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Random Act of Christmas Kindness
Posted:Dec 14, 2015 8:31 pm
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2015 10:36 am

A few days ago, I was covering as a cashier at the large retailer I work for. My normal position is managing the accounting/cash office but it was busy and I offered to help out for cashier lunch coverage. Lines were long and it was noisy.

A young woman came through my line with her three small in tow. She had a pretty full basket with groceries and it took me a little bit to scan everything and get it all into bags. When I sent her EBT food stamps card transaction through it was declined...I told her that I will try it again, maybe it wasn't read correctly on the card reader. Nope, it declined once again. She started to cry, was terribly embarrassed and apologetic. Her bill was $134 and change. She said through her quiet tears that she thought her card had been loaded for the month but she would have to come back another day. She offered to put things back, especially the cold perishable items and I said no, we had employees on the floor that can do that. As soon as I started to call a manager over that could "abort" the whole transaction, a man behind another customer in my line handed me his debt card and told me to use it for her. I was dumbfounded just as she was. But I did it, and the lady tried to get the generous man to give her his information so she could pay him back. He refused, and as I gave him back his card, gave her the receipt, I was crying, she was crying and so were a couple of ladies in my line.....They were all saying "God bless you" to this man who was trying hard to keep a low profile and get out of there. I remained professional as I scanned his few items through my tears. The lady gave him a hug and thank him over and over even though he seemed a bit embarrassed. My heart was so warmed by this kind gesture,

I gotta tell you witnessing something like that really makes it all bearable when I see so many bad things on TV everyday. Shootings at schools, car jackings, murders, terrorists acts, home invasion robberies and on and on. I live in a suburb 30 miles north of Los Angeles but watch the news everyday and its always something bad on there....I know this wonderful man is a regular customer in my store and when I see him I will simply nod, and say hello to him.......But I know he will remember me and what happened through my line.

If more folks were understanding instead of judging people this world would be a better place to live in for us all. A random act of kindness never is a bad thing,

Merry Christmas to All,
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
Chatting on IM
Posted:Dec 9, 2015 4:43 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2015 8:33 am

I log into IM here to chat sometimes and get several "dings" and requests to chat. So many of them simply say "hi" or "care to chat?" something like that. I try to respond to all incoming requests on the screen that says "decline with a brief message" so they know I am already chatting and not just being rude.

I enjoy talking with possible new friends but I really struggle with men that answer with one word replies or a short sentence with two or three words. Seems like I do all the talking, bringing up subjects like the weather or headline news etc etc. Is this because most men are plain shy or just don't like regular conversation topics? Heaven knows I get some CRUDE and NASTY messages which of course I delete the conversation and block them from trying again. But the ones who are mostly mannerly and respectful I seem to have to pull the conversation out of them. Often times there will be a long delay before they start talking again (I do that on purpose hoping he will talk about something). I also think it is important to show good grammar and spelling but that isn't always the case either. I do ask if they are chatting with more than just me and if that's the case, I excuse myself and sign off. I won't tolerate that.

Wonder if you folks out there have any struggles like this when chatting on IM? Obviously I don't talk with women so I am not sure if this is a problem for men as well? I love good conversation and eventually with this site such as it is it can get flirty and then who knows? A possible meet with a new friend.....

{=} {=} KCClaire0923
What Are Men Really Looking For?
Posted:Dec 7, 2015 11:56 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2015 9:32 am

We all know what this site is all about.....however, I have seen recent blogs written about relationships forming and even an occasional marriage out of those who have met here. The number of married/attached men on this site is astronomical and it is understandable. They are not happy at home for one reason or another. She hates sex and that stopped a long time ago; she is a raving bitch and hard to live with; he is bored with her and their vanilla sex life. So, okay I get that. But it doesn't mean us single gals have to settle for that. We need also him to be available when we need him or want him - NOT on his schedule all the time. It's hurtful see him looking at his watch all the time.

So to those of you men on here who are SINGLE, real, honest and not looking for just casual sex once in awhile but really would like to find someone close in distance that you can develop a friendship with, go places and do things also OUTSIDE the bedroom.....what would she look like not only physically but inside as well? Her qualities, her attitude, life outlook and all of that? Yes men are visual creatures and must have chemistry to go along with everything else. So I will ask this question to you single men. Would you describe in just a few words what your ideal woman would look and BE like? Please be honest, as I am posing this blog topic for not only myself, but for a few women friends on here who are wondering the same thing. Those of us who are single, normal, decent, clean, honest, caring, sexy and easy to get along with. Then maybe we can figure it all out. We know are sitting on a goldmine, but there must be men out there who look deeper than that. Especially in our baby boomer age group.

Thanks guys in advance for your feedback and honest replies.

{=} {=} KCClaire0923
Making the First Move
Posted:Nov 30, 2015 3:26 pm
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2015 11:26 am

I am curious about something. How many of you wait for the other person of the opposite sex to initiate the first move or contact? I wonder if it is my age group or maybe just me but I can't or won't send the initial e-mail or IM request to chat if I see someone's profile I might be interested in. I can honestly say that I have sent a note to those who write an exceptional profile and I will compliment them on that. But I always seem to hesitate asking if they would like to chat or get acquainted by e-mail on our personal addresses. I think maybe I am old fashioned that way, or just plain shy, I don't know. I do know that I am not an aggressive personality at all; but certainly do respond ASAP to those who make the first contact. Even if it is to say "no thank you."

Men, how comfortable are you sending a message asking if we would like to get to know each other and then wait/hope for a response- positive or negative? Ladies, do you do this often? I may be referring to ladies over age 50, but am curious about every age group. Meeting people of the opposite sex is difficult at best; but especially if you are not into the bar scene, which i am not. I have met and dated many from this site in a four year period, but they have all made the first contact. I liked it better in the times where a guy came up to a girl when he saw her and asked for her phone number to call her for a date. Those days are long gone - mostly because of the kind of world we live in now I would say.

Thoughts? Comments? Opinions?

{=} {=} KCClaire0923
Men's Profiles VS Women's Profiles
Posted:Nov 20, 2015 4:30 pm
Last Updated:Dec 16, 2015 5:13 pm

I read so many men's profiles and notice they are usually one or two lines only. Standard introduction and ideal person. Just a few words - then most women's that I have seen (my own included) go more into detail about themselves and who/what they are looking for. I wish men would be more open about this, because we women need to know more before we decide to respond or initiate contact. I know for myself I will bypass a man's profile even if his picture is an attractive one (face picture that is) unless there is some information for me to go on. I don't even waste time on ANY cock pictures, I simply delete those. They all look the same. Men, why don't you both to write more details on your profiles?

Ladies, do you see what I am talking about here?

{=} {=} KCClaire0923
Endless E-Mails
Posted:Nov 17, 2015 9:44 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2015 8:09 pm

I get frustrated at times when I respond to a man here that seems like someone I would like to get to know. After about a week or so of daily small talk, online whether on IM here or on YIM, I would think that if he is as interested as he seems that he would ask me out or even mention that we should meet for a drink or coffee (in a public place always of course!)

Being rather "old fashioned" I never make the first move that way, and usually never have to. But there have been a couple of guys lately that I have been talking with and it seems endless chat about work or family, everyday stuff. That's fine, but gosh after a couple of weeks and it goes no place else then I just give up and stop responding to e-mails. Neither one have asked me why, one stopped e-mails all together and the other one just sends a message like "Hey" or "Hi Ya" or "Good Evening" and that's IT. They both know that I won't initiate any contact and that I am old school that way. As we know, years ago, a guy would ask a girl for her phone number and call her to ask her out on a date. Those days are gone of course but I always felt special when asked for that.

So guys, I wonder what it is sometimes that holds you back when asking to meet us in person? Is it shyness, or low self esteem or God forbid, because you have been deceitful in sharing your information with us and possibly posted photos that are 20 or 25 years old? Help me understand please. I have posted my face photo that is less than 2 years old and all my profile information is true accurate and honest. I can't understand why people are not honest about that.

Any information to help me understand this would be much appreciated! {=}
1 comment
Common Conversation Etiquette
Posted:Nov 10, 2015 7:22 pm
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2015 1:42 pm

Is it necessary to use the "F" bomb in every sentence during normal conversation? I am not just referring to folks who have had too much to drink and get loose with language; but a sane, sober normal person who is just talking. I just don't understand the relevance to doing this. For many years having season seats at Dodger stadium that's all you would hear at the game from people in the seats around us....with small sitting near by. Now I hear it at restaurants having dinner, in the grocery store lines and even outside of church after services!

I certainly am not perfect and am no prude, but I just don't ever use that word and don't feel the need to. Of course here at Heated Affairs there are times when I see it often used in profiles and some of the morns who use it when contacting me via IM or e-mail. They sure don't use any tact doing that and I just delete them. I certainly am not saying that it is always men who use this word, many times women are just as bad or worse. So do any of you see the relevance in using this type of language in every day conversation?

{=} {=} KCClaire0923
"Hot or Not" Feature
Posted:Nov 1, 2015 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2015 5:21 pm

How many of you all use this feature? It's located on your Search button at the top of your screen on the black tool bar. Click on search, then the drop down box has Hot or Not as a new feature in green. When you click it, you get selected profile pictures and the choice to click hot or not in green or red. If you choose hot, then it will send a notification message to that person that you think he/she is hot and they are then added to your hotlist.

I check it about once a week, but am amazed at the profiles that pop up with only cock pictures. Of course I click NOT in red for those right away. You can go to the bottom on these profiles and click on the profile name and it will take you to their profile to read. If you come back to the feature again, you will eventually get back to them and can make your choice. I have received "thank you" messages from some I have hot listed and it's fun to get these and then maybe have a chat or a nice conversation.

Just wanted to share this in case any blog friends are not aware of it's existence.

{=} {=} KCClaire0923
Initiated Contacts Long Distance
Posted:Oct 27, 2015 8:11 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2015 11:06 am

Does anyone get e-mails or IM pages from interested members that are out of your local area? I get these often and today I received one from a man that lives in the state of Minnesota and I live in southern California. He listed all the things I said in my profile of what it is I am looking for and said he is the "perfect" man for me. When I read his profile he clearly indicated that he is NOT wiling to relocate and he has NO photo(s) posted. So that tells me I would have to be the one to move my life 2500 miles away if it got that far and somehow we clicked ????

So my question would be the obvious....How in the world would we ever build a relationship, share chemistry by dating or spend any quality time together? Plus who would be the one to travel to the other state just to "meet" if it got that far? It really doesn't make much sense to me to try and have a long distance relationship especially given the kind of site Heated Affairs is very important but so is spending regular quality time together. I wonder why people really would think this could be a possibility of finding the right partner? Maybe he was just very horny or dare I say "desperate" when he wrote it?
Attraction To The Opposite Sex
Posted:Oct 5, 2015 11:19 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2015 6:22 pm

This topic is addressed to both men and women. When you are looking through and reading profiles on this site (and any others where you might be a member) is the physical picture/description the first thing that makes you desire to know more? Do you have a "type" that when you see her/him you just know? But then find out later that....he is NOT your type?

Or even if someone isn't physically what you would normally pursue do you read more? I ask this question because as an older mature woman, I have found that when we look deeper sometimes we find attraction in other ways. Like for instance intelligence, manners, grammar and spelling, and overall attitude about life. I have noticed that many times men who are drop dead gorgeous have a horrible conceited bragging attitude and are all about themselves. There are other times when I read a profile that the man has a nice face, great smile but typically is not someone I would want to pursue but I find him attractive because he seems sweet, real and puts his heart out there being so candid and honest.

I don't mean to be rude here, but I do know that a big majority of men can be very shallow and are all about a woman's outside looks and NOTHING else. That's just how God created most men I think....But for what it's worth, there is so much more than that. I have talked with men who have been with women who are beautiful on the outside but as one told me "she has NOTHING else to offer and is a BITCH when she opens her mouth." I suppose for some men that makes no difference as long as she looks good on his arm for all to see.

Personally for me, I have dated both types. Men who are model types with perfect teeth, bodies, tall and tanned with great hair. Also I have dated men who are shorter, a few pounds overweight, thinning hair, and older. I don't have a "type" either but found that men who are NOT drop dead gorgeous are more genuine, kind and treat me much better, That is the type I am looking for now and I know he is out there. Someplace...somewhere. Thoughts anyone?

{=} {=} KCClaire0923
Really Quick Sexual Encounters
Posted:Jul 25, 2015 7:52 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2015 8:10 pm

This is more of an overall general statement for the ladies, but men, if you have any input then have at it! Over the past four years I have met and dated many men, some for longer periods than others; two were pretty serious with one marriage proposal, which I declined (it hurt him deeply) and the other one is married and that will never change that so I broke it off finally.....

Anyway, Ladies, have you had sexual encounters with men on first meet where you have been acquainted on line and the phone prior to meeting? And have those first meets ended up having sex with them that lasted MAYBE 10 or 15 minutes? Then he gets right up, puts on his clothes and says "thanks for a great evening?" Oh my God, I have had a few of those over the years and after he leaves I ask myself "what just happened here?" I get so mad at myself then block his profile, e-mail and his cell phone number so they can't contact me again. Those encounters made me feel so awful, and I even offered coffee or a drink before they left and was turned down. I am SO glad that hasn't happened to me in over a year, I guess because I have a regular "booty call" that lives 2 miles from me - now when HE is here, the encounter can be anywhere from 2 to 4 hours. That's what I call great sex, taking his time with me leaving me breathless over and over!

{=} {=} KCClaire0923
Young People in the Workplace
Posted:Jul 23, 2015 9:34 am
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2015 8:29 am

I am so amazed still at the young people today (usually 35 and younger) that expect life in the workplace to revolve around them. I left the banking world in 2012 after 27 years due to many reasons, but one was that I had a staff of 14 all under age 30. Not a single one would ever ask me if I needed help with anything, and they would rarely go out of their way to do anything other than their specific job duty. Almost as if to say "that's not my job in my job description" if I would ask them to do a specific thing. I had many closed door discussions with some but it just seemed to me that the sense of entitlement was always present. I had to work HARD my whole career and I did....

Fast forward three years later, I am now in a part time job that I love with a large retailer close to my home. I am not in a manager-supervisor role thankfully. There have been many employees I have seen in the past year and a half that have been terminated for their poor attendance - calling out sick or not showing up for work. There was a young gal hired recently and after one week she called out sick and it was a very busy weekend day. They called me on my day off and of course I went in to work because I knew they needed the help. Another employee reported that he saw her on Facebook the night before drinking with friends at the beach. NOT too smart I would say - an employer can monitor someone's activity on Facebook because it is a public forum. These folks just don't get it - do we blame their parents for this behavior?

What happened to honest work ethics and a sense of pride? When I was young I wouldn't have dared to do anything like that..a job meant you signed on the dotted line to be dependable and give your 100% to the employer that has a business to run. Besides, my Dad would have knocked me into the next county if I didn't work hard and keep my grades up eventually going to college and getting my degrees. It's a whole different society in today's world. So SAD.

{=} {=} KCClaire0923

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