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Will I Ever Learn?  

kcclaire0923 67F  
415 posts
3/11/2018 2:46 pm
Will I Ever Learn?

Well. six months later here I am back again in blog land reading and sharing with fellow bloggers opinions, questions and real life experiences. I have been quite distracted these past few months with the same person I met from here back in 2012. But I am confident this time that we have finally come to the realization that we are finished and will move on. Here it is in a nutshell.

This person is married and was upfront about that from the beginning telling me that it is a very "complicated" marriage. But of course the standard "we have been together too long" "the sex is boring" "she doesn't understand me" "we sleep in separate rooms" "but we promised we would aways take care of each other" I made the choice to overlook all of this. I enjoyed a very deep sexual close connection with this person since 2012 but on HIS schedule of course. Many times over our scheduled meetings had to be cancelled for one reasonable or another. I was disappointed but always allowed him to make it when he could. I supplied the wine and food most times; occasionally he would bring a bottle of wine but not often. He always said he would "try" to see me on this day or "try" next week. I always agreed....Why? I was in love with this man all well knowing I could never have him for my own. We were never seen together outside my front door in the light of day. I was only given two small gifts from him over the years from a couple of his business trips. Never flowers or a card or anything special from him. He always showed up empty handed.

His last visit with me was a day during the week of Halloween. After that it was one excuse after another. I would get "I have to work a lot of hours." "A family member has the flu.""I have to travel for my job for a week." "My car transmission is out and it will be expensive to fix so I have to save for it." Weeks would go by and I wouldn't hear from him. Our primary form of communication is FaceBook messenger which by the way HIS is locked so no one can follow him or see his page or his friends, including his wife. No phone calls or text messages with me because there is a slight English language barrier for him. Soooooooooooo.......

I received a message from him this past Friday telling me he will no longer be visiting me and that he will simply remember our "lovely times." I responded thanking him for telling me and that now I no longer have to continue to be heart broken or disappointed when he cancels. And that I would bury our good times and memories deep in my heart. I also told him I hoped he will find someone that will make him happy and understand his "complicated" life........

Here is the funny part about all of this.....I didn't shed a tear like I thought I would. I cried each time over the years when he would cancel and I had to take off my pretty lingerie and throw out food and wine I prepared but for some odd reason this time it didn't affect me much. Maybe I was expecting this to happen at some point and my heart was prepared? Like my blog title says. "will I ever learn?" I think perhaps I will because I REFUSE to be with a married man again.

{=} {=} {=} KCClaire0923

kcclaire0923 67F  
822 posts
3/11/2018 5:32 pm

I am sure that this will resonate with many women on this site. I truly blame only myself and at least I know for sure that I will never make the same mistake(s) with a married man again. Passionate deep sex is powerful; but so is being more than just a good "fuck" when he doesn't get that at home.

{=} {=} {=}

I_giv_pleasure 58M  
2891 posts
3/11/2018 5:53 pm

Always good to hear from you. Wish it went better for you. I'm there if you need me

marriedcretin 52M
1324 posts
3/11/2018 6:06 pm

oh yeah, us married men are a nightmare because we want our cake and eat it. We can't give you the time that you deserve. You should definitely stay away from us. A married man can never give you a weekend or a evening meal and is usually pretty jumpy about being caught.

Good luck in your search!

Naughtypursuit 55F  
2766 posts
3/11/2018 6:10 pm

Speaking from a similar but different experience, I think you did not shed a tear because you know you deserve better. The flowers, the messages, the appreciation for the lingerie and meal you prepared, and most importantly time...all things you can now have.

positively4you 73F  
4605 posts
3/11/2018 8:36 pm

I realized eventually that I deserve more than some woman’s leftovers. I can endure celibacy more than that sense of being last on his agenda.
Good for you.

Paulxx001 65M  
22616 posts
7/29/2018 3:57 am

hmmm . . . Interesting and rather sad story. I guess I don't get other men. I could never see myself putting a woman through that shit. But who am I to judge? Hopefully you have some sort of good memories from that whole experience. hmmm . . . . a lot of stuff was going on . . right ?

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