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Ramblings of the depraved.....
 
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Kinda like Gloria Gaynor....
Posted:Apr 6, 2021 3:00 pm
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2021 7:45 am
5647 Views

I will survive.

I got my second COVID vaccine yesterday, everything still appears be in working order.

My arm is swollen at the injection sight and it feels warm and tender the touch, but aside from that, I'm side effect free.

I'm VERY thankful!

I'm not ready to talk about the Spawn yet.... But, we have hugged it out and things are better.

I've just got so many emotions, some of it is being fueled by the fact that my leaves in a few short weeks. Just typing these words brought tears to my eyes.

I don't think I can talk about that either.

A post best saved for another day....
23 Comments
And the Scum Mom of the Year award goes to....
Posted:Apr 4, 2021 7:56 am
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2021 2:11 am
5921 Views

Me.

It's Easter, he has risen.

It's a day when families are supposed to come together and celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.

What am I doing?

I'm screaming at the Spawn because she's worked my last nerve and I refuse to put up with her newly developed 'entitled' attitude and clear disdain for me in general.

HAD IT!

I'm crying at the thought that my Middle , the one that loves me, is leaving me soon and I'll be left with HER...

The one who hates me.

"Give me that phone RIGHT now! Ear buds too. Gone!"

"Really mom? Is that how you're going to this?"

"Oh, that's not enough? I didn't take away enough to make you feel it yet? Ok, I want ALL of the stuff I bought you yesterday. Everything!"

"Whatever, I haven't formed an attachment to it yet."

"Fine, I'll take the stuff you did form an attachment to. Pick out an outfit, 1 pair of pants, 1 shirt. NOW!"

Grabbing her arm and throwing her into her bedroom, she started to cry instantly but picked out one outfit.

"Great! See this outfit?? You're going to get real comfy with it because for the next month, this is ALL you're going to be wearing."

Now here I am, silently crying out on the balcony so she can't hear how upset I feel.

what started all this?

It all started when I came home from the gym this morning and found my cute little kitty waiting for me the door. I picked her up, listened to her purr for a minute, and headed down the hall to wish the Spawn a happy Easter.

Glaring at me, she curled her lips and sneered "What?!? What!!"

"Tillbot and I want to give you a hug and wish you a happy Easter!"

"Oh my God, get away from me...."

And, that was it. I saw my lifetime of motherhood flash before my eyes and any composure I once had was gone. I morphed into a raving lunatic throwing packages of underwear down the hall and screamed.

I'm pretty sure this feeling I'm feeling, right this very moment, is the feeling of my heart shattering into a million little pieces.....

I don't think it can ever be the same again.
24 Comments
The Friday Fuckits
Posted:Apr 3, 2021 3:19 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2021 3:02 pm
5691 Views
It was a ROUGH day Friday.



I got very little sleep Thursday night as the Downstairs Nightmares were loud as fuck all night long.

The new apartment manager is gone already which means our complex is temporarily being managed by someone out of Flint.

Flint.... Yah.

Can't really pop into a Flint office and drop off my written complaint very easily, seeing as how they only accept written complaints now. This means the fucktards can run rampant without fear of violation

I'm pretty sure I was a borderline psychotic all day Friday. It didn't take much for me to cross that line between fine and complete, mental breakdown....

Begin Scene

"Hey, what's up?"

"I forgot my name badge at home today, can I use my spare badge?"

"This is the THIRD time this week! You are the fifth person today who has 'forgotten' their badge and I've had to either make a new one or give them their spare. At the very minimum it takes 5 minutes of me dinking around with a name badge just so you won't get in trouble for not having a badge. Including you, so far that's been a half hour of my day."

And, this is where the mental breakdown comes into play....

"Your spare name badge isn't in the book. You know what that means, don't you?"

Ugh... I think I might see some tears....

"Um, that I used my spare name badge and didn't bring it back?"

"Yah, you did. Good luck with that. I suggest you find one or both of them because if I have to order a new badge from imaging, I'll have to charge you."

Slamming the 500lb book shut loudly enough that it echoed down the hall, I turned my back and put it away.

End Scene

I was pissed off yesterday but now I feel bad for the . I don't normally do stuff like that, that was completely out of character for me. I'm surprised people weren't chucking snicker bars at me hoping for my smiley office girl persona to return.

Needless to say, the moment I got home last night my head hit that pillow and I was out.

Another scintillating Friday night!!
15 Comments
Toilet Brush Confidential
Posted:Apr 1, 2021 3:38 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2021 9:26 pm
5743 Views

I was brushing my hair into a bun after work last night when I heard the Spawn's voice chiming in behind ...

"Ew! I can't believe you're using that brush."

"Why?"

"It was in the toilet!"

"What do you mean it was in the toilet?? When was it IN THE TOILET??"

"I dropped it in there when I was packing last week. I think I forgot to tell you."

Well, isn't that fucking fantastic! I've been combing my hair with a fucking toilet brush week.

"Forgot tell ?!? Yah, right! Well, I forgot tell you that you now live with your dad. Pack your bags, you're taking the toilet brush with you."

If looks could kill, she'd have X's for eyes, I swear to God.

She's lucky I love her....

Happy Thursday!
29 Comments
I couldn't sleep this morning....
Posted:Mar 31, 2021 3:24 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2021 9:30 pm
5618 Views
So, I made cheesesteak stuffed peppers!

What better way to start your day than an hour long ordeal involving raw meat, onion tears, and the smell of burning green pepper!





As harrowing as that ordeal sounds....

The finished product looks AMAZING!



And THIS, my friends, is the reason why I'm the chubby girl who has to go to the gym every day...

Happy Wednesday!
27 Comments
Full Moon Crazies
Posted:Mar 30, 2021 2:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2021 7:44 pm
5509 Views
It's that time again....



Cars are getting egged in the parking lot, my ex husband is sending my Middle over with lasagna and cookies for my dinner, and I'm getting into arguments with people I work with about stupid shit.

It's the full moon crazies, I tell ya!

Last night at the gym I had the misfortune of having to use the treadmill next to Sweaty Armpit Guy, once again.

Let me tell you, this guy is a real peach!

Not only did I get to see him shirtless but I also got the added bonus of watching him wipe his entire shirtless torso with moist towelettes between machines.

It is a sight I cannot unsee.

Happy Tuesday!
17 Comments
I've gotta be honest....
Posted:Mar 29, 2021 3:34 am
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2021 3:32 am
5627 Views
I'm leaning more toward ocean.



Just saying...

I fell asleep in an odd position last night.

Do you ever find the moment you get warm and comfy and snuggled in for a good movie you fall asleep in the blink of an eye?

Happens to me often!

I awoke at 3 o'clock this morning still propped my pillows. The tv had shut itself off during the course of the night but I could see a light coming from somewhere just out of reach of my right hand.

, that's right.... I'd been texting back and forth with someone when I probably just 'disappeared'.

Leaning forward, I experienced that crippling moment of first movement after sleeping awkwardly for a period of hours.

Fantastic!

A game of Candy Crush was open on my phone and I'd woken from a dream where I had kissed Nose Hairs. I could almost still feel the wetness of his lips upon my own....

Then I happened notice my kitty pawing at the game of Candy Crush.

Well, that explains how the game was remaining active....

Did it also explain the realism of that kiss?? You know how sometimes stimuli that's happening in real life can affect the outcome of a dream???

Ack!!

I'm choosing believe a dream is just a dream and no cats were licking my lips while I slept.

Ugh, what can I say, it's a Monday....
26 Comments
If you could read my mind....
Posted:Mar 28, 2021 9:46 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2021 3:51 am
6562 Views

I just love this song Gordon Lightfoot.

If you could read my mind right now, you'd be lost in my thoughts, I'm afraid. There's a lot going on in there today.

I received this ice breaker message yesterday...

When you’re getting your pussy ate, do you prefer to be on your back with your legs spread wide on either side of my face, or bent over with your face in a pillow with your ass in the air for me to spread those big ass cheeks apart so I can bury my face in that ass for a taste?
3/28/2021 1:23 am


Doesn't that just make you weak in the knees??

Personally, I'd rather not have someone's face buried in my ass. At some point, I'd like to kiss those lips and.... Yah, that's not going to happen if I know it's been there.

Just saying....

But, it made me wonder. Do men really think this way? When you see a woman for the first time, are these the types of first thoughts that are running through your mind? When you talk to women, is this what you're picturing?

I talk to a lot of guys during the course of a regular day.... I'm kind of curious how much sexual fantasy goes on behind the scenes that I'm unaware of.

Is it a prevailing theme even in such entities as my former Work BFF, or... work conversationalists such as Nose Hairs? Is this the driving force behind his need to chat with me any spare moment he has?

I'm a curious mind....
35 Comments
where does the secret_lade go when she's out of town?
Posted:Mar 27, 2021 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2021 3:50 am
5517 Views
She goes to Bay City!



I decided to turn my journey downstate into a mini adventure and spend the night in Bay City so I could see the sights today.

It was amazing.

I'd never been to Bay City before, I played the part of tourist well!

There is no driving faux pas I DID NOT make!

God bless the soul of the woman who alerted to the fact that I was trying to turn the wrong way down a one way street.....

What the hell is this 'one way street' shit all about, anyway?!?

Egads....

I have to say, there is something about that town that speaks to me... They've definitely got a sense of humor down there.



Who couldn't love the pictorial images meant to keep us safe! Something tells me though, if the sidewalk is icy, you won't be able to see the warning...



I was walking along of Riverwalk Pier when I happened across this lovely dedication along the way. It made me smile and wonder just what she was like in real life... I think I would have liked her, I would want to fish with her and feel loss knowing that I cannot.



The most surprising moment of my was when I happened across one of my former coworkers while I was and about shopping during the . The phrase 'small world' is never lost on ... Who else can find themselves an hour and a half from home and run into people they know?

Truth be told, it did kind of feel good to see someone I knew.

Alas, I am home once again and my adventure has come to a close. I would definitely like to revisit that Riverwalk Pier during the summer, I think it would be beautiful.

Until then, happy Saturday!
21 Comments
Things that make you go hmmmmm.....
Posted:Mar 26, 2021 6:33 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2021 4:56 pm
5585 Views
When you need an advanced engineering degree use the sink in your bathroom....



Current status: Pajamas soaked. Water everywhere. Avoiding sink.

Wish me luck.
34 Comments
Why??
Posted:Mar 26, 2021 2:21 am
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2021 2:22 pm
5183 Views

Have you ever agreed to something then think to yourself later.....

For the love of GOD WHY??

Yah, I find myself doing that ALL the time.

The Spawn had been bugging me all day Wednesday to let her spend spring break with her BFF who lives downstate.

Downstate!

That means, meeting half way, an hour and a half drive, just to meet the other mom and drop her off. That also means, another hour and a half drive back all by myself.

After work.

On a Friday!

Ugh!!!

"I haven't seen her since last summer Mom.... I'll take out the garbage! [Other Mom] already said yes."

Damn you Other Mom!!

Why must I be a loving mom who wants her to enjoy their childhoods and have opportunities to get out and experience life?!?

Why??

"Oh my God! Ok!"

How could I say no to that sad, pleading little face. It literally made her whole day. I should be rejoicing in the fact that I'll be Spawn free for a week....

No snack wrappers and Capri Sun juice pouches strewn everywhere....

No angry retorts when I ask her to pick up her garbage....

No complaints of 'I'm bored'....

No random jump-scares as she pops out from behind doors and out of closets to yell boo....

I'm just REALLY not looking forward to that three hour drive tonight after working all fucking day. That also means I'll have another three hour drive on the day I have to pick her up, too.

Ugh... Happy Friday!
22 Comments
Ghost?
Posted:Mar 25, 2021 2:39 am
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2021 6:02 pm
5874 Views
I was scanning through the photos of the Mission Point Lighthouse that I took last weekend....

And I happened to notice something.

I had taken two nearly identical photos moments apart. The first photo had a couple of guys step out into the photo just as I had taken it. Realizing what they'd done, they stepped back and let me take a second photo.

We laughed, and I thanked them, and thought nothing of it....

Until now.

I was scanning through the photos, trying to decide which ones I would like to print, when I decided to zoom in on the lantern room on one of them thinking it would make a cool picture....

And I saw this.



The lighthouse had been closed the day we were there, it was close to 7 o'clock on a Saturday night. Was there a person inside, unbeknownst to the rest of us??

So I zoomed in on the lantern room of the other photo I took, only seconds apart.



Yah...

That freaked me out a little.

Here are the original full size photos I took, if you look closely you can still see the person in the window. I did crop out the two guys who happened to step into my photo when I took the first one, but other than that, both are untouched.


Without the person in the window.


With the person in the window.

Crazy, huh??
35 Comments
Pardon my bloody stumps.....
Posted:Mar 24, 2021 3:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2021 2:33 am
5452 Views

I've been doing a lot of anxiety filled small talk lately and....

Yah, I'm not good at it.

It seems I've picked up a new tick for an anxiety outlet. Picking at my fingernails and cuticles. I didn't even notice it until yesterday when I was talking to Deputy Don and the new guy who will soon be his replacement.

So much newness at work now...

I was idly discussing where he was coming from and what his background was when I felt a pain in my right index finger. Glancing down, I saw a small drop of blood forming in the corner of my cuticle where I'd apparently been picking at it with my thumb.

"Ouch! What did you do?"

"Um, I'm not sure. I think I was just absently picking at it."

That's when I noticed... ALL of my fingers looked like they had fallen victim at some point or another. Each finger had a tiny little sore spot where I'd absently rubbed the cuticle and picked at it until it eventually became an issue.

Classy!

Thankfully we're living in a world where just the thought of shaking someone's hand sends shivers down your spine now!

People would be recoiling in disgust when I tossed out my leper paw to shake!

"You need to stop doing that."

No shit Sherlock....

"Easier said than done."

I need to start working with my office door closed before I find myself left with nothing but bone tips.

Happy Wednesday!
17 Comments

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