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Ramblings of the depraved.....
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Cardboard Castle
Posted:Sep 3, 2021 3:59 am
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2021 1:12 am

My apartment is full of packing boxes.

Even I'm sitting , drinking my coffee and watching the news, I see the Tilly Cat perched upon the highest stack like a mountain climber atop Mt. Everest, smug smile and her tiny little face.

Nose Hairs has been bringing boxes week aid in my moving efforts....

He had been shocked Monday when I said I was moving, I think it was the first time I've ever seen him speechless.

I wound telling him the whirlwind story of how it came be and how excited I am that I'll be living by so many lakes in such a cute little town....

And apparently he's taken it upon himself to research the area. I didn't know this until yesterday when he mentioned something about being in the country.

"I'm really not that far from everything. Heck, I'm only a half hour from Traverse City. That's even closer than Gaylord."

"Yah, I know, I was looking at the map....."

His story continued, but I was like, what the hell??

You were looking at the map?!?

I know, it's pretty apparent that he has a crush on me. But, 's the thing, the guy has a live in girlfriend.

Lots of red flags flying, my friends... I can't even see beyond the red.

And with that I'll just say.....

Happy Friday!
On today's episode of 'What?? Really?!?'
Posted:Sep 2, 2021 3:43 am
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2021 2:41 pm

Secret_lade is at her desk preparing for orientation when she receives a phone call from the Corporate Contact Center.

"Hi, this is Bobby Sue. I have a call for you from an Amanda, she wants to talk about her orientation today."

"Ok, send her through."

Bobby Sue dropped the line and was immediately replaced by the screaming voice of a having a temper tantrum.

"Hi, this is [secret_lade]."

"Oh, heeeeyyyyy.... This is Amanda. I can't find no one to watch my . Can I just bring him with me to orientation?"

Are you fucking kidding me??

I must be on candid camera somewhere.....

I peered about my office but did not see any sketchy cameras or strange people milling about in the background.

"No, I'm sorry, orientation is considered to be an actual work day. You will be in a class with three other people and it would be unfair to them to have to listen to what I'm listening to right now while they are trying to learn."

Silence aside from the sound of her now crying .

"Would you like to try to reschedule? I'm on vacation next week but I will be having another orientation the week after?"

I was trying to be as nice as possible, after all I'd already waited a month for her to get her birth certificate so she would have two forms of I-9 identification.

This woman clearly did not want a job.

"Um.... Let me make a few calls to see if I can find a sitter. I really need to start this job right away."


That was the last I heard from her. No call no show for orientation, no phone calls back to reschedule, no chance for employment now.

Good lord!

Happy Thursday!!
Secret_Lade is on the move!
Posted:Aug 31, 2021 5:01 pm
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2021 2:43 pm

I signed the lease for the rental house today.

Yah.... I'm as shocked as you are!

I had called and talked to the apartment manager this morning, giving permission to release my information.

A half hour later I received a text from Rental House Lady telling me I'd been selected to rent the house. When can I stop by and put down the deposit....

Not going to lie, I was a lil shocked she'd chosen me after the Saturday walk-thru.

The Spawn and I were getting out of the car at the house when I heard the Rental House Lady calling out to us from behind.

"You should consider yourselves special, I selected you guys out of about fifty rental applications."

"You did? Oh my..."

"You know the market out there, there just isn't much to choose from so when I listed this I was just overwhelmed with people."

"I feel honored. How did I get selected out of everyone?"

As you all know, I was certain I would not be.....

"You were just so nice, and your is so cute, I just felt like you were the right fit for us."

"Thank you, I'm really glad you chose us."

And, I really am.

The Spawn and I drove around our new little town and checked out the school, we are so excited for this fresh start.

It'll be fucking amazing to not have to listen to the new downstairs fucktards loudly gaming all day and all night! I can't wait for this move!
Rental house still on the horizon??
Posted:Aug 31, 2021 3:41 am
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2021 2:42 pm

The Rental House Lady was blowing up my phone yesterday while I was onboarding new employees.

Apparently she'd called and talked to someone from my company, immediately after I met with her on Saturday, and got a good work reference.

I'm not quite certain who she had spoken with....

But whoever it was didn't give her the Work Reference number that we're supposed to be giving out. I gave her the Work Reference number when I saw her and told her that was the process.

Yesterday, however, she was frustrated because she hadn't been able to get through to the apartment manager for the apartments I currently live in.

When she did get through.... They wouldn't just release my information until I called and gave my approval.

So I stepped back to my desk to find several messages stating she'd left a message, she was experiencing red tape, she'd finally talked to the manager, they wouldn't release any info, can I call her, and can I call and talk to the office manager to give approval to release my rental references.

I'm wondering what kind of information this woman is for?

I guess I'll find out when I call the apartment manager today.

Happy Tuesday!
And.... He's a Marine.
Posted:Aug 30, 2021 3:58 am
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2021 2:43 pm

I can't help but beam with pride!

No longer will I be able to refer to him as Boot Camp Boy....

The new Marines had six hours of liberty time on Sunday and, in that time, they were able to use their cell phones to make calls home.

That was the best phone call I've ever received in my whole life.

He was excited, telling me tales of Crucible and his multitude of blisters, describing the overwhelming humidity and his ability to sweat, all the while stuffing his face with pizza, Mt Dew, and candy.

This was the first time the new Marines had any opportunity to eat anything other than the low calorie, high protein diet they've all been eating for the last eleven weeks....

In the background I could hear many, many other voices of other Marines as they talked with their families as well!

"It was so cool Dad...."

"It's a soda, mom...."

"Hi Grandma...."

This was the phone call I needed to set my emotions free.

When I asked him how he was doing and if he was having fun, his answer lifted the weight of the world from my shoulders.

Up until now, I've been carrying a lot of emotional upset and guilt. But when he said....

"Yah Ma, I'm having fun. It's really hard, but I'm having fun."

He told me about the multitude of times when he just wanted to quit, then didn't because he'd received a letter from me, encouraging him on, or had a talk with one of his buddies and got through it....

"Hey, this shit really sucks. I don't think I want to do it anymore."

"You sure? You'll be a chick magnet in those dress blues....."


(I'm sure it went something like that.)

It's been a long time coming, but I think I'm finally able to move past this. I'm ready to restart my life and find a semblance of normal once again.

I can't wait!

Happy Monday!!
I came, I saw, I was not selected....
Posted:Aug 28, 2021 8:51 am
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2021 2:50 pm

The Spawn and I checked out the rental house this morning.

That was a waste of my time....

Cute little house, nice location, land lord is a 70 year old woman spent the majority of my time lecturing me on lawn care and "did I know I would be responsible for the upkeep."

"Have you ever run a lawn mower before?"

Yes, she did INDEED ask me that question.

"I was a homeowner for 17 years. I've cut grass on many, many occasions."

I could not hold back my sarcasm. We had *just* talked about my lack of rental history as I went from owning my home to renting this apartment that I currently live in.

Suddenly were two other applicants in the running again.

I will hear back from her.

Won't be holding my breath on that one..... I'm pretty sure she didn't think I could handle considering I'm a single mom and all.

I raised three , an alcoholic, and single handedly took care of a house for 17 years. I think I would have been just fine.

But, she was interested in my lawn care abilities.

On a good note - Boot Camp Boy has completed Crucible. He is now a United States Marine. I am SO proud of him.

Happy Saturday!
Eight more hours....
Posted:Aug 27, 2021 9:13 pm
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2021 8:22 am

Eight more hours of the Crucible left for the Boot Camp .

I'm a hot mess of emotion right now....

The Spawn and I are looking at a house in the morning, on a fluke I had seen it for rent and decided up the number.

There had been other people looking at the house, so I didn't really think I'd even be a consideration, but somehow I managed be.

"I just wanna be upfront with you. I had some people look at it yesterday, and I'm schedule show it today at noon. You sound like you'd be qualified to rent it, but I don't want you to get your hopes up."

Professionalism was not this woman's forte....

But, I was sitting in the break room at :05 when my cell rang.

It was the house lady.

"You wanna come look at this house? It's not going work out for the others."

We'll see what happens.

The house is in Bellaire, which is about 40 minutes from where I live now, but it would give me that opportunity kind of make a fresh start somewhere without having give up my job do so.

I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow.

If it was meant to be, it will happen.

I'll keep you posted!
When did I become so.... Social??
Posted:Aug 25, 2021 2:42 am
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2021 9:19 pm

I went to a coworker's birthday get together Monday night, after work.

Not a big deal, just a few people hanging out, eating pizza and drinking beer.....

Now I'm suddenly invited to a surprise birthday get together for another coworker on Friday night as well.

It's like an alternate universe!

Y'all know how much I 'love' hanging out with the work peeps after work....


I can't say no, now. I've already been to one, now I 'have' to go to the other!

It's just *so* much fun always being the single one in the group. No built in conversation partner to mingle through the group with.

When you're single, you're flying solo!

My plan is to make a quick appearance, wish the birthday girl a happy birthday, and escape unnoticed.

Wish me luck!
This week...
Posted:Aug 24, 2021 2:54 am
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2021 9:41 pm

This week my Boot Camp Boy becomes a Marine.

Needless to say, I'm all sorts of crazy emotional.

He is facing the Crucible, the final challenge that transitions that recruit into a Marine.

I am beyond proud of him, words can't even describe. I only wish I could be there to see him march onto that parade deck Saturday morning and receive his eagle, globe, and anchor.

I have just one more work week until I leave to see him graduate.

I've never been so excited for something in my entire life.

I was not ready to let him go yet, but the thing is, I probably never would be no matter what the circumstance.

And, I find myself thinking back to a conversation I'd had with my oldest when he was 24. He'd wanted to transfer to Colorado and I had talked him out of it.

I told him it was too far away, what if he needed my help? I wouldn't be there to just bail him out of his shenanigans.

He's always deeply embroiled in some sort of mischief.....

I think I should have let him go.

My mother instincts tell me to hang on tight, protect those babies and keep them close. They need me!

They deserve to spread those wings, though.... No matter how difficult it is for that Momma.

And, I'm here to say, it IS difficult.

It is the Ultimate Mother Challenge!

Motherhood Crucible


Two of them Adults

One Spawn of Satan

Will I pass that final challenge??

Only time will tell....
Posted:Aug 22, 2021 4:43 pm
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2021 9:51 pm
Sometimes I have those days where I feel small and insignificant.

Today was one of those days.

I decided to trek out and enjoy the sunshine while we still had it and found myself in TC doing some shopping.

I didn't really buy much....

I don't actually need anything.

But I found myself at the book store browsing for what seemed like hours....

Until I found this.

And it was at that precise moment that I knew....

I had to have this planner.

Not so much to plan my day, necessarily, but to chronicle those moments when I believed I could so I fucking did!

That way, on days like today, when I feel as though I'm invisible to the world, I can look back on those moments and know.... that I am not.
Not my circus, not my monkees.
Posted:Aug 21, 2021 6:25 am
Last Updated:Aug 23, 2021 5:22 pm

different employees approached yesterday tell they didn't receive their paychecks.

An employee who has been working with us for about a year...

A brand new leader...

And a young guy who falls somewhere the spectrum...

Not going lie, the only one I felt bad for and went out of my way help was the employee who has the challenges.

You see.... The thing is....

Where I work, it's the employees who are ultimately responsible for taking care of their own direct deposit accounts.

They can do it at ANY time.

Using their phone apps or any computer, they have access this function day or night.

My only interaction with this process, ever, is during onboarding when I put them in the system.

Even then, the only thing I do is state them....

"Ok, we're doing direct deposit now. the screen, scroll down the bottom, and enter your routing number, bank , and account number where those red asterisks are calling out for them."

And, yes, it never fails, the fucktards will always return with "Here? Is this where I put the routing number?"

I want scream 'Yes asshole!! You do have the cognitive ability READ A WORD without needing seek out my approval!!'

Instead I say "Does it say routing number?"

The first employee approach about not getting her check was an employee who had been working with us for about a year. She had come earlier in the week and said I needed change her direct deposit in the system.

"I'm sorry, I don't have access that. You do, though, you can do it at any time. Just go into [database] and click the tile that says ."

", ok."

I never gave it another thought after that.

Fast forward Friday when she stood before once again.

"I went in and changed my direct deposit ok, but I didn't get my check today. So, when I went in just now to look at the account number I put in, one of the numbers is different. What are you going to do?"

What am I going to do?

Hmmm..... Think I'll shrug my shoulders. Not my issue to fix, this is why it is entirely in the hands of the employee.

"This isn't something I can fix. Did you call your bank yet to see if the deposit was rejected?"


"Did you fix your account number so your next check will deposit correctly?


"Ok. You have to do these things to take care of your issue. Once this is done, I will email payroll and alert them to look for your returned deposit and let them know your account number is corrected."

Not me.

It was later in the day when the brand new leader told me he had issues with his pay.

"I didn't get my paycheck this week. I checked this morning and I checked just now."

"Did you look at your payslip?"


"Ok, first we need to see your payslip."

You'd think something like that would have already been done?? He's a salaried leader, does he even have the experience he claims to have??

", it shows I was paid."

"Yep. Check your numbers, is the account in there correctly?"

"The routing number isn't correct. It's for a fifth third bank, but not the one I use."

He'd been fiddling around on his phone for about ten minutes while he was looking this shit .

"Well, if you want be paid correctly going forward, you're going need put the correct routing number in there and call your bank. If it hasn't already been returned back payroll, they may be able route it into the correct account. If it has been returned back to payroll, I'll send an email stating the routing number was corrected and it will be reissued with your next check."

For someone who *ran* a store employing upwards of 30 people, I'd think he would have been experiences at something like this.....

And then there was the young man who falls on the spectrum.

I truly did help him.

He had called me and said he hasn't received any paychecks yet.

"Let me look at your payslips and see if it's being direct deposited."


"I'm seeing you're receiving direct deposits. Let's go over your account information."

I read aloud his account number that was in the system and asked him if that was his account number.

"No, that's not my account number. This is my account number."

He read to me his account number.

"Ok, here's what you need to do. You need to call your bank, ok? Let them know you have accidentally put the wrong account number in your direct deposit and ask them if they've returned your checks. When you've done that, I want you to call me back. Ok?"


Thankfully there are some people in this world who will look out for those who need it, and the girl he talked to at the back was one of them.

"Hi. The lady at the bank told me to come here."

I was happy to see him! I wanted to make sure we got the account information in there correctly this time.

" good! I was hoping you could stop by so I can help you! I'm going to verify your bank info as we put it in this time, ok?"

I watched over his shoulder and reviewed the account info the card.

"Let's head back my office, I'm going send an email payroll let them know your account information has been corrected in the system. You'll probably be getting your when you get your next check. Let know if this doesn't happen, ok??"


Out of the , he was the only one who didn't get mad and pissy or expect magically fix it all.

Out of the , he was the only one who graciously accepted the fact that he'd made a mistake.

Happy Saturday!
How was my day?
Posted:Aug 19, 2021 3:51 pm
Last Updated:Aug 21, 2021 5:21 am

Well, let's see....

Someone decided to take a shit in the corner of the men's restroom stall.

And.... No, it was CLEARLY not an accident as it was not anywhere near the corner of the stall that contained the toilet.

Imaging how fun *that* was to apologize for during a customer complaint!

Absolutely fucking amazeballs!

In my whole entire life, I can honestly say, I never imagined I would find myself in this type of scenario.

"I'm so sorry you found yourself in that situation. Thank you for alerting me to this, I'll make sure it gets taken care of immediately."

Yes, by all means, please tell me how disgusted you are, AGAIN, and definitely describe the color and texture of that pile of shit.

The smell?? Oh, fantastic. Yep, I'm sure the disgusting individual who did this probably was half dead. I can smell it from here.

Corn you don't say....

Nope, I don't understand why someone would do this either. Some people are just fucking crazy like that.

Blah.... blah..... blah.....

The best part of my day was the part where this guy was becoming a dot on the horizon as he walked out the door and hopefully out of my life for good.

Happy Thursday!
Posted:Aug 17, 2021 4:13 pm
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2021 3:54 am

Is it just me? Or, does this word sound a little....


I was checking out the house plants when I heard a male voice ask from behind me....

"Are you looking for anything in particular?"

"Yes, I kind of need something hearty, easily taken care of. I was thinking..... A succulent?"

I turned just in time to see my sales guy turn five shades of red.

Chuckling a little, I said it again.


"Ok, now you're just being mean."

I half heartedly apologized but couldn't contain my laughter. This was BY FAR the funniest thing I'd seen all day.

Happy Tuesday!

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