cases of product on the sales floor shelves.

My body is so sore right now, even my chest muscles are hurting. I really don't know how much more of this I can take.

On a positive note, though: Most of my Christmas shopping is done thanks to the wonders of Online ordering.

Didn't even have to get out of the jammies.....
Monday, already??
Posted:Dec 5, 2016 3:39 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2016 5:38 pm

Ugh... I've been working way to many hours. My days are starting to blend into one long, terrible, never ending stream of shit.

Eh, such is life....

Saturday was my melting point and I ended up crying at work.

I NEVER cry at work.

I felt like such a retard. I have been working my ass off at work trying to hold the fucking store together because my counterparts have been dropping the ball continually, and the store manager said to me in a snotty tone "So... What happened last night?!"

What happened????

How about, not a single person stocked ANYTHING all day long and you left it for the closer. How about the fact that NOBODY staged any of the marketing for the 2 hour update we had to do and you CANCELED the shifts of 2 of the people needed to make sure the update happened within reason?? How about the fact that I was scheduled to work until 11pm, I worked until Midnight, and then had to come back in at 9am the following morning for the second busiest sales day of our year???

Needless to say, I went home feeling defeated only to find a note from the downstairs neighbor taped to my mailbox telling me nobody wants to hear me have sex at 'all hours of the night' especially 4 a.m. and that she's pregnant and doesn't care to hear me and my stomping around all the time and that she has recorded me. She came right out and stated it only takes 3 noise complaints to be evicted and put a smiley after it.

Fucking bitch.

Good, bad, or ugly.... I took it to the next level. I have no idea where it will go from here, but I'm not going to live like this.

I made a copy of her note and wrote a little one of my own stating I am being harassed by my downstairs neighbor and refuse to live with her banging on the walls and ceiling and leaving notes taped to my mailbox. I also requested the apartment manager contact me and left it in the office mailbox.

I don't plan to stop living my life.

I'll bet she totally loved the fact that the handyman was out snow blowing the walks at 5 a.m. this morning. We live right next to the office so he ends up doing the most blowing right next to our building.

I wonder if she'll be leaving them a note, too.....
If I could quit my job....
Posted:Dec 1, 2016 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2016 8:38 pm

I would do it in a heartbeat today.

I literally had to tell my brand new counterpart at the store today "I've been working here for a while now, I think I can handle it." Like... WTF?!? Is the store going to fall into complete chaos the moment you step out??? To top it off, she left ME a list of what needed to be done to close.

I wanted to cram that fucking list down her throat the moment I saw the fucking thing.

It's been kind of hard keeping my anxiety at a manageable level tonight.

I'm just ready for the holiday season to be over and for things to go back to a somewhat normal state again. It sucks that my job sucks all the magic and fun out of Christmas for me.

I just can't wait for it to be over.
At long last....
Posted:Nov 29, 2016 7:20 pm
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2016 8:05 pm
I finally got a chance to see my new downstairs neighbors in the flesh.

Let's just say, I'm not impressed.

Picture, if you will, a younger, less sophisticated, non cartoon version of Sideshow Bob from 'The Simpsons'.

That is my new downstairs neighbor.

I happened to catch him arguing with his girlfriend at the door, apparently they've only been together for 6 months and they can't seem to agree on anything other than the fact that they don't know why they're still together.

She was a real piece of work, herself.

Neither of them looked showered, I have no idea what decade their clothes were from, and they both looked as though they just stumbled out of a hipster festival somewhere and landed in my hallway, stocking hats and all. I got quite the stare down as I headed down the stairs and breezed past them out the door.

I'm pretty sure they knew exactly who I was.

I give it 4 months and the apartment will be empty once again.....
How do I know my downstairs neighbor is an asshole?
Posted:Nov 28, 2016 7:57 pm
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2016 3:34 am

Last week I dealt with 2 's birthdays, 1 Thanksgiving, 2 days of Black Friday shoppers, and the loss of my sanity....

What stands out in my mind most?

My downstairs neighbor continually banging on the wall as I tried to have sex.


The sad part was, we weren't even being loud. No headboard banging on the wall, no moaning or groaning, we had barely gotten started. About the only thing he could have possibly heard was my creaky bed which, I might add, wasn't at all as bad as it normally gets.

I was being stealthy!! My were in the next room!!

The first time he banged on the wall, I thought to myself, was that what I thought it was?

The second time he banged on the wall, I thought, what a fucking asshole. That is what I thought it was.

The third time he banged on the wall I was pissed. I literally said aloud "I don't think so!!" and banged back.

I'm not going to stop living my life simply because some asshole living beneath me can hear my bed creaking while I have sex. I can't wait to see what he does when I don't have my in the next room and my full self comes forward.

I'm not that quiet.

He's just lucky I live alone, he could be subjected to this on a nightly basis.
Another Black Friday Bites the Dust
Posted:Nov 27, 2016 3:55 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2016 8:06 pm

Thank fucking God....

I have never been so exhausted, so sore, and so fed up with other people in my entire life.

Swear to God!!

The closer it gets to Christmas, the crankier the customers get. People are already bullying us retail workers around, getting bosses involved when they don't get their way and scamming on the newbies who may not necessarily know the in's and out's of coupons to get free product.

Here's the thing folks....

It's the retail workers who pay for the course of your actions.

That newbie you tricked into letting you incorrectly utilize your coupon will hear later from her boss, in a not so nice manner, that she has fucked up. Newbies are already on a 90 day probation.... Do you really feel good about yourself knowing you may have possibly cost a single mom her job because you scammed her into letting you get a free candle?

How about the mom who is struggling to make ends meet and knows the in's and out's of coupons and explained to you in great detail how you could use your coupon? You didn't like the fact that she wouldn't give you your way so you yelled, made a big scene, and got the manager involved so you COULD get your way.... That mom spends the rest of her day feeling like shit so you get get your additional 20% off your purchase even though the coupon had expired a week before. Does it make you feel good at the end of the day knowing you deflated that woman's self image so you could safe an additional $4.30?

Just, be kind, people. We are all out there in this world, doing our best. We make mistakes, it's not done on purpose. We want to be able to make your day, we honestly do. Everyone was a newbie at some point, keep this in mind.

I feel as though people have forgotten The Golden Rule, these days.

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
5 Things I Learned Today
Posted:Nov 18, 2016 3:48 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2016 3:57 pm

1. I don't really do it on purpose.... But I'm kind of a bully. A friend of mind told me he fell into a pile of stones today, I still can't stop laughing when I picture it in my minds eye. Who falls INTO a pile of stones?

2. Mustard is not my color, especially when I'm wearing it on the front of my white work shirt.

3. When my feet get cold, my nose gets cold too. This is just plain weird.

4. New neighbors have moved in downstairs. Ugh.... Let the fun begin!

5. There is a movie about vagina teeth. Really?! Who comes up with this shit?

On an unrelated side note: Could be kind of interesting to have a set of vagina teeth....
You're so vain....
Posted:Nov 17, 2016 7:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2016 4:13 am

I had a rough moment earlier today.

I look at myself in the mirror every day. While I LOOK at myself every day, I don't always SEE myself every day.

Today was one of those days that I had the chance to SEE myself.

I had blown my hair dry and was about to smooth out my bangs, like normal, when I noticed a grey hair in my bangs.

Then I noticed two.

Before I knew it, I had tears in my eyes and my heart was about to beat out of my chest.

I know, sounds pretty dramatic, it's not like these are the first gray hairs to grace my head..... They are, however, the first few to sprout where people can actually see them.

I've always been one of those women who planned on growing old gracefully.

Dye my hair?! Pshaw!!

I earned those grays!

It's become completely apparent to me, though, that I don't THINK I can be one of those women. It BOTHERS me to see my beautiful hair color slipping away and I know that it's unique enough that I don't think it can be recreated by a colorist.

For now, I guess I grin and bare it.

At least I still look young. Most people think I'm about 10 years younger than I am.

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