please forgive me.... bonus two, at least part of it. unedited  

dadigan 60M  
319 posts
12/28/2021 5:47 pm
please forgive me.... bonus two, at least part of it. unedited


This isn't a story, and won't fit your neat little boxes. How nice it would be to have neat little boxes again, even yours. I'm Daniel and this is not something you will want to read, but one I will share
nonetheless. I'll offer a bit of what happened because, as you might find out, some things can't ever be taken back, and the story you hear, or believe, is rarely complete. You judge for yourselves.

I can't use age as an excuse... I was in my 40's. I could use a head injury, or a divorce... because those would be plausible... but it was lust, pure lust. I have no other excuse for what happened and what
happened after that. I did what I did and I will pay for it at some point, even though I had the best intentions when it started.

During this time, I was recently divorced after a 12 year marriage in which my wife cheated on me. She told me the same night it happened, after having sex with me. It ended as you would expect.

I ended up in a small community in a semi-mountainous region Of western New Mexico because I like to wander, and this area gave me terrain, and solitude, I liked and craved. The area is spectacular, but
very isolated. It was an hour to a decent size town and winters can be intense, but I wanted that.... needed it for myself.

I had found a job online there for someone to tend a county/church cemetery. They had me after the first line of the ad which read....

"If you are superstitious... PLEASE don't apply. Job entails tending to graves and upkeep of the cemetery....and surrounding property. Basic use, and, maintenance of equipment. This property is owned by a religious organization and taking care of that property is part of the position.... landscaping, snow removal, basic repair... other tasks as required to help the nuns.

You main job will be caring for the cemetery. No one has for a long time so be must strong, and a hard worker This land is beautiful, and special to SO many people, but it's not a job for most.

You are welcome to stay onsite so you can see the area and meet the sisters. The land is beautiful, and special, and will take your breath away, and quite possibly capture your soul. It's not a job for most
people, which is fine because they aren't looking for most people. Please call Henry if you are interested."

It's was a long ad, which intrigued me, so I called the number, left a message, and waited. A real estate broker named Henry McAlister called me the following day and we made arrangements to meet at the property three days hence. It seemed as if my life was falling back into line. Had I known what was to come, I would have just kept driving.

The Abbey, and cemetery, was outside a small community in a semi-mountainous region spanning the NM/AZ state line. Because I like to wander I had been in the general vicinity many years prior and
remembered that I thought it was God's country. I might have been wrong.

The job offered a small salary, enough for me to live, and a place to stay. I could have a garden and animals as well. It wasn't a great place but I could fix it up as I saw fit, and it had high speed
internet.... for me, at the time, it was paradise. I had three more days of freedom so I got some supplies, filled Bob with gas, and headed to southern Utah on my way to the new life that awaited me.

Do you ever have the tingling sensations at the back of the neck? I call them 'the nigglies.'If you ever get those feelings then it would be wise to pay heed. I didn't and lived to pay for it. I think I am still paying for it.

arrived late afternoon on the agreed upon day and Henry was waiting. He seemed relieved to see me. I explained that Bob blew out a tire and the was spare flat so I had to wait for AAA. He gave me a quick tour of the cemetery, very quick, and showed me the small house that went with the job. It definitely needed work but I enjoy physical activity and he said I could basically do what I wanted inside, within in reason.

He seemed preoccupied, almost as if he was looking over his shoulder, and wanted to be any place other than where he was. He gave me a file folder and said it had all the pertinent information in it and then led me to the Abbey to meet the Mother Superior of the Order. Her name was Sister Helene, which I found unusual for a nun. I went to Catholic school as a boy and I had never met a nun named Helene. When she opened the door of her office I was stunned. Thankfully Henry spoke while I regained my composure.

She was absolutely stunning, but she was the head of the Abbey and had to be at least in her 50's, yet she looked like she was in her 30's. We exchanged pleasantries and she asked to meet with me at the cemetery the following day to share her thoughts and plans. As Henry and I got up to leave she reached out her hand. I took it thinking we would shake good-bye but she didn't let go and looked in my eyes in a way I had never experienced. I wouldn't call it frightening but it was definitely intense, and a bit unsettling. She moved her thumb in subtle circles for several seconds, smiled and let go, and said she looked forward to discussing plans for the cemetery and that she was glad I was there to help. I nodded, smiled, and said i looked forward to it as well and we left.

Henry was gone like a shot. I could barely keep pace with him, and I was much<b> younger. </font></b>He took me to the small guest bungalow at the Abbey that would be my home until I could get the stone house at the cemetery livable. He gave a set of keys and a list of what they opened. He told me the Abbey had accounts at various stores in Springerville, AZ, the closest town of any size.

He wished me luck and handed me an envelope and said I might need this at some point. I opened it and there was a cashiers check for $6500. I was totally confused and asked him about it. All he said was cash it and keep it safe because I might need it. He shook my hand and left. He seemed petrified for some reason. I watched him drive off and went inside the bungalow. It was twilight and I was tired and hungry. I was SO glad I got 2 sandwiches when I stopped for lunch. I was also happy I had bought some wine. I closed the door and settled in for the evening. There was something in the back of my brain... a memory of some sort that I couldn't latch onto but it had to do with Sister Helene. There was something about that name but I couldn't remember. I ate and had some wine... too much as usual... and fell asleep on the couch.

I can't exactly say which woke me, whether it was the recognition of the name Helene in ancient mythology, or that feeling at the back of my neck. I grabbed my phone; it was 1am. I don't sleep well so waking up wasn't unusual, but I was still a bit unsettled. I went to the kitchen for some water and saw out the kitchen window a processions of candles. I hadn't turned the lights on so it was easier to see. Sister Helene was leading, what I assumed was the entire Abbey, but they were all naked...and heading toward the cemetery. I was stunned, again. I went to Catholic school for 8 years as a boy and I never saw any nuns as gorgeous as these, or naked. This was turning out to be a very strange day. If I only knew.

I had the thought to follow them but i recalled what curiosity can do and it was at that exact moment that the last nun, she was about 5'4" with black hair. She was different from the others in a way I couldn't even describe, even now. She turned and looked directly at the kitchen window. She had piercing blue-grey eyes. I wasn't sure how I knew that but they stopped my breath, if not my heart. She looked at the window as she continued walking boring a hole through it and into me. It was only a few seconds but seemed like hours. She turned away and I breathed.

I looked down at my sweats and noticed I was hard. I shook my head several times trying to clear my mind and shake the 'nigglies." I got my water, locked the door... and bolted it... and went to bed. I had a
fitful sleep with dreams that I still can't see, or touch. Dreams that were both wonderful and terrifying. I suppose it's just as well I couldn't remember them.

I awoke the next morning before dawn, as I always do. For years I thought that birds started singing with the Sun, but they don't. They actually start chirping as the darkness of night barely begins to fade. They are my alarm clock. I hadn't unpacked last night so there would be no smoothie. I took care of the rest of the morning routine got dressed and went outside for my meditation.

The bungalow had a small yard on one side with grass and, what I assumed, was a garden plot on the other because it was south facing. I went to the grass. I do T'ai Chi and Qi Gong every morning, barefoot when i can. It was a nice yard for that. As I was finishing my exercises, I noticed two of the Sisters quickly walking past with flash lights. It was still pretty dark so I don't think they knew I was there, or if they did they were unconcerned.

Curiosity won out this time. I quickly put my shoes on, jumped the small fence surrounding the yard, and followed them. I had never been to an Abbey before but even so, this seemed like a pretty strange
place. My tour of the cemetery, and grounds, was pretty brief but I have always been good with directions and guiding myself in unfamiliar areas. These Sisters were heading to the cemetery, without doubt.

They turned abruptly and headed away from where the stone house would be. When I got to that point I noticed a narrow path through overgrown bushes. I had to duck because, at 6'3," I would never be able to make it unscathed. I definitely had my work cut out for me on this place. As I came through the thicket I saw the sisters walk into an old greenhouse. I mean ancient. It looked almost Victorian, but what would it be doing here. I made a mental note to ask Sister Helene.

Before emerging from the thicket I looked around to orient myself to the area, and to see if anyone else was around. The last thing I needed was to have someone sneak up on me.  Now, I am generally not a
voyeur. Don't get me wrong.... I will gladly watch women whether they are clothed, or not.... who wouldn't. God did some of her best work with the female body, but I also try and respect boundaries. It didn't work this time and I headed to the green house.

One of the reasons I took this job was because I enjoy working outside, and always have. I also like old things - houses, cars, graveyards.... green houses - so it wasn't surprising that I would get sidetracked as I approached this green house. I glanced inside but I didn't see the sisters, however, I thought I could make out what sounded like moaning, but I couldn't be sure. The windows were old, and quite dirty, so seeing inside was challenging.

Dawn was just breaking across the property, and all the birds were going chirp crazy. I didn't want to intrude on the Sisters if they actually were moaning.... OK, maybe I did a little.... instead I focused on the green house proper because it was my job after all. I started to walk around it and look more closely. It was definitely Victorian and it had leaded glass, so I made a note to myself to be VERY careful. I always carry a small notebook and pen with me, thankfully, so I pulled it out of my back pocket and started writing as I continued my inspection.

There are certain parts of our brain whose main function is to keep us safe. They are part of what's called the Limbic system.... the reptilian part of our brain. This is part of the brain that kept our ancient ancestors from getting eaten by God knows what. As I was making notes my Limbic system went bat shit crazy! Thankfully, I had done my practice, so I breathed deeply and calmed myself. I didn't
know who was watching me, but I knew something was, so I did the only thing I could think of to appear like everything was normal; I started talking to myself while I walked and took notes.

I talked about the glass and how fragile if was. I talked about how the metal work looked like lead, and that I needed to research that. I talked about how the brick foundation was in surprisingly good shape
but that I needed to see if I could find out where they were made, and if they were still operating.

I talked as I walked, nonchalant as could be, and that is when I felt someone approaching. It was odd, I didn't hear them approaching, which I almost always can. If you're paying attention the only things you
can't hear approaching are an animal, or a ninja. I never heard a sound, but I certainly felt it. Thankfully.

"Be Cool," I said to myself as I turned around.

Sister Helene was about 8 feet away from me trying to burn a hole through me with her eyes. I yelled out, SHOCKED, as one would if startled. I wasn't, and it was a bit of acting on my part, but I truly
didn't expect to see her.... or that look.

"What are you doing here, Daniel," she demanded.

I am usually very good in stressful times and remain calm. I tend to stress over the small stuff. So I acted while I regained my composure and responded.

"You scared the Bejesus out of me Sister Helene. OH, My God! I'm doing my job. I don't sleep much so I thought I'd walk around and see what was here so I could make plan on what should be done first. You said you wanted to meet this morning and discuss things. I saw this green house, and it looked old, so I was curious and started taking notes. Am I not suppose to be here?" I said innocently.

I can be as pure as the driven snow when I need to be, and I was in that moment. I could have passed a lie detector test with flying colors, and it worked, because she immediately shifted her energy toward me.

She reached out her and thanked me for my diligence, and said that Henry had brought her a good man, and that she was very thankful for that. She also said she would meet at the stone house at 10 am and
then left.

I waited for her to leave and then shuddered. You know, like when your whole body shakes without reason. In the South they say when that happens that someone just walked on your grave. Well, someone had just walked on my grave. The only thing in my mind was that Sister Helene said Henry brought 'her' a good man, and how thankful "she" was. The only thought I had in my mind, at that moment, was I had just kept myself from being breakfast for a predator.....and I'd only been then half a day.

I never found out what the sisters were up to, but I now knew where they went. I also knew that Sister Helene was something to be reckoned with. and that I would have to be alert. It could be my imagination, but I wasn't taking any chances.... ALL my 'nigglies' were were on full alert. I wasn't sure if any of this was real, but the 'nigglies' were doing an Irish jig on the back of neck and I had learned to trust them.

I headed back to the stone house to unpack Bob.

cjg045 69M  
92 posts
12/28/2021 8:45 pm

You Daniel have found the caretaker / nuns story. it's been ages since I've read this story. Enjoy your sabatical be well, Sir, JOE


OlderPete58 63M  
243 posts
12/29/2021 12:54 am

Daniel this intrigues me again the mystic nature of the story in your writing. Is there more to this.

Oh and I hope you are resting.


dadigan 60M  
55 posts
12/29/2021 10:07 am

It was a full story, sort like Take me, put scarier...more ominous... but I could only find the first part.


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