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What's up. I fucked up. PSA sort of
Posted:May 17, 2021 8:56 pm
Last Updated:May 19, 2021 3:34 pm
1048 Views

Hey.

It's been awhile, I haven't written anyone, even outside of this website. YOU strange freaky people are 50/50 with my family for whom I have written the most. Possibly more.

BOY HAVE I got some stories to tell! I'm not going to though, because that's effort and work and I'm fkin lazy.

Well, maybe one. This is a cautionary tale, embarrassing FOR SURE. Like, got dang. I'm supposed to be a smart person, right? WELL, no girlfriend for SEVEN and then my random hookups weren't doing it for ago. SO. It has been a minute since I got some. Really no one blame but myself, but I'd love blame someone else, ya know?

OK so what happened? (You will probably think less of me for this story, but there is one extremely important lesson to be had from it)\(well, several maybe but I'm not smart enough to get the other ones)

I was walking down the street
When out the corner of my eye
I saw a pretty little thing approaching me
She said "I've never seen a man-
Who looks so all alone
Could you use a little- company?

And if you the right price
Your evening will be nice
And you can go and send on my way"
I said, "You're such a sweet young thing
Why you do this yourself?"
She looked at and this is what she said

There ain't no rest for the wicked. End quote.

I matched with a 'girl' on this app "Hinge", recommended by a friend. We talked on that for a couple days, then we switched whatsAPP. At some point, she said something sexual that really turned me on. I let my dick take over(oops). Ten seconds later, I'm sending dick pics.

WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TIPOFF (if I were not such a horny MF) IS THAT GIRLS DON'T WANNA SEE YO' DICK(this is also funny, because all I have are DICK PICS on my profile, but this is a blessing- more on that later). I thought, "I got a real nympho here!" Or some BS that was, well, BS. Pics seemed legit, conversation had turned hard sexual at this point, and my dick had fully whipped up around my neck and choked the sense out of my head. It doesn't happen often but damn when it does.

We send our texts back and forth for almost four days. I sent 'her' a full body pic with my dick and my face. THIS. THIS THIS THIS. This was the ultimate error. I've been at this internet game for fifteen fkin and I never thought I'd be got like this. Shithead got .

I woke up leisurely on a lazy Sunday, and who doesn't wake up hard? Bitch ass mo'fduckas amirite? SO I a pic of my hard dick and smiling face and send it her. Casual banter ensues, and I settle down with my coffee read some internet sheeeit.

'She' knows I'm just chilling with my coffee, and after our sensual conversations, pic exchanges, and general sexual escalation- drops the bomb.

A picture, sent back . Of my pictures, my facebook, my employer, all on one JPG OR WHATEVER THE FUCK FILE STYLE IT WAS. I had let all this information flow from freely, and that is a dick strangling brain ass move. 'She' said she would send that picture (which had the of my name, statements that I was a nudist and a pervert, where I worked) all my Facebook friends, family, workplace, and various places around town.

Well. HO LEE SHIT was I... upset? It wasn't like a panic attac I deleted my facebook at once (yeah, fuck you commies I'm better off without you anyway), and pondered on talking my family and my employer.

I left my house and went outside, I was shaking. I was nervous. I had never been blackmailed before. *Hank Hill* I tell you whut, it's no fun. SO I called the local Bureau of Investigation. closed on Sunday. WELL THEN. I call the Sheriff, as I am at a loss. Whomever answered the phone that day- you heard my whole story. A deputy was dispatched to head out my way, and talk with me.

Now, I came back inside. My parents were visiting, and staying with me. To my own observations, I was visibly shaking. They were conversing with my brother in law, and generally having a nice brunch. At some point, I made it known I had a problem. I told them everything.

My mom, all like, "Were you SEXTING?!?!?" and I was like "Yeah, duh", and she was like, *face palm*. My brother in law and my dad spoke in exasperated sighs. WELL FUCK THIS shithead I am going to get out in front of this problem! My mom tried in her own way to tell me that all what was going to happen was I would suffer embarrassment, and that's about it.

I talk with them for a few minutes waiting for the deputy, then he's sighted in the driveway.

I exit the house, and greet the fine gentleman. He disarms me, and I don't care. Only knives, but whatever- I have a SERIOUS burden on me now, not any other shit. I tell him the whole story. An important part being that I saved my entire conversation from this 'girl' (whom I believed at the time to be a 28 year old female)- pictures included. I said I'd cooperate fully if we can arrest this person and stop them from doing this to other people.

The nice man takes my story, calls a couple other folks (this is apparently, not a very common call to respond to), and in the end, tells me the same thing my mom was trying to say but much more plainly. You aren't a celebrity. You are good with your job, and that will be the worst of it- you will be embarrassed for a minute here(It helps that I have a good relationship with my employer, being that I do a good job and never call out, EVER). Worst thing on my mind is SEX OFFENDER.

"Was it a ?"
'GOOD LORD NO!!!! I THOUGHT THIS 'CHICK' WAS 28!!!!'
"Well then you got nothing worry about, just a few rough days a work is all."

While all this is happening, blackmailing SOAB was blowing up my phone telling paypal them or ELSE. Deputy heard my phone go off and said, "You can take that if you need ," and I was like, "Nah that's this person harassing ."

The Deputy left, after his buddy came by offer him advice, and the information got sent a detective who followed up with later in the wee Nothing new add about that.

AFTER the Deputy left, I called my boss, got a voicemail, and left a message on the overview of the situation. THEN. I went mow the lawn, cuz that needed be done. Boss called back while I was mowing, more concerned about how I was doing than anything else (in a voicemail, I called him back and filled him in more completely).

After I was a little more calm, my conversation with the blackmailer went sort of like this(paraphrased from memory):

BM: I will send this all your friends and family and everyone will know

RDX: Know that I have a big dick?

BM: Yes

RDX: *shrug*

BM: Everything you will have worked for will be gone

RDX: Well, no, not really

BM: I will post this on facebook and twitter

RDX: That's against their rules, you are not allowed post pornographic photos on a medium minors use.

BM: No you are wrong

RDX: *virtual shrug*

BM: Blogs love this sort of content *short clip of me stroking my dick in the mirror*

(yes I did that, I'm a fckin stooopid)

RDX: Well, yeah, adult blogs but... not like, everyday hard news blogs. Again, explicit content. (BREAKING NEWS! MAN WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMAN THAT HAS HAIRY PUSSY! FILM AT ELEVEN!)

Shortly thereafter, I blocked them and got on with my life.

LESSONS:

DON'T put your face and your dick in the same photo.
*THIS can NOT be stressed enough* IF you've got a vagina, substitute that for dick*

DON'T tell someone where you work
DON'T tell someone your full name.

I mean like, JFC, you'd think I would have got this all by now. That whole experience made me feel stupid as f8ck for breaking these rules. All because I haven't got some in awhile and I let my dick choke me out.

As if I didn't have enough problems already. (with females and relationships, aside from those things my life is actually amazing and I am luckier than a multi-million lottery winner).

I told my buddy one time, "HEY!? You know I'm like, the luckiest person ever? Except with females."

"Maybe that's why you're so lucky."

"..." "Hmmmm"

I'm sure a lot of you reading can't believe I'd be so unguarded. Maybe it's the time that wore me down, I don't know. All I know is I've left this experience red in the face (but able to joke about it, WITH MY MOM), and wiser, and it goes without saying- CAUTIOUS.

The whole ordeal killed my sex drive for damn near TWELVE HOURS. I didn't even want to think about sex! WELL you know that night I had to give it a good whack, just to relieve the stress of it all. Try and dream about them sexy women and their God given natural bodies. Yes..

Be safe out there ya'll. Learn from my stupid ass mistakes.

EDIT - sorry for a lot of the bad syntax. It wasn't like that when I wrote it! Apparently this blog still just deletes certain words. Whatever.
6 Comments
Minor complaints with site/messenger update
Posted:Apr 29, 2019 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2020 1:57 pm
3259 Views

I don't like the new . It was fine a couple of hours ago! You use something remains unchanged for a decade or more and then BAM. I take a shower and back and it's all changed. I can't see the distances anymore! No more taglines! No more what kind of person they're looking for! No more profile blurb before it cuts out!

I on information underload!

It looks like the mobile phone version, so maybe it will sync us computer users with those folks better. Maybe now I can send chick my webcam!

I don't like I can't see the last time the people whom I have viewed were online. Some of those profiles are three plus months ago, and 's just helpful information when you're chasing a picture on the internet.

IS ALL.

Well. All I immediately noticed.

-------------------

ALSO extremely unhappy with the blog dropping my words. I wonder how many of my posts are just riddled with nonsense now because I haven't gone back to , , go, , certain contractions, other seemingly random words.
7 Comments
Plenty of Catfish
Posted:Apr 28, 2019 11:38 am
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2020 11:22 am
3072 Views

An exchange from the POF website, continued into on phones. WELL she emailed first, without looking my profile, and called handsome. Red flag! Jeez, some people. Her username: dvanessa(located in Maynardville, TN). It begins:

dvanessa: Hi handsome how are you doing

Me: Hey, doing alright. A little chilly! What are you to?

(Five minutes go by, no response)

RDX: Any plans tonight? Want to go get drinks?

dvanessa: I dont have any plans yet

RDX: Ah, so we're getting drinks then! Where do you want to meet?

dvanessa: Well can you chat me on ?

RDX: No, I don't have . Are we going to meet tonight for drinks or not? We can exchange if we like each other afterward.

Me: I suggest Pete's Place on Maynardville highway- closer to you than me, but it should be convenient. What do you say?

dvanessa: 985(NUMBERS)* here is my number you can there

*not posting the number. BUT HERE is where the real fun begins! Now to transcribe from my cell phone- I entered her contact as AA Fake Joanne.

: Hey, RDX from POF
Is your name Joanne or Vanessa?

Her: Hi handsome how are you doing

Me: OK, what's your name?

(a minute goes by)

?

Her: Am Joanne

Me: Great! Does Pete's Place on maynardville highway work for you, Joanne?

Her: Not really

Me: Oh, what's a good place for us to meet?

(a minute goes by)

?

(more minutes)

You there?

(minutes)

We gonna get some drinks?

(minutes)

?

Her: Am new here I stay with my uncle and his family
Hmmmmmm
Did you live alone ?
Yes I am here
Where are you right now

Me: At home. No I have roommates. Best we meet for drinks in a public place. If you don't drink we can just get food
You said you had no plans, so we going to meet tonight?

(minutes go by)

?

(minutes)

You there?

(minutes)

?

(minutes)

What's ?

(minutes)

?

(minutes)

Her: Hope you understand what saying
Ohhhhh well I guess will be next weekend so I will know what to tell my uncle before then
No
Because my uncle just got back from work right now
And you know I told you I don't know anywhere here
Nam doing pretty good and you

: Um.
Do you not have a smart phone with GPS? It leads you to the right place

Her: using an version phone

: Well let's meet somewhere you know how to get to then. A supermarket, and you can follow me to the place.
Anyplace, you name it.

Her: Okay

Me: Great! Where?
Where will I meet you tonight?

Her: I will let you know when my uncle asleep

Me: OK

Her: *sends picture of big titted in bikini, cropped from the boobs *

: Great pic!

Her: Thanks handsome

Me: Got any more?

Her: I wish I could get you more but I don't have enough internet on my phone

Me: Can't just connect to WiFi at your house? It won't use your phones data

Her: We don't us WiFi
I only get a phone card at the store

Me: Ah, 's too bad.
What phone do you use?
I have a Motorola droid, and with 2gb data is $55 a month

Her: I US An version phone

: Yeah, which one?
Make/model?

Her: I do use an iTunes card with it
What your phone carrier?

: OK, who makes the phone? The brand name will be on it somewhere
Verizon

Her: I don't know my uncle gave it too me

Me: Doesn't say any brands on it? Just look all over it

Her: I check it all
But I can't find the name on it

Me: Oh well.
So when's your uncle usually go to sleep?

Her: I guess I to get a new phone without letting my uncle know
I don't know yet tired of staying with him

Me: Oh how long have you been here?
I thought you were 29 and a pharmacy tech? You should be able to afford your own place

Her: Yes but my ex let down
The reason why my uncle ask too live with him for the mine time

Me: I see. sorry to hear .
How long have you been in Tennessee?

Her: Well good
4 month now

: Cool.
Have you had a job whole time?

Her: And you
No
Looking for job

Me: I see. I've been here three

Her: Ohhhh cool
Did you live in your own house or you rent ?

: I never have trouble finding work. Nearly everywhere is always hiring. Even Hardee's starts you out $10/hour!
I rent
Sometimes I think about working fast food just for fun.
Did you go to school for pharmacy? Walmart is always hiring too. USPS is hiring everywhere right now as well- good benefits with them.
USPS starts around $12 an hour
So what TV do you like?
I just thought right now... I thought you were 29? An adult? Why can't you just go on a date? Why does your uncle to be asleep?
's really strange, know?

(several hours pass)

Jeez, the man still didn't go to sleep yet??

(the next day)

Her: Good morning RDX

(I don't respond)

(Two days later)

Her: Hello

(I don't respond)

(One week later)

Her: Good morning

: Hey, what's ?

Her: Hi honey

: Did you figure out how to get to a supermarket yet?

Her: How are you doing

: So 's a 'no', then?
Jeez, what does your uncle keep you shackled to your bed in your room?

Her: Just waking right now

: Why don't you answer my questions?

Her: A friend of mine get a phone card last night

: OK

Her: What questions is

: So you're sending more pics then?
Did you figure out how to get to a supermarket yet?

Her: No

: Jeez, what does your uncle keep you shackled to your bed in your room?

Her: No

: So what gives? Don't you food?

(minutes pass)

???
Have you figured out how to get to any public place?

Her: No, I called a friend last night too help out with anything
The problem is I don't like asking help from people

: Ok
So you don't leave your house?

Her: Where are you right now?

: home.
So you don't leave your house?
Do your legs work? You're not in a wheelchair are you?

(minutes pass)

?

Her: No lol I not in a wheelchair
Or did you want too my phone bills?

Me: No, just trying to figure out why you never leave your house
If your legs work, why don't you go out and find a job?

Her: just trying to get a new job here

Me: Yes, after four months you should have one. Practically everyone is hiring

Her: Well I will

Me: How? You don't leave your house.
You told you don't know how to get to ANY public place
After FOUR months?! Something is not right with you.
So what's ? Why don't you leave your house?

(minutes)

?

(minutes)

?

(minutes)

?
You can't be a pharmacy tech from home...

(minutes go by, and I figure I'll get them talking again)

home alone all day. Want to over?

Her: Then you can

: I don't understand... What do you mean?

Her: You said you want to over?

: I asked if you wanted to to

Her: Did you want too over

: Yeah

Her: Send your address
also tired of staying alone all the time

Me: You have a car and license?

Her: No

Me: how will you get here?

Her: I can take a bus or what did you think

Me: Bus doesn't run here
What is your address? I can there

Her: I can take a flight
running away here I don't want my uncle to know anything

: What city are you in?

Her: Gaylord, Michigan

: You told you lived in Maynardville, Tenneseee.

Her: And you

: Knoxville, TN.
Your POF profile says Maynardville

Her: Yeah, I just move down to my uncle place, because tired of staying with bitch

: So what's the address? I can go to Maynardville.

Her: You want to go to maynardville?

: Yes, to the place you are living .
You said you have been there 4 months
With the uncle.

Her: in Michigan right now
the reason why I move down to my uncle house in Gaylord
When you also don't give a fuck about
Should I give you the address?

: Lol
Sure
But... Why did you tell you've been in TN for 4 months with the uncle when you are actually in Michigan?

(minutes)

OK, you are 10 hours away. I can be there before midnight if I leave right away.

Her: What funny

: "When you also don't give a fuck about "
You've done nothing but lie to and then curse at like this. I find funny
So what's ?
You gonna send the address so I can drive to Michigan and help you escape?

(minutes)

?

(minutes)

?

(minutes)

Rats, and I thought for sure I'd get a good wife out of this.
Someone to share my 300 acre farm with and have . Oh well!
Have fun with your bitchy uncle then.
---------------------------------------------------------

THE END! (for now...)

There is this English comedian who my buddy showed me on a Ted Talk, and what he does is engage scammers while knowing they're a scam. He tries to see how far and ridiculous he can make it. James Veitch! I just looked it . He is a riot. nowhere near as good as he is, but the principle is the same. IF the scammer is busy talking to me, they're not bothering someone else who might fall for it.

Go look him , you'll laugh.

---------------------------------

Jeebus, I've had to edit this thing twice today for all the dropped words make it read all retarded. The scammer's language is naturally stupid, the typos are supposed to be in there and the broken English but DAMN- it just really loses its zing when Heated Affairs drops words out of my posts.
3 Comments
I'm a fake
Posted:Apr 19, 2019 9:07 pm
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2020 11:22 am
3283 Views

That's what she said.

She said my pictures don't real. I said, what, like my dick is of proportion to my body? She said NO, that's why I think you're fake. I don't trust you.

Ha! Wow. I've been on here a long time and this has never happened to me. She is an attractive woman, although I haven't seen her but her body is pop-culture . Hell she could be missing teeth and I'd still be down for a good time. She had lamented this one time in our brief conversations about how she was just trying to get laid and it wasn't quite working out- people are dishonest.

I think she's been burned AT LEAST once by folks misrepresenting themselves.

Her first message back to me (I wasn't even expecting one because she's got a nice body so everyone must IM her) was something like:

"You're pictures fake! Awesome!!"

Maybe it was sarcasm and I just didn't get it then. I am thinking that now that reflecting on it. That was the first time anyone accused me of being fake! I actually thought and think it's funny, but after that we did have an exchange for a couple minutes. Then she or I got offline, I forget which.

Next time, I IM her. We sort of talk a bit, I think this is the conversation where she was pissed about dishonest assholes. ALSO, she is on her phone- and I am on a laptop. The IM function is notoriously awful, and between the two there was noticeable lag, making some responses between us ridiculous. She noticed it first because she is a smart lady .

LAST time, I IM her. She's still confused about why even talking to her, and all like, " trying to fuck you, damnit!" (not in those words, quite gentlemanly if I do say so myself, but ya know?). She still doesn't trust , a fake. SO I say meet a bar or someplace nice and public?

No response. THEN, I have a great idea! I own a webcam! I tell her I have one, I'll go find it and hook it up tomorrow (it's late and tired this point, I know right where it is but I want to crash). No response. mobile (or, what?.....)

TONIGHT! GOOD FRIDAY! I got my webcam hooked up, I get nicely buzzed from my whiskey and ready to show her myself in real time because, well, shit! just trying to get laid too! A good lead is a good lead, and patient. Too patient. I'll probably die before I get some good regular sex.

Anyway, she gets on - and I send a message. Well, messages:

Hey good evening. I set up my webcam. :19 PM
Want to see? :19 PM

(she gets offline, returns)

Hey good evening. I set up my webcam. Want to see? :24 PM
just sayin' cuz it's pretty hard to fake a live stream... :29 PM
you just give the word and I'll 'send webcam' :30 PM

(she goes offline within minutes)

All delivered, none read. Oh well. It's not like I won't try again until satisfied she's not real or will absolutely have nothing to do with . I think she is real and worth chipping away .

I told her to read my blog, but who knows.

It's getting to be embarrassing for that I've been on this site for... a... decade...

Although accused of being fake is sort of... flattering?! My body is too awesome, I can't possibly be real? Is that the message getting here? Why thank you, I do believe I'll take that compliment
3 Comments
Talking to bots (robots) again...
Posted:Mar 21, 2019 1:11 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2019 6:39 am
3176 Views

Remember that fake profile a couple posts down? Abriele, 39, Newark NJ.

Well now she's 34!
-----------------------------------
Abriele, 34, Newark NJ

Tagline: Prime Time....

Status: No more games... Lets get it.

Verified AND a VIP member! No longer gold though...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

So I was feeling kind of meh today, a chilly rainy day as far as Spring goes (I hope and believe this is the last real cold we'll get this year- ending this week and warm next week and beyond). So I decided to talk to this account again! It always makes me laugh and lifts my spirits when I do. I was wondering if the handler had taken my advice to read my blog post about the account, and it didn't. Can't be bothered. So here's today's conversation:

Hey I'm bored. What're you up to? 3:45 PM
Start drinking yet? 3:45 PM
I've only had one whiskey myself. 3:45 PM

Abriele: I like Bulleit or Buffalo Trace brand whiskey 3:45 PM
Abriele: Well Hello! 3:45 PM
Abriele: Dickman!! LOL 3:46 PM

Cool, I never had those 3:46 PM
I'm mostly on Bird these days 3:46 PM

Abriele: Was just looking at the Rangers website. You a fan? 3:46 PM
Abriele: Go Rangers!! 3:46 PM

What sport is that? 3:46 PM

Abriele: So hows your Thursday going otherwise? 3:47 PM
Abriele: Miss me? 3:47 PM

eh, can't complain 3:47 PM
I'd miss you more if we would have ever gotten together\ 3:48 PM

Abriele: Im actually working right now lol. 3:48 PM
Abriele: and Im not even that drunk lol. Just horny. 3:48 PM

so, you're doing Heated Affairs from a pressurized cabin in the sky? 3:48 PM
Or did you get a new job? 3:49 PM

abriele: Im from all over really. My dad traveled so i grew up all over.. But I ended up in Newark on my own. 3:49 PM

That's nice, but what's your job now? 3:49 PM

Abriele: Im not really here at Heated Affairs much anymore. I may close my account here soon. 3:49 PM
Abriele: it kinda sucks 3:49 PM

Sure does. 3:49 PM
What do you do for a living? 3:50 PM
Last I knew you were a flight attendant 3:50 PM

Abriele: Abriele.net ... 3:50 PM
Abriele: more interactive lol 3:50 PM

OH you're a camwhore now?! 3:56 PM
That's awesome! 3:50 PM
good for you. 3:50 PM

Abriele: Hey you need to join my fucking fanclub so we can stay in communication. The chat is better there as you probably know lol. 3:51 PM

I bet you can make a lot more money there than doing an actual job 3:56 PM

Abriele: So I like to have sex on my site every so often as you may have seen. I usually pick a fan. If you have a clean STD test and dont mind others watching..... 3:51 PM
Abriele: Dickman could be my stunt cock. lol 3:51 PM

yikes, I don't think so 3:51 PM
I'm not into that kind of thing. 3:52 PM

Abriele: Ever make porn movies with girls? Its fun. 3:52 PM
Abriele: Hot. 3:52 PM

No, I don't like to be on camera. 3:53 PM
I'm a very private person, as you can see by my penis picture. 3:53 PM
Although I do have the dick for it, amirite?!? 3:53 PM
Voyerism? Is that it? No that's when you watch... uh uh dang it's on the tip of my tongue 3:55 PM
Exhibitionism! 3:55 PM
No, not my thing at all. Way too shy. 3:55 PM
Dang are you done talking to me already... 3:56 PM
-------------------------------
Hey you still there? 4:26 PM
I thought we were having a nice conversation. 4:26 PM
So when did you quit the flight attendant gig? 4:27 PM
Also the last time I talked to you, you were 39. 4:28 PM
When did you become 34? 4:28 PM
Just curious, you know. If you've got the anti-aging secret, I WANT IT! 4:28 PM
Not giving it up easy huh? 4:32 PM
You want I could fuck you for the secret?!?! 4:33 PM
That's a fair trade, right? my dick for the fountain of youth 4:33 PM
no, not good enough for you? 4:34 PM
What if I also throw in some smoked gouda, say, about 1 pound. 4:35 PM
That's got to be tempting. 4:35 PM
TELL ME you're not into CHEESE?!! 4:35 PM
What are you, a communist? 4:35 PM

Abriele: But serioulsy I may be closing my Heated Affairs account. You know where to find me if I do. and you better 4:36 PM
Abriele: And think about my offer 4:36 PM

YOU think about MY offer! 4:36 PM
1 pound! Plus the sex! 4:37 PM
1 comment
3 Chat Initiations Left
Posted:Jan 22, 2019 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2021 3:15 am
3076 Views

I don't think that word means what they're using it as.

Whenever I, as a standard member, ACCEPT, a chat- it removes one of my free chats for the day.

A small price to , but couldn't they at least change the word and be honest about it?

3 Free Chats Left (regardless of who INITIATED it)

Instead, they lie, and I just become annoyed.

HELL, this one time I wrote to Heated Affairs tech support and told them! They said, and I quote, "We'll look into it."

HAHAHAHA!!!!

OK that may not be an exact quote, it was awhile ago, but you get the drift!
0 Comments
Sandy and Eric (Fiction)
Posted:Oct 7, 2017 5:17 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2019 3:28 pm
4453 Views

So we gots here a new erotic fiction! Because this one touches on age taboo, I must say: Any and all likenesses of these characters to real people is entirely coincidental, if not entirely in your feverish mind. This is entirely a made up story.

I had a couple ways of this one playing out, and jeez, I just sat here for four hours and this is what I got. If you liked it, great! If you have suggestions for making it better (story line, alliteration, better words, better images, better desciptions, etc.)

Any comments welcome, although I would appreciate it if you tried to be constructive with your criticisms instead of merely critical. (never a problem here before, ya'll are nice readers, just sayn'.

So without further ado, Sandy and Eric:

He was here. She saw his silver car pull up along the curb outside, and recognized it immediately. Her guitar tutor. He was six years older than her, and she had fallen for him the first time they met. Six months later, she had a ritual; On the days he came for the lesson, she waited by her window until she saw him- then before he got to the door she quickly changed from her school clothes into smaller clothes so she could reveal herself more easily.

Today she picked a powder blue t-shirt with close cut sleeves that had a smiling cloud on front, and a tight pair of jean shorts. She had come downstairs and stood behind the front door, watching him stride up the walk. She loved to take these small seconds to herself, watching, fantasizing, before his presence was known to her parents and she had to hide her feelings. She loved her parents very much, but was at that awkward point where boys her own age were stupid and shy, and she had begun to feel the need of attention...

He knocked, three quick as he usually did. She pulled open the door almost immediately, and greeted him in a small, smooth voice, "Hello."

"Hi Sandy!" he replied enthusiastically, "How's it going?"

"I'm doing fine, thanks," She smiled warmly, "Come in."

He came into the familiar living room, and her Bubsy came bounding in from the study. Her father was behind him, coming out to greet and talk to him for a minute- he was like that; Everyone wanted to talk to him and hang out with him- and he was happy to oblige. He liked to talk to everyone, and was very warm and welcoming. Just one of the many things she liked about him.

He talked to her father in the living room for a minute, and then joined her in the connected dining room. She was retrieving her instrument and homework, and he sat down and began his tuning process. Their lesson spot was a little awkard- the dining room table. The chairs were good, they sat 90 degrees from one another with the rounded corner of the table between them. The books lay open on the table in front of her, and his extra stuff in front of him.

"So did you get to practice this week?" His regular line of questioning.

"Yea, I did- only three days though. I've been busy with the marching band after school, and choir on the weekends."

"That's great!" He would have been dripping with positivity even if she'd only played for five minutes in the past seven days. "You keep it up, and you'll really get places with this music stuff!"

She watched his hands as he spoke to her- twisting pegs and plucking strings. He wasn't actually looking at her, much to her chagrin. Then he did, look up, straight into her big blue eyes. She felt her stomach tighten, and her head fluttered a little bit. She regained herself just as he asked, "Did you have any questions on the homework?".

"No."

She shook her head lightly and smiled. Then she saw what she'd been waiting for- her father returned to his study with the dog, and would not be back out until Eric was leaving. He would get engrossed in his games, he loved RPGS in his retired years, and those things suck you in for hours. She thought about sucking for hours...

"OK, so lets start with our regular warm ups!" His voice snapped her out of her daydream. He grabbed her folder off the table, and produced the sheet of arpeggios. She held the guitar in its correct position with it resting on her left leg, with left foot raised onto the low part of the chair next to her. It happened to be the perfect height for her.

"Start at the top, number one, and we'll do each one four times- no metronome, just a comfortable warm up." She began playing, and he matched her speed. Sandy focused on her fingers, and felt a momentary flush in her cheeks. She glanced quickly and saw he was watching her left hand, studying the technique.

He could tell she was really practicing. Her hand shape was looking real good, and she was moving with much greater ease than she had been just weeks ago. He noticed a happy cloud peeking at him on her shirt from behind the guitar. He quickly readjusted his gaze to her right hand, and watched her pluck arpeggios. Her hands were not small and dainty, but they were slender and strong. They had the same shape and look of his own, just in a feminine size.

"Very good! It looks and sounds great! I can tell you've been working hard, even if it wasn't every single day. Sometimes it is good to break routine for a week, as well. Let your mind readjust."

I'll get your mind to readjust, she thought. "Thanks," she said shyly. Then she set her guitar in rest position, shuffled the next exercise page out of the folder, and set it down. He was watching her with that sweeping look that seemed as if he saw everything. Now, she thought. She stretch her right arm up, the small sleeves pulling back to reveal her small, gentle puff of pubic hair under her arm. She saw him look right at it, but he quickly looked away. He didn't realize she was staring into him. She brought her arm down and resumed her practice, smiling inwardly to herself. Perhaps even letting it show slightly on her face...

He didn't know what had just happened. She did something that distracted him from his work, from music. She merely stretched, and in that one motion he saw the beginning blossoms of womanhood, and from that simple image his own mind had raced elsewhere. I'm a bad man, he thought as he mentally slapped himself and corrected his eyes.

The lesson ended as it usually did, with assignments and his endless preaching about practice and metronomes. She was sad it would be another week before she saw him, but now she knew she could push further. He would be hers. Patience, as he always said. Patience.

-------

The day rolled around, and his car appeared outside their house. She was ready already, this time choosing a tie-dye woman's T with her regular jean shorts. She opened the door right as he crested the top step, and he chuckled lightly.
"Been waiting long?" he asked.

"No." She smiled. When she did her face lit up, he thought. She really is very pretty... NO! She's too young, our relationship is that of teacher and student- be professional! Yea, or go to jail! Christ I can't believe I have to rationalize the right thing to do.
He thought this now, but he hadn't let these same thoughts prevent him from fantasizing about her other mysteries. He wondered if she did it on purpose, but brushed that thought aside as she couldn't be old enough to gain experience unless... it was just instinct? Aren't we animals, after all?

"Eric, good to see you!" Mr. Truschle's hearty voice shook him back to reality, and he seized his hand in a hearty shake.

"You as well, sir!"

Sandy could hear them exchanging pleasantries in living room, and Bubsy wandered in for his ritual greeting. She felt an idea burst into her mind, and it made her heartrate skip up some. She grabbed her music folder off the table and put it off to the side of the room, and hid it behind the waiste-high shelf. Then she pulled her shorts an inch lower than their resting level, leaving a half inch of her butt exposed under her shirt. She sat down carefully to avoid rustling her work.

Eric came in with her father, and sat down. Mr. Truschle said, "Hey, I've got to run a few errands and I won't be back in time to pay you- so here's money now. Have a good lesson, see you later!" He walked off with his keys jangling, and a minute later they heard his car fire up and drive off.

"OK, so lets begin, shall we?" He always took command when it was time, and liked to get down to business. "Where's your folder?" She could not believe her luck at the situation. Her heart was racing with anticipation. She took a beat and inwardly composed herself.

"Oh, I think it was over here," she demured. She lightly got up, carefully walked over, and looked. "Hm, it was here last night..." She looked around acting confused. Then she said, "Maybe..." as she bent over the cabinet to peek behind.

He was watching her the whole time with disinterest, until she bent over. She was facing directly away from him, and when she bent her shirt pulled up to reveal her pale skin and the top inch of her butt was cracked there... His eyes fastened to it instantly- devouring details. She was covered in a light fuzz, and the shadow of her crack seemed to call to him. The way her ass was so perfectly shaped- it wasn't round, but it was rounded.

She hoped he was enjoying her show. He hadn't said anything, there was just the quiet hum of the central air running through the house. A light went on. She carefully, slowly- so he wouldn't notice- pushed herself forward. The moment came.

"Oh no!" She cried as she toppled forward off balance. It hurt more than she intended, as the front of her upper legs became the pinpoint on the corner of the cabinet for all of her body's weight. It was only a second, as he had acted immediately.

She felt him move up directly behind her, grab her, and gently yet firmly pull her out from between the cabinet and the wall. There was resistance, and she realized her jeans waist was caught on the lip- she reached to free it and...

"OOF!" He wasn't ready for the sudden release, as she popped off the furniture like a champagne cork- tumbling backward and landing on him against the carpeted floor.
"I'm so sorry!!! Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, are you OK?"

"Yes." They both stood up and dusted themselves off. When she finished she realized he was looking down at her shorts. She looked down, and saw what he was staring at. When she popped the clothing loose, it had also unbuttoned, but it remained zipped. A brushstroke of light brown fluffy hair wisped up from underneath...

She turned, suddenly embarrassed, hands moving to reassert the fastening.
"It's OK." He said gently. "Lets get back to work."
He refocused her, and they both tried to forget the incident. For now. I'm a bad man, he thought to himself. A bad. Man.

-------

It had been two weeks since her plan at attention had backfired. Or had it? She had not bargained for all that at once. Though she could not help but relive the scene, every night. She grew more comfortable with the thought, and she felt her own needs and desires growing as well.

As he rolled up to Sandy's house, Eric thought to himself. He hadn't been distracted on this drive with music or lesson plans, he had been thinking about the girl. He felt like he wanted her now, but he was still fighting to kill that feeling. All I have to do is remain professional for half an hour, 45 minutes tops, and I'll be fine. Please, Jesus, let me get through this lesson without condemning myself to Hell.

She opened the door after his third knock, not wanting to seem too eager. She couldn't help it. She began to look at him more and more as the man he was, and imagined herself his wife. With all the duties, responsibilities, and access, of a wife. She felt she was ready. The folly of youth.

Sandy wore a completely black shirt, it was tight against her skin. It was heavier than a T, more like a dress top, but still cool and casual enough for late summer. It outlined her figure nicely, and she smiled at the thought. Her father had gone out again, and left money with Eric. She was letting him run the lessons completely now, and behaving, biding her time. She could sense his electricity, something about it had changed. He was nervous, putting on airs that he was in complete control.
Suddenly, her boobs itched. Stupid bra. She put down the guitar and grabbed her breasts, manipulating them both together and then out several times. Then she readjusted and looked up.

He was staring. She could see his cheeks had flushed red, and how he seemed to glisten with the smallest beginning of a trace of sweat.

"Sorry," she said smally, and tried a weak smile.

"It's OK," he said, and they got back to work. Just what I need, he thought. Another image like that...

"Hi! Sandy! Eric!" Sandy's mother was home! She must have gotten out of work early! Silently, Sandy cursed the sky. She had no choice but to resume practice, and let him pretend he was in control...

-------

As he arrived, the first drops of a storm were beginning to fall. Thwack! Thwack! Thwock! They were big, and was that a chunk of hale? He hurried up the walk, and saw Sandy open the door as he was.

"Hey, thanks."

"Mhm!"

Sandy moved swiftly to the dining room, as soon as she did Mr. Truschle came out of his study with Bubsy leading the way.

"Eric, the news says there's a tornado warning in effect for the area. My wife has requested that I come pick her up, so she won't have to hop the train and go through that nightmare. You know how people around here get when potential for disaster looms, and the knuckleheads on TV whip everyone into a frenzy. We've got enough food and water for the family for a week, and a generator. So we don't worry TOO much. I'll call you if anything happens, but I expect to be back in a couple hours."

"Sounds good, Mr. Truschle! I- excuse me one second." Eric had to answer his phone- more of today's were calling him.

"Oh, OK, no problem, see you next week!" He hung up. "The Shumans have cancelled the lesson today, citing the weather. They'd feel bad if I got caught up in it just for them."

"But they know your'e already out this way?"

"Yea, but they still insisted we make it up some other time. No harm no foul as far as I'm concerned. So I've got a little bit of free time now- hey- you want to do an hour today?" He was looking towards Sandy as he said that, but the question was more for those that pay the bills.

"Well, I'll leave that up to Sandy. What do you say honey?"

"Sure! I have been working on my marches and drumming and wanted to show Eric all the progress, and he could help me with those rhythms as well as get in the guitar practice."

"Sounds good! Here Eric, let me pay you for the hour," and with that, Mr. Truschle headed out the door into a darkening world.

Sandy closed the door, and locked it. Eric's back was to her, and he couldn't see her knowledgeable grin. She knew, but didn't know what she was going to do. I want to make him move first, she thought. How? He is strong, but I am young yet old enough, aren't I? Not by society's standards today, but historically...

They went through the guitar lesson as usual. Eric felt the whole time this uneasy anticipation, rising and falling moments of lust, trading with the semblance of self control. He was alone, with Sandy, for an hour. He studied her hands. They were beautiful like the rest of her, he thought. Calm yourself.

"Well that's half an hour for the guitar! You wanted to work on band rhythms from school?"

"Yea, I've been working hard on the drum marches, rhythm and marching simultaneously. Can I show you?"

"Yes, please." He turned his chair away from the table, toward the living room where the open space was. Sandy stood facing away from him, counted off, and began the high stepping march with her feet, as she counted silently and beat the rhthm out on her legs. Eric listned to her but did not watch, except out of the corner of his eye. He followed the sheet music of the rhythm. She was doing very well.

He looked up as she spun 180 degrees and kept marching. Her breasts jiggled with the impact of her feet, her face was sober with concentration. She began to move forward and backward with her steps, keeping time and rhythm. Her pattern took her directly to his right, facing behind him. Then she spun 180 degrees and was side by side with him, marching, jiggling, focused, when-

She turned her head left towards him, and blew her breath at his face. It hit him like a drug. He almost fell over. She kept marching, reached her left arm and squeezed her left breast. He saw it all 18 inches from his face.

A crack of lightning shook the house, and the rolling thunder which followed rattled the windows. Sandy actually stumbled at the unexpected clash, and fell to the floor on her right side.

Snapped back to reality, Eric was beside her. "Are you OK?"

"I think so, my ankle just gave out. It doesn't feel bad, I can walk."
He helped her up. She stood uneasily, then fell into his arms. As she held him, she inhaled deep through her nose, savoring his scent, and he helped her to the sofa where they sat down.

"I guess no more marching today," he said. He always tried to make light of the situation- it was his way of disarming tension. She could smell his body, and it was driving her mad. She was on fire. She exhaled a deep sigh towards him, relishing the instant reaction. Sandy lay back, and stretched her arms up, and again he saw her beautiful furry underarms. She toyed with her pubic hair in one hand while the other arm remained extended, her eyes on his.

"I..."

He gazed at her. Then, he was upon her- kissing her lips with the fierce tenderness of a taboo love. They inhaled each other, savoring the moments and the breaths. He lay on top of her, on the couch, and she wrapped her legs around him. As she did this, he moved and positioned his groin over hers, and she felt him swell as he began grinding.

She ran her hands under his shirt, feeling his chest and back, reaching down his pants to grasp his buttocks. She felt his large hands all over her- down her back, on her butt, gently squeezing her breasts, tracing tingles down her legs and arms...

"Oooh..." she moaned as they dry humped, feeling the momentum build... He pulled away from her lips, and they both sat up.

"Here," he said quietly as he lifted her shirt off. To her surprise, her bra came with it- leaving her perky C-cups and hard pink nipples exposed. He removed his shirt, and wrapped his arms around her drawing her close. They kissed deeply, tongues vying for control, each greedy to suck and be sucked, lick and twist and pleasure the other.
She lay back, bringing him down on top of her. They sprawled the length of the couch, entwined in a timeless moment.

Heavier now, they both were working, until he broke off from her lips, and kissed her neck. She was amazed at his sensuosness, and for the first time in months she let him regain complete control.

He moved down to her right breast, kissing each section of body along the way. Slowly he licked, and gently sucked at her nipple. He rubbed the other with his thumb, alternating between nipple play and breast squeezing. Then he switched sides and did the same for the other.

Eric was as excited as he'd ever been. Her breath and skin smelled so pure, so delicious, and now he knew that they were. He stopped sucking her left nipple, and came back up and kissed her deep. He then brought her arms up, revealing her lightly haired pits. He shoved his face in her left armpit, inhaled deeply through his nose, and licked. She tasted good everywhere, and her scent!

He continued to work lower, kissing her body all over. He was tonguing her belly button, and then he suddenly drew back, unbuttoned her shorts, and pulled them off. She gasped at her exposure, now completely naked and self conscious, she covered her vagina with her hands.

Eric chuckled as she blushed, and gently removed her hands. Her small pussy had beautiful little lips which came out just a little, and her natural hair was really coming in ernest. She had a beautiful bush, light brown and fluffy, which had the tantalizing aroma of youth.

He kissed her left inner thigh, then her right. She watched in vulgar interest as he worked his way around her hole, careful not to touch it before it was ready. He stopped, his face one inch from her beautiful kitty. She could feel his breath driving her mad. He sniffed at the glistening slit, "heaven," he thought.

She was just beginning to wonder if he'd ever pay attention when she shuddered as he spread his tongue in a wide path from low to high, a slurping, slobbering, service.
He probed her depths, and squeezed her breasts as he did. He grabbed her waiste and pressed her against his face, licking and sucking all her juices and bits. She lost track of time, everything was ecstasy. He changed his method, and suddenly it was even more intense than before. He was doing something with the inside of his lip where it was slippery and soft like...

"Aahh ohh ah aha ah ooooooooooo" she wrapped her legs around his head, and locked him in.

"oooohhh mmmmm oooo ah ah ah AAHHH!!"

Her entire body shook as she came, and she squirted all over his face. He didn't stop through it, and kept licking and devouring every bit of her that he could.
Then he stopped. He sat there on the floor for a moment, his face in her pussy. He stood up, and she gasped as she saw.

He had at some point taken his pants off, and now she saw his full manhood- handsome and erect- ready to finish what she started. He took her chin with his hand, and kissed her deeply. She tasted herself all over his mouth, and the taste lingered.

Eric liked it when he could kiss a girl and her mouth tasted like her pussy.
He pulled out of the kiss, and stood up- with his penis in her face. For a moment she wondered if she could fit it in any of her holes, but that question was answered when he gently took her head, and forced himself in.

She gagged, and he stopped- pulled it out.

"No I want it." And she took it back. "Mfhmne."

He let her go, and she began to get it. She sucked the tip slowly, and then tried to go deeper. Eric winced as he caught some teeth.

"Open your mouth like you're singing."

It worked, she got it. She fell into a rhythm, and Eric tried to match her- it worked! She actually was pretty good, once she had direction.

"Now use your tongue."

She swirled it, and he thought he might lose it right there. He pulled out of her lips, and smacked her forhead with his cock.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"I dono," he grinned, "Suck my balls," as he thrust his sack into her mouth. She obeyed, and he masturbated with what saliva she had left behind.

"Now," he said. She looked up at him, questioning. He pulled her up and kissed her, tasting his own cock- but less so than her vagina. For some reason the vagina mouth always overpowers cock mouth. Must be the juices, he thought to himself.

He lay her back down on the couch, positioning on top of her- face to face, between her legs. His hard cock lay pressed against her pussy lips, and he began a fleshy, hairy, grind. He could smell their scents becoming one, and she began moving her hips in time with his when...

He pulled back just far enough and she pushed forward with just enough force at the right time to feel his girth spread her hole in every direction, smooth, strong, a pain that she craved to know for months now.

"Owwwwoooohhhhhh" she moaned as the pain subsided, while he slowly and gently pushed deep his entire meat. Then it was in, and they were lost in each other's eyes, entwined in life and breath.

He stirred her vagina. She moaned- and then he began. Slowly at first, he pulled almost all the way out and then eased back in. She was technically a virgin, but she had experimented with some household objects before. As she relaxed, she felt safe and alive and wonder. Then she felt him pull out, and he grabbed her waiste, and thrust back inside of her.

She gasped, and he took one hand and wrapped it around her back, the other supporting him above her. He was moving quicker now, like a driving rock song. She could feel his heat, and could taste his sweat. She licked her lips, and still tasted like vagina. She didn't care. He was pounding her now, the tip of his cock coming all the way out and then entering so surely that she was sure she'd come again.

He kept going, slippa slippa slippa,slicky slicky slicky, when he suddenly tensed up, and she knew it was happened. She wrapped her legs around him quickly, trapped him again, and now she fucked him with her hips. She moved up and down and writhed in pleasure, he kissed her as he matched her motions, pumping, pumping, pumping.

She came, and she kept coming as she felt his final thrusts, the intense release of his seed into her, and the way he kept pumping it in until he finally stopped, and collapsed on top of her.

His dick was still swollen and inside of her, although it wasn't the size it was five minutes ago. He kissed her deeply, and passionately.

I think I love her, he thought to himself. I'm a bad man.

Her legs were still wrapped around him, she didn't want to let him out. All the better, because he didn't want to leave either. They stayed in their lustful reverie until she finally popped him out, his blood loss no longer able to combat her pelvic muscle.

They kissed, and snuggled, not saying anything.

Sandy was never so sure of anyone or anything like she'd been of Eric. Eric was hating himself for losing control, but he had given in... He decided that he would love her and marry her, even if he had to wait years to reveal their love to anyone.

They were laying there, on the sofa, naked, holding each other, no other thoughts or cares in the world when...

Sandy's parents walked through the front door.

"Sandy, we're home!"
5 Comments
Oi, Charlie! Kick this football, mate!
Posted:Jul 2, 2017 5:23 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2021 3:15 am
5192 Views

Seems to be the name of the game with younger women these days. BY younger I mean 20s, although 28/29 is more normal. I suppose I mean MID twenties on down.

Perhaps it is just the kind of girl attracted to that medium? Tinder, and MeetMe, and probably a billion other phone matching applications of which I am blissfully unaware. The two listed I use.

I've met girls from Tinder, had a date, and when I've think its gone well and try for a second I am speaking into the void. Why didn't you just tell me you didn't like me when we said goodbye after the first one? Why lie to me and agree when I suggest we should do it again sometime?

This is misleading and causes me to believe I'm on a good path! If you said no, why, I could wander around downtown RIGHT NOW and ogle all the pretty girls and maybe talk to some! Instead I go on my merry way thinking you're interested.

Then this other girl from meetme! I actually got her to talk back to me (wow! success!), and then we started talking, and she actually asked for my number! I gave it, and we continued texting through the evening, and at points in the days, mostly at night. I work all day so I don't really have time to mess on the phone, but when I'd get home I'd see what's up.

SO we had plans to get together one weekend, but due to her random work schedule she fell asleep on me. NO problem, we can find a time. My schedule is set so it just depends on her. We plan to meet Monday for dinner with backup Tuesday. Both days fall through. The new weekend comes, and we're supposed to get together Saturday. I had to work a half day, and had to do a chore after work.

On my way home, I sent, "on my way home" or something like that- to which she responded, "good, get home so we can formulate our plan."

I ask her what she's thinking to do? Then I rattle off my #1 free day activity- go to Ijams for a hike and a swim! She's not up to swimming yet. I say THAT'S OK! Go carts? Mini golf? Bowling?

Nothing.

I thought maybe she fell asleep again, or fell sick again(she had had a cold). Sunday passed without her responding.

Monday I asked what's up?

Nothing.

Tuesday I stated I'm confused!

Nothing.

Wednesday I asked What happened? I thought we were really getting along well and that we really would get along great in person.

Nothing.

Thursday I tell her what she's done is very mean. I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors, and hope you find what you're looking for.

Nothing.

That's OK, I was just a little saddened because we had so much in common and were talking like real people...

HOW MANY MORE TIMES?!?! TREAT MEEEE THE WAAAYYY YOU WANNAA DOOO OHHH

and

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

or

DONE DONE AND ON TO THE NEXT ONE!

If you didn't figure it out immediately- Led Zeppelin- How Many More Times and this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waEC-8GFTP4

or Foo Fighters - All My Life

What a good song. How about these lyrics!!!

All my life I've been searching for something
Something never comes never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies but I'm getting close-
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
All night long I dream of the day
When it comes around then it's taken away
Leaves me with the feeling that I feel the most
Feel it come to life when I see your ghost.

Man I got to hook up with some people and play some music this summer. I've got a good stockpile of cynical emotions- and we all know emotional turmoil makes the best music!

PS I don't know how much longer I will post here, but I really expect to wind this place down this year 2017. I've been writing my regular stories to my family, which my dad then sends out to his sisters and sometimes friends- and I've gotten good reviews and they tell me I should start a blog.

WELL IF you've read me here for however long, you got to know part of me nobody in real life has. You should feel good about that. I thank you for all your time spent on my stupid musings, bitching, complaining, rambling, and poetry. WHY? I guess it gives me an ego boost. When the numbers of my views started to climb I was amazed so many people could take an interest in my attempt at life.

You can rest assured, that when I finally get a normal blog in my real life- I'll let readers here know about it. ALTHOUGH a disclaimer I'll repeat when I do that, is please don't reference this here part of my life on Heated Affairs anywhere else. Thanks!

RDX
0 Comments
APPS FAPS N BATS
Posted:Jun 2, 2017 2:42 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2021 3:15 am
5715 Views

SO I've been out and about in the real tangible world. It is pretty awesome, I like it. STILL trying to find a nice girlfriend! EH, it's all good. Since I'm usually pretty tired when I get home from work I do what in the past we called 'applications'. An application is a program that runs on your computer!

BUT we're too stupid, or in fast paced multi-tasked lives to use the whole word, so now we say apps. I hate that. The only good thing to come out of that is that it rhymes with fap, so I can write some songs about fapping and apps, apping while faps.

ALRIGHT what's the point? WOMEN STILL CONFUSE THE SHIT OUT OF ME!

I'm on this one app known as 'meetme'. It is like tinder and POF and facebook sort of in one. It is probably the best way to just TALK directly to someone without all the bullshit- it shows you who is online and you can sort by distance, age, more if you pay!

Anway, I see this girl online who's relatively close, has a stoner tag, maybe she'll want to come hang out and blaze or roll a blunt or something?

Here is how our conversation went:

Me: You look sort of Asian in your third pic. I had to double check!
Her: OK.
Her: I'm 54 so I'm sorta short
Me: I'm 61 so I'm slightly above average.
Me: I also act like I'm 61 and yell at to git offa mah lawn!
Her: what I ain't no I'm a grown ass woman.
Her: that's thug for real.
Me: Huh?

And this is when I was blocked. I just don't get it! WTF happened there?! Did she mistake my self deprecating humor for an attack on her? Which was my next message explaining after 'huh' but never got through because blocked!

AH it's all good. I'm actually talking to a nice girl on Tinder who isn't as close as I'd like, but is real and sane. Maybe we'll hang out sometime, tried this weekend but our schedules aren't matching up.

Maybe it'll change! The weekend has yet to arrive as of this writing.

And the bat? WELL some girl on meetme had a picture of her ass in batman panties, so I texted, "nice bat-ass."

LOL

No response, but it still cracks me up. Sometimes I'll be driving and just think of a scenario and what sort of jokes could be made and I'll be laughing out loud to myself, sometimes I'll scream! My radio doesn't work. I sing to myself if I have the energy.

Nice bat ass, ha, I crack me up. She had a sweet ass, too.
0 Comments
Six Free Months! God damnit.
Posted:Jan 13, 2017 3:56 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2017 2:44 pm
7134 Views

Was slowly wiling away the days, thinking about the blog here. My gold was set to expire Jan 17 2017, I'd done a year. I logged on today, and see I got until July 17 2017!

HUH. I sort of am, how do you say- ambivalent. I guess it is nice that I get to torture myself here for another six months. (but RDX, you could just leave!)

WHAT?! WHO SAID THAT?! get out of my brain!

Yea I know, and I still might anyway!

My plan for the expiration was to go back to blog post 1- and start printing them out. Maybe there's a movie script or a good book in there somehow. I'm leaning so far towards book that I fell out of my chair.

I thought (am thinking) that once that is all printed, I will close this place down.

HEY I GOT A REAL JOB.

I don't want to say where as this isn't the proper venue. What will I do?

I'm a music teacher! SLIGHT pay cut from my personal lessons, but- brick and mortar location! No traveling! No business dealings! (the worst part of being my own business was shaking people down for money when they owed or missed a week because calendars are weird sometimes).

I love music and talking about it there were many instances where I'd be leaving 's houses and they catch me because they haven't paid me yet.

If that's how you feel about your job, AND IT PAYS THE BILLS- I dare say you may have the best life, EVAR.

No matter who you are or what you're doing.

BUT YEA so I'm going to be in a MUSIC SCHOOL (not a K-12), which is why my teaching credentials are nonexistent, and I was hired on.. wait for it.. wait for it... MERIT!!!

ooooohhhhahahahaha to be able to DO something without a piece of paper that says you can do it! THE very essence of individuality!

"kin yew dew thyat?"
*does thyat*
"YER HARD!"

Knoxville doesn't really have a noticeable southern drawl- few and far in between. We're majority transplants in this city. Which was built on Rock and Roll.

The Marble Quarry! Knoxville used to be known as Marble City. Also, there were famous bakers who provided their signature hard rolls to the riverboat pilots and crew as they transported marble.

This became a tradition as the years went on, and after the Civil War ended, with the advent of Chattanooga Iron , things began to get real heavy.

That fateful day in 1873 when the Sabbath was Blackened over by dark clouds, and lightning struck the Martin Mill Church- where none other than Nikolai Tesla was attempting to remain unnoticed while paying his respects to his former mentor- Thomas Henry Moray.

As the lightning lit the church ablaze, the sudden stormy winds blew the doors open and through the organ's bellows- and the sound which was heard there seized Tesla so magnificently that he cried out:

"Faeries wear boots!"
2 Comments
BURNED by sweetangelph41
Posted:Jan 6, 2017 11:31 am
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2017 12:01 pm
7381 Views

A pretty recent profile, created in November 2016 or around that time. Cute little asian woman in the picture, so I emailed a goofy two sentence thing not expecting anything back.

She wrote back, and it wasn't a robot! I was not convinced she was legit though. We exchanged a couple emails, and then started talking on KIK.

She seemed kind of normal, and we had decent conversations. I still was not convinced. Anyone can search for images and create a profile. Ever read any works of fiction? Authors can convincingly write in several voices, for their characters. Why is the internet any different?

There was something strange at one point- she wanted to text me (we were in KIK so this doesn't make sense to me as I consider that texting) and sent me a number, which I mulled over for a few minutes and decided I'd try. I fumbled it and texted a landline, the phone company reports back.

I corrected the number and sent a message, never got a response. I asked in KIK if she got it- she said yes I did. Then I told her my story of texting the landline, and she thought she made a mistake! Sends me a different number saying she DID. BUT I THOUGHT YOU GOT MY TEXT?!?!?!

Strange. I keep using KIK and keep the focus there. Well in our conversations she says she comes to Knoxville regularly, and that she is planning to come this week! (Jan 2-7). So I say great, lets get dinner or lunch when you're out this way!

A couple days pass, I ask her when she is planning to come out? She doesn't know.

A couple days pass, it is FRIDAY (today) !!

I text her asking when we are going to get together for dinner?

She replies something incoherent, about how she is a summer girl. I say these places usually have their heat on in the winter...

I ask if we can make plans tonight, tomorrow night, any night really, and I'll drive to your town because I like driving!

Silence.

SO I text her that I am sad because she doesn't want to meet me, good luck finding love.

She writes back good luck to me too.

So I say LOL WTF seriously? What happened?

Her responses are dodgy now.

I plainly state something like "You really wanted to meet me, and I thought we were going to get food, but you changed your mind and I don't know why?"

She said she didn't change her mind.

To which I reply, "??".

She tells me she is in a serious relationship.

OH YOU FUCKING BITCH.

I say WTF. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SINGLE. THAT IS EXTREMELY UNFAIR TO ME.

Then I blocked her. I didn't curse at her, that was my mental reaction. If you read this, Angel, fuck you- BITCH. Waste of fucking time. Fuck off, god damned.

---------------------
Update:

I have revised my opinion: I do not think she is a real person. This was their way of evading.

I had my hopes up! You see the result of that. Still a bitch, ya fucker!
4 Comments
Playing with myself again
Posted:Jan 1, 2017 3:32 pm
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2021 3:15 am
7014 Views

Since nobody really looks at my profile, I'm posting this here. It is a string of comments on my status, that I FIND entertaining. You may hate it and find it totally unfunny!

Kurt Vonnegut taught me I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING. Edited to be in the correct order (so you don't have to read bottom to top like regular comments for KRONOS).

SO WITHOUT further ado:

Status: Happy New Year!

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
It will be if I can get laid!

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
So far the new year shall be wrought with peril!

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
A rift of epic monetary proportions!

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Remunerative skills BE DAMNED!

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
PIPE DOWN IN THE COMMENTS I'M TRYING TO BE SEXY HERE

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Ok no I'm not.

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Although I do like the new profile pic!

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Thanks! Don't you wish everyone would update their photos?

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
I know right! Smart phones?! HELLOOOO!!

rdx37 31M
23 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Your abs SUCK

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Well that was uncalled for! I'll make them better this year, I swear!

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Not if you keep pounding hershey bars, fatass.

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
PFF attitude like that, we'll see if you even get a handjob later tonight.

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
HA who are you kidding, you'll probably beat off before you even go to the party

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
SHUTUP!

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
It helps me focus more!

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
I think you're just a depraved individual! What would Halestorm say- SICK!!!

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
You call me a bitch like it's a BAD THING

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
If you've got the fire, I've got the ice. HYDRAULICCCSSS

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
So if you're hot and I'm cold, you should be on the bottom for that natural pressure/heat transfer

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Just imagine a hydraulic orgasm!

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
I don't think people work like that, unless you're having sex with a corpse.

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
WELL THERE GOES MY FUN.

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
So, any sexy corpses want to hang out later?

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
I think we'd get along!

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Compromise! Any live girls who believe they'd make a sexy corpse want to hang out?

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
WTF DUDE this should have been a halloween joke conversation now everyone just thinks you're creepy

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
What-EVAR

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
OK shower time TTYL.

rdx37 31M
22 hours ago
Knoxville, TN
Bye.
0 Comments

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