Meeting/Dating Before the Cyber World
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Posted:Jan 8, 2017 9:29 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2017 12:23 pm
11194 Views
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I was reflecting the other day on how times and our world has changed so much. I miss the days where a guy would see a girl, decide he wanted to get to know her and actually went up to her and asked for her number so he could call her for a date. Most times it was groups of at a coffee shop after school or at the movies or maybe even at a shopping center (mall) or maybe Disneyland or Knott's Berry Farm... Innocent times.
One summer my girlfriends and I were driving to the beach in San Diego and a car load of guys pulled up next to us. They asked where we were going and we said "follow us to the beach!" and we all had a great time that day. One couple got together after meeting that day and are still married now. We didn't have to worry about someone pulling out any drugs or needles; or guns to kidnap one of us. Those things just didn't happen back in those safe days.
Other times we went to places like Red Onion or Bobby McGee's in Orange County which was a restaurant/dance establishment that had live music and when the band took a break they showed music videos on the big screens...this was in the 80's. Guys we met and danced with ended up going to breakfast with us to Denny's in the wee hours of the morning after the place closed. I met a great guy from those times and dated him for three years....Oh how times have changed! I miss those days so much. The world is just not a safe one anymore.
Now you have to consider that one can be anything they want to be behind a computer screen on dating and adult sites. But when reality sets in and it comes to an agreed meet in a public place he/she either doesn't show up or they have been deceitful and look and act NOTHING like they did online. I have always just been ME; on and offline and nothing more or less. But the number of men I have met who are NOT...have all gone to the "bug jar" and blocked from further contact. Either they are 20 or more years older than their pictures; they are a smoker when they said they didn't smoke; they are MARRIED when they insisted they were divorced or single...and the list goes on.
On the flip side though, I have met a few in person over a five year period of the cyber dating/meeting and who were exactly who they said they were. So there is still hope for us all......like a friend's Mother told me, we just have to get through the all crumbs to get to the loaf of real bread....lol
Happy New Year everyone!
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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6
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2016 Over and Out
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Posted:Dec 31, 2016 9:52 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2016 5:38 pm
11062 Views
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Wow.....and what year it was especially in the political and entertainment field. I am scared for the political side of what transpired in 2016 and won't elaborate on that. Discussing religion and politics is something I vowed long ago NOT to ever debate or discuss. It only makes for enemies and bad blood between relatives, friends and acquaintances.
In the entertainment field we lost so so many good folks....talented, famous and who will be missed so much. It got to the point here within the past 2 or 3 months that I hated turning on the TV or reading the news here on my computer. Some that we lost could have been prevented I am sure; others of course had health issues that could not be fixed. I often think about some of these folks and how much joy they brought to me personally in the movies and TV shows. Also in the music world. When I hear these artists singing a favorite song of mine I wonder how much money they are still making even after their demise....Music is a huge part of my life. I have always listened to it often; I can name that tune in one note!
When the annual Oscar/Academy Awards show is aired in January I can only imagine how long the "In Memoriam" performance will be. Usually there is a very talented musician playing a guitar or the piano softly in the darkened background while the faces of the dearly departed are shown on the big screen. Some get a loud applause while others a soft applause. But all are remembered in their own way of the accomplishments they worked hard for.
May 2017 be the best year ever for us all - in many ways. If we try to look at the good in this world and be kind to one another I think we will make it!
God Bless to all!
-KCClaire0923 {=} {=}
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5
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Christmas Memories
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Posted:Dec 24, 2016 8:15 pm
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2016 10:39 pm
10981 Views
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I just returned home from going to a Christmas Eve mass service. It was lovely; the bell ringing chimes, the poinsettia red and white flowers decorating the chapel and of course the message about what Christmas is really about. It all touches my heart. As I listened and reflected, it brought back a lot of good memories growing up in the late 50's and 60's. It was a time of innocence and such anticipation at Christmas.
We always had a sock of our own (from our underwear drawer) hung for Santa to fill. It usually had an orange, an apple, some walnuts and that ribbon hard candy in peppermint and wintergreen flavors. Now you only see the expensive stuff for stockings that you buy....electronics, gift cards worth hundreds of dollars etc. The news shows people at the malls spending so much money on gifts, Fighting for a parking place and trying to get through maddening crowds. My heart just breaks at the thought of how this time of year is so commercialized now and about the almighty dollar. There is no bargain ever, anywhere that will get me out there now or on the day after Christmas. It has lost it's meaning for sure.
Anyway, no matter how you choose to celebrate I hope you also remember to be kind to one another. Kindness and sharing love should be done not only at the holidays but all year long. It doesn't cost anything and makes the world so much better.
Merry Christmas to all - and may 2017 be a great time for everyone even with the challenges we face here in our U S government. God help us all with that.
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
P.S. I miss you and am drinking a glass of wine, looking at the tree and lights by myself wishing you were here with me. God bless you and keep you safe. XOXO
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4
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Endless Boring IM and E-mails
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Posted:Dec 15, 2016 9:36 am
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2016 5:41 pm
12303 Views
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Why is it that I seem to be the one who keeps conversations going when chatting on IM and e-mails? I am finding that lately I am getting only one or two word messages and responses. As I begin to talk about family, or work, or just about anything in general I can't get guys to open up. I have no problem keeping a conversation going and can always find something good to talk about. So when I ask an opinion or ask a general question I usually get one or two word responses.
That will only hold my interest for so long. Endless e-mail and IM's like that are so boring to me. I prefer intellectual conversation even if it is about what you cooked or had for dinner and whether you liked it or not. When I ask about that I only get "chicken" or "spaghetti." If I say "wow today was sure cold...how about where you live?" I will get "pretty cold." Then nothing...I have to keep it going. Sometimes after a few minutes of this I will say "Okay, I need to get going, thanks for the chat and goodnight." They will say "OK 'night." Then contact me the next time with the one word "hi" and it starts all over.....sometimes I will block them if it continues. I get so tired of being the one to keep the topics going. Wonder why a lot of guys are like this? Could it be they are shy or not confident about chatting?
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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15
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Profile Contents
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Posted:Dec 3, 2016 12:42 pm
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2016 6:34 pm
11858 Views
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As a long time member here on Heated Affairs, I have read an awful lot of men's profiles. A majority of them, I would probably say 75 to 80 percent have the following as a tag line, or at least in the section about what they are looking for.
No strings attached
Discreet meetings for sex
Not looking for any kind of relationship
FWB but inside the bedroom only
No dating, just sexual contact
Cannot host; must be your place only
Okay, I get it. This IS a sex site after all. I do know that at least 80% of men here are married or attached in some way; are bored and want to "spice things up."
I also am quite sure there are women on here in the same situation that post the same things on their profiles. I don't read those so I cannot say for sure. But for me personally I cannot be just that for anyone. If he cannot be seen with me in public or outside the bedroom then I just can't be available to him for just sex. As I have said before, pump and dump, nail and bail, hit and run is not something that appeals me. It is very empty and as a human being its nice to do things together as friends like going to dinner, seeing a movie, going to a concert or just taking a drive. THEN going home to have hot passionate sex.......
Anyone have anything to add? Of course the married and attached folks most likely won't and I expect that. It would seem to me that what they are looking for can be bought for a price. There are men and women who do this for a living but I guess a site like this can promote free sex without having to pay.
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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My Standard IM Response
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Posted:Nov 26, 2016 12:31 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2016 8:41 am
11682 Views
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When I get a request to chat on IM and I see that the picture is of his cock here is my response: "No thank you, I don't chat with cock pictures. Prefer to see your face before I see your junk." Most often I don't hear back but this morning I did from one young man who was a real smart ass. Here is what he said:
"Oh, so it's okay that you have pictures of your tits posted? Double standard here with men and women." I didn't waste anymore time with him so I blocked him.
If he had chosen to look closely he would have seen that my "tit" pictures are all covered AND I have face pictures posted as well. Of course they only see what they want to. So, men check out ALL photos closely before you are quick to judge. He had nothing but his cock in his photos....GEEZ I know some women here like to see those and actually so do I BUT after I have seen his face and chatted a bit. At least that leaves some mystery and something to look forward to.
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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Thanksgiving Day Reflections
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Posted:Nov 19, 2016 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2016 7:57 pm
12232 Views
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Every other year at the holidays I share my two daughters and their families with extended family members. I always get invited, but quite frankly some of those family members are "outlaws" not in-laws so I decline. This is one of the years I will be by myself for the holidays and that's okay;I am used to it. I will work this year, then when I get off at 3pm I will prepare my dinner and reflect. (I manage the cash/accounting office of a large retailer that is open that day).
I will roast a small turkey the night before and have stuffing, vegetables and cranberry sauce with it. Of course pumpkin pie for dessert!! What's nice about this is that I will enjoy leftovers for a few days like the standard turkey sandwiches for lunch and the rest for dinners. I also make sure I drag out my best china and light my candles and use my best tablecloth and centerpiece.... I love the peacefulness of this time so I can think back long and hard about what I am thankful for and all my many blessings. I live in a city with no family or friends close by. My daughters are within a 2 and 3 hour radius from me. We visit in person about once a month and call/text/e-mail often. It works well for all of us and our schedules...I will look forward to being with family again next year in 2017 for the holidays.
God bless you all; my wish is that you have a safe and blessed holiday season!
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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Light Bulb Moment - FINALLY
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Posted:Nov 12, 2016 9:47 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2018 8:35 pm
12015 Views
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I recently discovered on my own, that I was not the only one from here that was "giving it up" to someone I cared about. I honestly think I have been in denial for 4 years; thinking I was number one on his list. Well, maybe number two because he is married. That I have known all along but chose to ignore it. Anyway, the signs were all there this whole time but it recently hit me hard like a ton of bricks. So in smacking my forehead, I have ended things finally.
1) Each time we were able to get together (on HIS schedule) it took days after that before I would hear from him again. BUT I would see him here online and in our favorite chat room. This is before he would take the time to drop me a note. Last time a whole weekend went by and I sat waiting to hear from him but saw him chatting here in the chat room where we met.
2) If I happen to be signed into IM here, he would pop in for about a minute, say hello, talk about the weather a little bit then there would be a long delay in his responses and he would say he "had to get out of here." So I figured out I was not the only one he was chatting with. I will not and do NOT stand in line. So I would say goodbye quickly and sign out before he could.
3) Watching him in the chat room (flash chat -he couldn't see me there) I often witnessed the very flirtatious conversations he has with others. Of course never mentioning names but I always knew he was acquainted with three or four ladies in person and even as friends over on Face Book. This has been the case for four years but after no contact with me for a week or two after spending quality time in bed I've had it. I truly thought there was a deep connection but clearly I was WRONG. Casual sex in the beginning that I thought grew deeply over time. What WAS I thinking? I guess I fell deeper for him than I should have.
It's time to let go, dust myself off and move on keeping the good memories closely in my heart. I allowed this to go on for too long; never a word of affection from him, always visiting empty handed - I didn't expect anything extravagant but something small like a card or flowers once in awhile would have been nice because he acted like he cared for me. Never happened, even on my birthday or Christmas. But who is to blame? ME!! I clearly see that now.
Ladies, watch your hearts...unless you can have casual sex often and his other activities don't bother you one bit. I thought that was me at first but things grew...at least on my part and what I THOUGHT was his part...I was wrong.
Men, be smart about your activities when you are involved with someone long term. Even if you don't love her but she is a great piece of ass...make her feel like she is important by remembering the little things. ESPECIALLY contact her soon after having been with her. No word makes her feel cheap and used.
I feel much better now....blogging about this is very cathartic for me and I will be fine. I just know now to not get so involved emotionally. NOT worth it...
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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4
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Chatting, Meeting, Saying NO
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Posted:Oct 29, 2016 12:31 pm
Last Updated:Nov 1, 2016 4:34 pm
12688 Views
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Have you ever chatted with someone online and found them to be charming, sweet and someone you would like to meet and go out with? Then when you do make the plans, meet in person only to find out the chemistry was only virtual...
It can be difficult to say no not only for another date but to turn them down for a sexual encounter having met here on a sex site. I have had to drive home rather quickly at times and block them. I never meet anyone for the first time at my home; aways in a public place. Then if I am comfortable I will invite them over for a meal and or a drink. But those who I don't want to see again it can make me feel bad some times to have to turn them down saying there just isn't any physical connection. But I do it - especially when and if there are red flags.
One recent date was not too bad until he lit a cigarette as soon as we left the restaurant. Smoking is a deal breaker for me and he had told me online he was a non-smoker. When I reminded him of that he said he forgot to tell me he picked up the habit again. I decided that if he lied about that what else did he lie about? I didn't feel bad at all about ending that one.....
Has this ever happened to any of you?
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7
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Waiting in Line
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Posted:Oct 16, 2016 11:49 am
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2016 5:28 pm
8744 Views
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This post is directed to the ladies out there that experience the "waiting in line" like some of us do at times. I want to know how it makes you feel when you KNOW someone that you have been with passionately on a regular basis is chatting, camming, skyping and possibly seeing others at the same time?
I have learned over the years to protect my heart over this and just enjoy the physical time spent. I don't dwell on the fact that "will he or won't he contact me again if he finds something better?" If I see him online anywhere...Yahoo, Face Book or here on Heated Affairs I simply sign off. I do not and will NOT wait or beg. I don't contact him at all because there are other reasons behind that. But, when I do hear from him I will usually respond depending on the length of time since his last message. This is the usual M O with most men on this site; they have egos to protect and I get it. If I continue to be a low priority on one's list then I have my reasons for saying yes to him when I do. It's my choice but I am not sure for how long this will go on....One day I will have to put the brakes on.
However, on the flip side of this, I like that I get to choose IF and WHEN we will be together when it fits his schedule. There are times when I say NO; not often but it does happen. I am certainly NOT desperate, but when the passion, chemistry and sex is so good it is difficult to not say yes. But my walls are up and I am guarded in my heart. I have experienced a broken heart too many times to mention and I refuse to allow it to happen again. So until that great love of my life finds me again (I know he will too) and whisks me away on that white I will enjoy without standing in any lines! I am having some nice conversations on another "vanilla" site so there is hope for me. I just remain patient while enjoying my passionate high sex drive!!
What about some of you Ladies? Ever experienced this?
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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5
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"Sexless" Marriages - "Faceless" Photos
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Posted:Oct 9, 2016 10:18 am
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2016 7:08 pm
7910 Views
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If I had a nickel for every time I have seen the phrase "I am in a sexless marriage" I think I would be a millionaire by now. Of course this is the platform forum for these types of individuals who are looking for that physical satisfaction that they are not getting at home. I get that. I would think it can be a bit risky, especially in today's world, but hopefully these folks are selective staying safe and sexually healthy. There are a lot of crazy people out there.
I know quite a few married men on this site; some I have met in person once for coffee or a drink; some I have had in my life for a lot longer; there is one that I continue to see when his schedule permits. Not sure why I still allow this, I guess because there is a deep connection there that surpasses the physical part. But his situation will never change and I know that. Hopefully mine will change someday and I will be committed to one single man who can give me all of his time and not have another life where I am such a low priority. I deserve better and I know that and remind myself of it often.
Anyway, some of these married men in their "sexless marriages" post no pictures on their profiles; just a gray silhouette but are searching to get laid. Others post face shots smiling with information that they are simply on here looking to see what's out there. My opinion is that the ones with photos posted most likely think they won't get "caught" and are not afraid to show their face. The others are wanting to be discreet so they can get laid and not get caught by possible co-workers, friends or family that also may be on this site.
I know one thing is for sure. If I am with someone I care about and we are enjoying a nice relationship inside and outside the bedroom I would NEVER look elsewhere. Whether i was married to him or not. Monogamy is important to me and that's what I am searching for. A nice SINGLE man that is not in a sexless marriage and has face pictures posted. I know I may not find him here and that's okay. I have good luck on a couple of other "vanilla" sites but I keep Heated Affairs around as my guilty pleasure!! Been a fun 5 years on here.....
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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4
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Traffic School
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Posted:Oct 1, 2016 9:54 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2016 8:19 pm
8042 Views
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I live in southern California where there are millions of drivers on the roads, freeways and highways at any given time. I have a tendency to be a bit of a "lead foot" at times and exceed the speed limit. The last time I got a speeding ticket was in 1995. So, of course eventually it would happen again and recently I was ticketed for doing 57mph in a 45mph zone. I agreed with the officer and admitted I was going too fast. I did not even bother to tell him that I was running late getting back to work. It was the truth but still that is no excuse to exceed the posted speed. It puts everyone at risk and I know better.
I received my fine in the mail about 3 weeks later; it was $237. I was eligible for traffic school so I paid a total of $307 so I could attend. This is one point on my driving record; but attending traffic school the offense is "hidden" from the DMV and my insurance company so my rates do not increase. It was worth it.
My class was last Saturday, from 8am to 4pm. I learned so much about new California laws and the changes. I have had 3 automatic renewals of my drivers license by mail so I have not had to go and take the driving tests in a few years. I just paid my renewal fees and my license was good for another 4 years. In the class last week they really focused on cell phone use; talking and texting while driving. Also on DUI (driving under the influence). Of course we saw videos of blood and guts accident fatalities due to drinking and driving, cell phone use etc. It was a real eye opener....I am not a drinker thankfully, but when they talked about the fines I was blown away and so shocked!
The first offense is a $15,000 fine; loss of drivers license for a year PLUS you must attend alcohol prevention classes and pay for those as well. I could not believe what I was hearing. The fines increase if there is a repeat offense; your license is suspended again and depending on the number of DUI's can result in your license being revoked completely. Then after a certain period of years you can apply for a new license, new number just as if it were your first time getting a driver's license. Then the DMV will make a determination whether to issue one to you. I forgot one thing; after multiple offenses, depending on how many, the court can have a device installed on your car that has you "blow into it" before your car will start with even with the keys in the ignition. If you have been drinking it will not allow the car to start. I had NO idea about this......
Now if I go out on a date for lunch or dinner, and it's a first meet where I drive myself to the restaurant I won't be ordering my usual one glass of white zin wine!! I never have more than one because that results in my clothes falling off!!! LOL Goodness sakes I am glad I went to that class - WOW
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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4
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E-Mail Notifications
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Posted:Sep 23, 2016 12:57 pm
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2016 4:51 pm
8645 Views
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About a month ago I began getting a big red message on my profile page here when I logged in - It said "Your e-mail address in invalid and your messages are bouncing." Now mind you, I have had the same e-mail address since 2011 when I became a PAID Heated Affairs member. When I started getting that message all of a sudden I no longer get notifications on my Yahoo e-mail when I have Heated Affairs activity.
I went to the "help" section, followed all the steps twice and no luck. I changed my e-mail address; have sent 3 request messages to customer service, even asking for the courtesy of at least a reply. Nothing.......Still no notifications in my e-mail and I have tons of activity here daily..
Anyone else experienced this? One would think that Customer Service could at least reply to my inquiry messages. SO very unprofessional as a business.
{=} {=} KCClaire0923
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