Ramblings of the depraved.....
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Today I am thankful.
Posted:Mar 21, 2020 11:44 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2020 3:49 pm

There is a lot going on in the world today.

I think we all know why....

But, today I am thankful that I was forced to work a Saturday.

Why thankful?

I'm thankful because I have a JOB that I can still continue to go to every day. I'm thankful that I'm being asked to work OT, that's extra in my pocket!! I'm thankful because the company I work for cares enough about it's employees that we are receiving hazard incentives for putting ourselves out there in the midst of the illness and chaos.

I'm thankful be healthy!

I may not be able buy toilet paper, rice, and yeast... But I'm thankful that I got to finally pick up a bag of potatoes and a loaf of bread today.

The world doesn't seem quite as terrible when you sit down and think about all the stuff you have to be thankful for.
What will it take for you to let me eat your pussy?
Posted:Mar 20, 2020 4:54 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 7:32 am

Um, for starters, if this is your opening line, it would take a miracle....

I'm fascinated by some of the correspondence I receive on here. I do meet men from here in person. I've been doing it for years, so it's not a matter of desperation for me. I select the one who piques my interest and fits the bill for what I'm currently looking for and go for it.

The sad thing is....

There are men out there that use these opening lines. Then they bitch because nobody will meet with them. They blame it on fake profiles, they blame it on the site, they blame it on women like me who won't just fall into bed with someone because they are "in Gaylord".

-I'm in Gaylord.

Uh, yah. So am I. Want a cookie??

-Like what you see?

90% of the messages I receive contain a dick pic. To be honest, you all look alike to me.

-I like your feet.

Great! So do I!

-Wanna fuck?

I do! Probably not you though....

-Looking for someone real who doesn't play games.

Damn... You take all the fun out of it.

I can only speak for myself, but, here's the thing.... I am worth the effort. I am smart, funny, and an experienced lover. I know what I'm doing....

I'm not going to just waste that on any old putz who just happens to be in town looking for a piece of ass.

So, to the gentleman who got pissy with me because I said no to his proposition to allow him to eat my pussy at his place of employment, quit acting like a fucktard and maybe someone might say yes.

Posted:Mar 19, 2020 4:05 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2020 3:59 am

Today is the anniversary of something I don't want to remember....

Funny how the good things that happen, the moments that make you smile and look upon fondly are so easily forgotten.

Why is it that the unpleasant sticks with us?

Always sitting there in the back of your mind waiting for it's opportunity to reappear.

Surprise! I'm back! Did you miss me??

I was fine until I got to work this morning....

And then it happened. The music was playing loudly and I could feel the memory creeping out from where I had suppressed it. I tried to push it back but it just wasn't going to leave....

My eyes filled with tears that I couldn't hold back and found myself crying.

It was a brief moment of sadness.... Then I managed to pull myself back together, tucking this bad memory back into the banks to be forgotten once again.

If only I could just take it away....
The Difference Between Sons and Daughters
Posted:Mar 18, 2020 4:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2020 3:43 pm

My middle has worked a couple of days now and word has gotten out....

The coworkers are realizing that he is my and they're all filling me in on how much they like him and how good of a worker he is.

I'm so proud!

He's such a good and has such a sense of responsibility. I saw him working today as I was leaving to head home and I couldn't even contain my smile.

Then there's the spawn....

With no school to occupy her time all day, I spent the day receiving random texts from her.

I can't find my chapstick.

Did you steal my chapstick?

I think I have the Choronavirus.

Can you buy me a candy bar?

Dixie opened a fortune cookie that said her new life is right in front of her.

Dixie?? Who in the hell is Dixie??? When did she get chapstick???? Does she think I'm going to bring her home a candy bar because she said she has Choronavirus?????

If she thinks I'm bringing her home a candy bar after she accused me of stealing her chapstick she's sadly mistaken.

And there you have it.... The difference between sons and daughters.
Let's play a little game.
Posted:Mar 17, 2020 4:04 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2020 3:41 am

We'll it...

Guess How This Rapper Died

The Spawn and I were sitting on the couch tonight after dinner. She was talking a mile a minute about Post Malone's new tattoo and asking if she should be Post Malone for Halloween.

"I think I want to be Post Malone for Halloween. Did you know you can his tattoos on Amazon? See, !"

She started to show pictures of people who were wearing the Post Malone tattoos... etc.

The next thing I know the conversation has morphed into a show and tell of rappers with tattoos who are now dead.

"Guess how this rapper died!"

"Um, I don't know. What the heck is wrong with his teeth?"

"It's called a grill, jeez Mom. He was shot in his car right after he bought a motorcycle."

"How do you know this??"

"Everyone knows this...."

The next thing I know the Spawn in rolling her eyes and moving on to the next dead rapper.

"Guess how this rapper died!"

"I don't think I like this game."

"Mom! Guess!"

"I don't know. Someone poisoned his soup."

"Seriously?? him, he died of a drug overdose."

I could see the disapproval written all over her ... Still makes chuckle. I ended up telling her I didn't need to know that kind of stuff because I had her to keep in the loop.

"You know, I won't be around forever."

" pretty sure I'll be ok with my limited rapper knowledge."
Hygiene in the Workplace
Posted:Mar 16, 2020 4:28 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2020 4:33 pm

I was standing outside my office when I noticed the smell....

What is that smell?!?

I looked around thinking there may be an mop bucket sitting out with stagnant water.

I just couldn't pinpoint it.

Nose Hairs was across the hall talking his manager and I never thought twice about it....

Until he left and took the stink with him.

Nose Hairs was kicking a case of BO like I've never witnessed before. My eyes were tearing up and my sinuses were cleared....

When did this guy shower last?!?

I'm feeling ill just at the thought of the smell.... And, no, it's not Choronavirus.

The way a man smells plays a key part in my opinion of his attractiveness. The better he smells, the more attractive he becomes to me. I love a nice smelling man....

Nose Hairs is not that man.

I'll bet he has long toe nails, too....

Tonight at the gym....
Posted:Mar 15, 2020 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2020 4:06 pm

I cleared my throat and the lady on the treadmill next to me immediately shut off her treadmill, wiped it down, and left.

Should I be taking this personally??l

I didn't.... I was actually happy she left. She was a loud breather.

I took my shopping yesterday for new work pants and I bought myself some bona fide gym wear as a reward for my hard work the past month and a half at the gym.

Last week alone I spent 9.65 hours at the gym. I tracked 51,213 steps on my fitbit, equating to 17.69 miles, and I also managed to climb 46 floors on top of it all.

I deserve a moisture wicking athletic shirt and matching yoga pants!

My little old lady from last Sunday showed up at the gym again tonight. She had a ruffly grey shirt on, a grey ball cap, and black capri pants. I smiled when I saw her and she immediately began talking to me.

She said she left her husband at home tonight because she needed a break from him. She had apparently gotten her last 2 teeth pulled on the top of her mouth and she'd only been eating soup the last few days and she was getting sick of soup. She also said she couldn't wait to get her top denture because she planned on getting a job.

She is a woman with goals!

Makes me think of myself, in a way, as I've always got goals I'm working toward.

Right now my main goal is to become a better person.
The Uni-Boob Prevails
Posted:Mar 14, 2020 6:40 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2020 3:50 pm

ISO : A sports bra designed for the large chested woman.

I tried, yet again, another new sports bra today that left me less than thrilled.

They start out fantastic. The girls are contained, sitting up there where they belong, the uni-boob is happening but there really isn't anything you can do about that...

But then, you start to sweat. The fabric is getting moist under the girls and down the center of our back, which means, the support is dwindling.

Before you know it, the racer back is cutting into your neck and the girls are swinging back and forth in a sweated out hammock.


I was certain this one would be different.... That the zip front / secret hidden fastening hook would be the miracle of miracles.

Alas, I was wrong.

This one was probably the worst as I could totally see the entire zip thing through my shirt.

Nothing like a uni-boob with a hint of zipper.....

A lot of women get envious when I complain about being large chested.

"You should consider yourself lucky!"

"I only WiSH I had your problems!"

"You are so lucky!"

These women are clueless. They only wish they had that problem because they want the attention men give to women who have that problem.

Here's the thing....

We struggle to find clothing that fit us properly.

Shirts need to be loose enough in the chest to fit the girls but that usually means the abdomen is is way bigger than it needs to be and you end up looking sloppy and heavier than you are.

Sexy nighties? Not going to happen.... The chest will always be way to tight and way to small. Nothing sexier than seeing a girl with all her seams in all the wrong places....


I'm stuck with what I have so I choose to make the best of it.

I would love to find the perfect sports bra though....
Apocalypse 2020
Posted:Mar 14, 2020 2:37 pm
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2020 3:52 pm

My FB memory from this day, 1 year ago, was a text conversation between myself and The Hippie.  

Hippie - If you were a Spice Girl, you would be Apocalypse Spice.

Me - I can live with that.

I'm certain I was being difficult and we were disagreeing about something...  I do have that infamous Irish temper.  

It still made me chuckle today, considering the current state of things.  I'll be honest, I'm 100% unprepared for the Corona Virus Pandemic of 2020.

Sixty five rolls of toilet paper tucked away all over my apartment?  Nope!  I think I have 4?

Five hundred cans of corn and peas squirreled away in the cupboards?  Nada!  

Hand sanitizer coming out of my ears?  No way Jose!  I think I have a half used one somewhere....

I work within the retail industry and I saw, with my own eyes, 10 skids of toilet paper SELL OUT in the span of 3 1/2 hours.

And now the schools in my area are closed.... Closed so that we may keep our home and quarantine them, keep them safe.


Yesterday morning Boss #1 told me, in my office, to keep healthy because he's going to really need me in this time of crisis. We anticipate a lot of the sales floor needing to take time off because of the childcare situation which means the rest of us will be all that more necessary to keep the store going.

What does that mean?

Every day I go to work, I expose myself to the potential of becoming infected and bringing it home. Yah, safe....

This is craziness.... Absolute insanity.

If we are going to be infected, it's going to happen. Someone may have already touched the cardboard of your cereal box and the virus may be lying there already, in wait. It could be in the air at the post office while you check your mail. Someone might have sneezed when they walked past your car door, leaving you the gift of virus for the next time you open your door.

Do you actually think will be AT HOME during the next 3 weeks?

I don't... I'm going to be seeing them out and about everywhere because parents still have all their normal daily responsibilities to take care of.

What's more?

People are using this time off as an excuse to take a vacation. I witnessed, with my own eyes, as 2 customers talked about how they "came up north from downstate because they got the next 3 weeks off. Perfect excuse to go skiing."

I was appalled.

One customer had 3 with him.

Nice quarantine.....

I will plan to continue on, life as normal, being as proactive as possible. I will continue to wash my hands often. I will continue to not touch my face. I will now refrain of shaking hands.... etc, but I will still be as pleasant as usual.

Here's the thing...

Doctors and nurses deal with infectious disease every single day. If they somehow manage to continue to open their eyes each morning without a stockpile of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, so can I.
Mother... ... Coworker
Posted:Mar 12, 2020 3:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2020 2:39 am

So surreal....

The company I work for employs a lot of different people with a wide range of skill sets, as of today, my middle is now officially my coworker.

How many times does a parent get the opportunity to hire and onboard their ??

The weirdest part will be having him call me by name at work..... It just sounds so foreign to me. Seeing as he is still in high school, I doubt we will be working together often right now, but that time will come at some point.

I was explaining the dress code to him and telling him where to report on his next shift and who to ask for when my Evil Twin walked up.

"Wait... What????" She was shaking her head a little in disbelief.

"This is our newest employee." I smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

"Oooohhhhh man!!! You are SO going to have to be PERFECT all the time!!!" We all laughed because it is totally true. "You're mom is going to hear EVERYTHING about everything you do!! Does anybody else know about this??"

I had first asked the boss duo if it would be an issue for him to apply, and they said they welcomed it. I then passed along his application to one of the leadership staff and let them do the interviewing.

The last thing I wanted was for someone to feel like preferential treatment had happened.

"You WAIT until everyone realizes you're working here." She was chuckling as she walked away.

I'm certain by tonight, everyone will know. My Work BFF even made sure he took the time to introduce himself and give him a high 5. Thankfully my Work BFF is working on Sunday, which is my 's first work day. It'll be good for him to see a face he recognizes.
A day in the life....
Posted:Mar 11, 2020 2:31 pm
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2020 2:40 pm

The work facade is crumbling today....

It started in the parking lot when Slow Moe Joe waited for me to get out of my car and start to walk into the building so he could walk in with me.

Everything about him is slow... Even the way he enunciates his words makes me want to scream in his face to speed up.

"Well.... Talk about this weather, huh.... I wasn't expecting snow or anything....."

"They said on the news it was supposed to snow," I replied, walking a little faster.

"Really.... I hadn't heard that....... This is just such a surprise to me...."

OMG! God help me, I'm not going to make it through the day. I finally ditched him as I was walking much faster than he was only to be confronted at my office door by an employee who needed help requesting time off.

I shut my office door right after I walked through as I could hear her calling my name. Turning my back to the window, I could see her staring at me as I set my coat on my desk and reached into my purse to pull out my name badge.

Come on people..... I'm not even on the fucking clock yet.

The moment I opened my office door to go punch in she was there, asking me how to request time off and where to go to do so.

I told her I had to punch in and kept moving.

I did tell her, over my shoulder, she still had to go to the same place as always to request time off and disappeared out the door. This is not a new employee, she has been working here longer than I have.

I have enough on my plate with my own job to be doing other peoples shit too.

After punching in, I headed back to my office and shut the door.

I never work with the door shut....

Did it stop anyone?

Fuck no!

The next thing I know I've got an angry employee knocking on my door because he "just needs a form." I don't normally work with with this guy as he works an entirely different shift than I do, but he's all disgruntled and angry because he doesn't feel he should have to do anything to get his medical benefit discount for his wife.

Again.... All his responsibility to make sure he logs into shit, requests shit, and creates his own accounts.

Not mine.

Finally his manager shows up as he was the one who was originally supposed to be helping him and I excused myself to do my actual job for a change.

Not for long....

Because Meme Guy showed up in my office to tell me he is having a bad day. I genuinely feel for Meme Guy, though, as his is struggling with some identity issues and it has manifested in depression and self harm. Today, though, he is telling me someone close to him has committed suicide and I'm breaking down inside as I hear about it. Emotional issues and depression are prevalent in his 's genetic makeup, and while I don't know his , I feel for her.

And worry about her.

The work facade has nearly disappeared for today.

Most days I have it all together. I NEED to have it all together as my days are filled with hiring, and meetings, and conference calls, and crazy boss antics, and employees who have issues with their pay, their benefits, their EVERYTHING.

Some days, like today, I pretend to be ok, but I'm teetering inside, slowly pulling the pieces back into place to form myself once again. It doesn't take much to sway me, one way or the other, and even as I sit here typing this my phone is ringing off the hook and employees are circling my closed office door because I've left a note on the outside that says...

Do Not Disturb

I just need five fucking minutes....

Five minutes to regroup, get my fucking shit together, slap some stucco on my crumbling facade, and make it through the day.


So, yah. I sat in my office with the door shut and typed this up in an email to myself earlier in the day.

I don't normally do that....

When I'm at work, I'm at work and that's my focus. Today, however, was a particularly bad emotional day for me and I whole heartedly needed an opportunity to vent, which I did not have.

It's amazing the impact your environment can have on you.

One of my coworkers asked me today, while we were waiting in line for the restroom, if I felt like I'd earned my psychology degree today.

She may have been kidding, but she wasn't far from the truth. I know more about the people I work with than I do about my own family.

And now I am here, at home, digesting the shit show of a day I had today. My has just spilled my coffee all over myself, the couch, and the floor and I'm still replaying the argument I just got into with my ex husband over and over in my mind.

Fucking fantastic.
Posted:Mar 10, 2020 2:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2020 4:20 pm

I look up at you from where I am laying....

Your sleepy eyes look back as you lay beside me, perched up on one elbow. A small smile forms on your lips as I smooth my hand across your chest... your abdomen... gently wrapping my fingers around your hard cock.

Reaching down, you slip your hand between my thighs.... Instinctively I pull my legs together, I'm not supposed to like what is happening.

"Open...." you whisper to me, separating my legs.

My heart is beating fast... I slow my breathing to allow me to relax. Slowly your hand slips back between my thighs, fingers gently probing the soft, sensitive folds of skin. Your hands are much rougher than my own.... I'm unsure of what I am feeling.

Is it pain? Is it pleasure?

Leaning down to kiss me, your fingertips lightly apply pressure.... The sensation echoes to the tips of my toes. My knees bend, closing my legs around you once again. I catch myself, this time, and slowly release them open. Reaching out, I place my arm around you instead, pulling you toward me.

"You're so wet..." You whisper into my ear. I feel myself moving toward you, holding you closer to me as your fingers begin to slide inside me. "You just need to trust your body," you tell me as I feel myself pulling back, pulling away.

It's not easy for me to release myself to another....
And.... Cut!
Posted:Mar 9, 2020 2:57 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2020 12:41 am
This day is a wrap!

I'll be leaving the footage on the cutting room floor as this day is a day I would like to never revisit again.

The company updated my hiring database over the weekend and it was a complete nightmare trying to navigate this morning.

It was INFINITELY more enjoyable to have to muddle my way through the process in front of the applicant who just 'showed up' at my office for her background check.


There is a reason why people tell you to call and make an appointment.

I've done a lot of hiring over the years... But this chic took the cake.

"Ok, i'm going to need you to log in using the same information you used to create your application."

"I don't have that info."

"I can't go forward with the hiring process unless you can log in and provide the information I need to do your background check."

Insert Cricket Chirping Here

"Do you understand what I'm telling you. If you are unable to log in, we are done here. You don't get hired."

"Oh.... Ok."

She turned and started typing in an email and a password.

Nothing matched.

"Are you sure you are using the right email? Let me look at your application and see what you have listed."

I pulled her application and reviewed the email listed with her.

"That's a fake email. I used that because I don't want emails."

"Ok, here's the thing. Either you provide me with correct, accurate information that we will be using to create your employee profile, or we're done here. You will need to complete a new application that I will then need to create a new job offer for so we can go forward with hiring you. It's up to you, I've already spent the last 30 minutes trying to get you logged into our database with an email that doesn't even exist."

Deer in the headlights.

"I really need a job, the girl helped me at Michigan Works to fill out my app and I am just not a computer person."


Not one iota of sympathy from me.... I wanted to slap her. She didn't want a job.... She wanted someone to coddle her through whatever the hell she thought was happening. This is definitely a woman that has spent the majority of her life manipulating people with tears.

I left her sitting in the conference room and told her to find me across the hall in my office when she was done. I would then walk her through the background.

I think the best part of my day was when I stopped by the ex's house to pick up my . She was running around, throwing attitude, and being a shit like normal.

And then she handed me a baggie with a pork chop in it.

"Dad made you a pork chop."

You just never know where the highlight of your day will come.

He always was a much better cook than I was.... It was one of the best tasting pork chops I've ever had. Ugh....


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