Paul'S PlacE ❗ ⭕❗⭕ ❗⭕
 
Welcome...
These aggregation of stories,
lampoons and irreverent points of view...
occasionally make sense.
I hope you can share my smile.


Once in a while it's nice to sit down.
(* ©April 2018-21 December Paul P. )
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Sex In Jamaica... or in The Kitchen... FrankeeZee Had Hope... 😊
Posted:Nov 4, 2019 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 4:58 pm
24785 Views
I was over at Gina's place - *FrankeeZee's cousin - last Saturday. She and her husband Gino ( yes... Gina and Gino ), had bought a home entertainment system. FrankeeZee and I were crouched in the living room, buried in bubble wrap and styrofoam... hooking it up for them. The house was popping full of screaming and raucous adults.

Gina... and Maria ( another cousin), were sitting in the nearby kitchen - their two babies, crying on their laps. Their four other , were squealing and yelling ; chasing each other round... and under, Gina's large kitchen table.

Amidst the cacophony, the two 'Cousin Moms' jealously critiqued the latest pictures, from (their younger cousin) Lina - on vacation in Jamaica. Maria pointed to the cell phone and exclaimed (to no one in particular) ; "Look at Lina standing there on the beach. A fricken pineapple in her hand , a palm tree by her side... and the fricken ocean in the background. How is she there ... and we're HERE ? HOW ?"

"Condoms, " FrankeeZee blurted out to me, under his breath.

He plugged an RCA jack into the main console. I looked at my buddy and shook my head.

"What? It's true, for fucks sake," he rasped, nodding.

That 'new' wireless sound system we were installing, had speakers, in every room in the house. When FrankeeZee and I did the sound check, I'm not sure if anyone in THAT house, even heard it.

The were busy bursting bubble wrap, as FrankeeZee and I, finally escaped. We waved goodbye to 'all' and scurried into FrankeeZee's Jeep.

Sitting in that driveway, far from the mayhem (content in total silence)... we looked at each other and smiled. FrankeeZee spoke ; "When I have ? They're gonna be quiet . Ya know the type Paul. No screaming and yelling or crazy stuff. "

"How ya gonna manage that, Frankee? You're not into . You don't understand them or like them. You're never gonna have . It's too late for you."

FrankeeZee looked at me, slowly shook his head and smiled wryly. For a second... I thought I'd hurt Frankee's feelings. And then he spoke ; "Paul... get fucking serious! I'm gonna adopt . Hopefully... a university graduate."

FrankeeZee grinned a wide grin. Before I could reply, he'd started the engine, turned on the radio and was cruising out onto the main road. The volume was so loud, we couldn't talk. Just as well. I had nothing to say. What could I say?

I can't see FrankeeZee with , at all. Some folks are built for and some... aren't. Right?

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*FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun
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39 Comments
Breakfast... ☕And A Brazilian Wax... With FrankeeZee... 😮
Posted:Oct 29, 2019 12:20 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:10 pm
25303 Views
Last weekend, * FrankeeZee and I, were anchored a.t that new breakfast spot on Rosemount, over in the east end of the city.

Huge mounds of food and a plethora of enticing aromas engulfed us. 'No one, can safely eat that much bacon and all those pancakes, floating in sooo much maple syrup,' I thought t.o myself. FrankeeZee's laptop was fired up and as usual - he was diligently working on his blog, when he looked up at m.e...

"Hey Paul... After we eat, ya wanna come with me, while I get my balls and ass waxed? I've got an appointment for a 'Brazilian', just down the street."

I almost choked on my coffee, as I stared at my buddy. "Why the fuc.k... would I wanna do that?"

"Cause you need a lift home? And I want you t.o film it... for my blog."

I looked at my friend and blinked. "So your goal is t.o look, like a pubescent t.een? I guess your new girlfriend put you up t.o this?"

"As a matter of fact, it's a popular thing in Florida. I.m doing research into women and men and the shit they do, to get their kink on. Part of the 'Self Help Series', on my blog. Did you know that a New Yorker, invented 'Brazilian Waxing'?"

I'd almost lost my appetite for the beans, hash browns and eggs, piled on my plate. But then the waitress, served the fresh fruit. We ate like pigs. The eventual walk to that 'esthetic parlor', was a slow one, as we waddled down the street and finally stepped inside.

I never ended up in the actual room, with FrankeeZee. Linda - his girlfriend from Florida - showed up and (thankfully) took over camera duties. I sat in the waiting room. Periodically I'd hear a scream and an encouraging ; "You go b.aby ," from Linda.

As I sat, a burp accidentally escaped and a thought materialized. Those breakfast places popping up all around, are overrated, no? I mean... how much rich food can one person enjoy, before their stomach gives o.ut? Mine was about to... just as FrankeeZee, gingerly walked out of that room.

He had a sheepish grin, painted on his f.ace. His girlfriend was smiling from ear to ear, excitedly waving her camera screen a.t m.e; showing m.e shots of 'sheer shorn' Frankee. "Paul... Paul... Ya gotta go get one. It's so hot," she exclaimed, giggling.

I clutched my stomach. Tooo many waffles.

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So....
What do you think of Breakfast joints... and Brazilian Wax jobs?
Not together... mind you.
🙄🤔

*FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun
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47 Comments
It Was Saturday Night... She Walked Into The Shadows... and Paused... 😶
Posted:Oct 26, 2019 6:19 pm
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2019 8:00 am
24657 Views
She walked down the stairs and strutted through the door, into the dimly lit bar. A brisk gust of wind and a stylish black dress (framing long slim legs), announced her arrival. She stood there... with a quizzical pout. Seven pairs of eyes leaned towards her.

It was one of those quiet clubs. You know the type ; varnished oak wood everywhere, a long marble bar, and small candle lit tables. A cluster of hopeful, well dressed men, commiserated alone... in the dar They rarely got lucky and never succeeded, with a new face. Repetition and bad habits and 'nowhere else go' - defined their purpose. She walked amongst their grey shadows and paused...

Was she lost? Or looking for someone? The men held themselves back yet each... wanted lunge. She cozied up the edge of the bar and asked a question. "Is this place called 'Winnie's'? We're supposed meet here."

The bartender put down the glass he was wiping and leaned over her ; "No. 'Winnie's' is next door. But we have a 'happy hour'. Go meet your friend and come back here. Ya like jazz? We got a trio playing later."

She looked at him and smiled. "Thanks. I may just do that."

With a flip of her head and a cascading flourish of her jet black hair, she pushed herself away and walked back out... from where she came.

Seven pairs of eyes, slowly dipped into their drinks and sipped the night... a little deeper into oblivion . There was still hope. The regulars hadn't yet shown up.

Kinda reminds you of this place, in some ways - doesn't it ? Except... everyone, has a drink in their hands.

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Ever go into a bar like that? 🎃🍷🍸
Whatcha y'all doing tonight ? 🤔
32 Comments
Couples... Have Conversations... And Make Plans... And Have Sex... 😊 🔥
Posted:Oct 24, 2019 12:03 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 5:35 pm
23799 Views
I was part of a couple ... once. We'd have sex from time to time. I also remember (when we weren't 'doing it' ), the reassuring warmth I'd feel, as we'd playfully snuggle up next to each other and discuss new plans and adventures. As I think back now, many 'great ideas' - went south. I recall one day...

She finally found the tennis rackets, that were lost in the closet. She looked at me gleefully and smiled. "We should see if Greg and Andrea wanna play doubles."

"That's a great idea," I replied. "It will be..."

"... fucking STUPID ...! " she shouted angrily at me (drenched in sweat), hours later. We'd lost seven straight sets.

Then there was the time, I'd dug up the picnic basket. I had always boasted how much fun, picnics in the forest were. I carefully packed it up with wine and cheese and all sorts of goodies... and proudly announced to her ; "Now I'll show you exactly why ..."

"... I HATE... fucking mosquitoes," she yelled at me (that afternoon), while smacking another one off her thigh." Did you even bring, the fucking spray? Why do I have to do everything for you?"

Or the moment I pulled out our tent, from under some clutter in the garage. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking ?" I looked at her.

She giggled back at me and excitedly replied; "Camping is sooo much..."

"... fucking BULLSHIT !" I bellowed at her, as we drove out of that monsoon flooded camp site.

On another occasion, I had a well intentioned notion - to take her fishing. She was eager to try it out. I prepared her for the experience ; "Wait ... till we get out on that beautiful, long pier."

"I know," she laughed back at me, while hurriedly packing up the car. "I've got a feeling, that this is gonna be..."

"... shittier than I thought... it EVER could be," she whined to me after many fishless hours, in the blazing summer sun.

And of course, I'll always think back fondly, to the year we decided to host - Christmas dinner - at our home. I looked at her, as I helped set the beautiful table. Carols played in the background, as I spoke ; "You know? I'm happy we're having everyone, over here. "

She lovingly leaned over and kissed me and replied ; "Me too. I am genuinely excited about getting everyone ..."

"... to fucking leave , as SOON as possible," she hissed to me, later that evening. The turkey, hadn't been served yet.

That's the way, a lot of our adventures worked out. Couples have dialogues and make plans. Single people have monologues and just - do it. I don't mind the monologues. At least I'm not hearing the words - ' Go fuck yourself' - as often.


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You must have your own favorite conversations, adventures and some good ideas - that went bad... right? 🤔
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41 Comments
Sounds Of Sex... Are Universal... Everyone Knows Them... 😊 🔥💦
Posted:Oct 22, 2019 12:29 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2020 2:37 pm
23976 Views
This morning, I was stuck in traffic (lost somewhere in space), when the guy behind me, startled me by blasting his horn. I moved forward ten feet. It got me thinking...

Sound ... is an interesting, undervalued sense , that many of us - find t.o be a nuisance . We'll complain ; "The music is deafening. She's not talking, she's yelling. Will someone shut those dogs up?". And then there are the sounds we utter and crave ... when we make love . Do you know them all?

1. Moans and Groans : Extremely popular with both men and women. Occasionally into a neck or a pillow. At a loss for words? Try a moan. Self-conscious about being loud? Use your 'library voice' while having an orgasm.

2. Dirty Talk : I won't bother listing examples. Your mind is already filling in the blanks. You've probably experimented, with whatever came to your head.

3. Heavy Breathing and Panting : Rushed, deep, filled with lust and a clue... that you're really close! You're giving it your best shot and loving every moment of it.

4. The whisper : It might be intimate ... or do you have roommates? Are you afraid to wake up the or arouse your neighbours?

5. Grunts : Rhythmic and paired with thrusting and a look that says ;"Oh yeah baby... This feels good. Fuck me!"

6. A Yelp or Squeal : Confusing at first, it usually means something really good happened. Can you try that again? Did someone touch a nerve? You bet they did.

7. Slurping : Stuff happens, with a mouth - full - of saliva and him/her.

8. Sloosh : That sound a penis makes when it slides into and along the velvet walls of a perfectly wet vagina. Ya know what I mean? I could also have said vagina 'farts'. They're the ones that you make 'doggy style', when air gets trapped? Cute!

9. Yelling : “Oh yeah, you like that baby ?”  Takes a bit of getting used to. If the neighbours and don't mind - why should you care. Yell all you want!

10. The Announcement : “I’m coming.” Your partner loves to get this information in a timely manner. Gives them a chance to prepare, by removing a mouth, holding a pair of balls, clutching a breast or devouring each other with a kiss.

11. Screaming : Letting the world know, that you're having the time of your life. And what's wrong with that?

12. Dead Silence : And now we've come full circle. I read somewhere that, twelve percent of women and eight percent of men, say they like... total silence . Where all they can hear is the sound of their lover's heart beat and the wetness of their kisses.

Some sounds are priceless and soo much fun to listen to. Not, that fricken truck horn blaring behind me though. I inched my car forward... another ten feet.

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So...
What's your favorite sound in the bedroom?
🤔
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53 Comments
Jailhouse Sex Will Have to Wait... At Least For Now...😮
Posted:Oct 17, 2019 12:46 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:11 pm
24491 Views
Anal Sex ... Who thinks about it, right? I've been thinking about it a lot... and not in that good way. Jailhouse sex, is just not a dream of mine. Yesterday I got a phone call, that allayed my fears.

Do you recall a month or so ago, where I mentioned that I got into a dubious, touch of trouble and was arrested? There was this question of how, a can of Campbell's soup, got into a bag I carried ; where there was no receipt for the purchase?

In fact... the entire event, was a touch more intriguing. In any case, I will not be going to prison. Charges were dismissed. Which pleases me, to no end. I'm thrilled! And yet... at the same time, this brings up some whimsical hopes I had.

Hardship, pathos and suffering - breed successful art. Don't they? History confirms my theory.

Springing back from this challenge, I thought I might write something profound ; craft that song and those perfect lyrics. Perhaps take that poignant picture ; depicting couples in love. I was definitely preparing for that - jail 'shower scene' . I'd even practiced juggling soap... just in case. I never bought the hair brush or the lube - for 'self practise'. Although... I thought about it.

Now... I feel like a changed man. And I will never get caught, stealing anything again. More importantly, I'll chalk this up to experience and move on. I am a better person, in spite of that event. I'll be good, from now on... mostly.

A lady friend of mine cheerfully offered to peg me... in case I really want to know what it feels like. I'm not really thinking about it... 🤔

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So...
Can people change?

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62 Comments
Stuff Happens... When Squirrels Get Involved...😕
Posted:Oct 14, 2019 12:48 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:12 pm
21342 Views
Preparing for stuff to happen ; we do it all our lives, right?

Preparing for school, preparing for work, for dinner, for an exam... for the right opportunity. We even prepare for death. That summer (many years ago), I prepared to go to Scout camp. I assigned my parents one duty, while I was away ; take care of my little and my tiny turtle. That's... all I wanted. Guess what?

When I came back from camp, I realized something was strange. My hadn't come to the door to greet me. I asked my parents to explain. Mom suddenly blurted out ; "Your is dead."

I was shocked and devastated. "How can you just say that Mom? You can't just blurt stuff like that out. Ya have to prepare me! You coulda said ; '... your was playing in the yard, chasing a squirrel, when he ran out into the street... and got hit a car'. Well Mom? Ya coulda said something like that. Prepared me... you know? I looked at mom and dad sadly. Dad looked at mom, then at me... and spoke...

"... your turtle was playing in the yard, chasing a squirrel...."

I wasn't pleased with my parents' ability to follow simple directions and keep gates and cages locked. Several months later, my parents walked into my room and began a sentence ; "... your grandmother was playing in the yard... "

I didn't have to hear much more. I knew Granny got hit a car, while chasing a squirrel. But at least I was prepared. And who doesn't want to be prepared - you know what I mean?

Or do you prefer surprises? 🤔

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31 Comments
Gold 👑 vs Standard Membership... The Difference... Will Shock You 😲
Posted:Oct 11, 2019 12:29 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2019 12:23 pm
21324 Views
I've been both a Gold👑... and a Standard member - here on A F F . I enjoy each , for different reasons. However there are differences. What are they? I asked members, their opinions and thoughts. I then massaged all those points of view and gently compressed them for you, in a succinct review.

.

Gold Membership ; is like being, a really fast dolphin , swimming across the expansive seas and oceans of the world, frolicking freely in the deepest fathoms, through all shades... of blue. You go and come... when you want and you feed... at your leisure .

.

Standard Membership ; is like being, a goldfish, in an aquarium. It's nice and colorful... and full of bubbles. But you're grateful, very soon, that your goldfish memory , only lasts - seven and a half seconds. Since it only lasts that long, you're oblivious as you wait - forever - by the surface for those flakes of food... periodically dropped your way.


.

Other than THAT ; Gold👑 and Standard Memberships are identical .
Sort of... 😶


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51 Comments
Go write on a REAL website... With a REAL blog... Fucker! 😳😮
Posted:Oct 10, 2019 12:12 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2019 1:28 pm
20942 Views
It was two in the morning. He was still up, watching sports highlights and charging the phone. The e. mail emoji chimed. He tapped his cell open... and raised his eyebrows... as he read, what she wrote.

"You are so full of shit ! You think you're so smart and glib! You think you're so witty and funny! Well you're not! You're just an asshole, who plays with words and manipulates people's feelings!

You think you can write? You think you're better than everyone?
You can't write worth shit! You're just a conceited dick, with an ego the size of your head! Get a grip and look around. Do you have a life, outside the fantasy you've created, on THAT site? You're a sociopath. Get some mental help!

You want to write? Go write on a REAL website, with a REAL blog, fucker! See how far you get! And stop harassing me! "


He looked at her words and blinked. He was confused... to say the least. "Hey... stuff happens, right?" he mumbled to himself. What had he done, to deserve THAT e.m.ail, from her? It's not like they were an exclusive couple or anything. He thought they were getting along... really well.

He was still in shock and slowly... very slowly, began composing his response ; when his phone... chimed again.

"So sorry! SO, SO SORRY! My bad! That e.m.ail, wasn't for YOU. It was for somebody else. I messed up! Disregard and DELETE. Please!
Hugs...
❤️💕💋"

"Somebody else? Who... was her intended recipient?" he sat befuddled. He did as she suggested and deleted the e.m.ail. Then... pausing... he quicky recovered 'it' from the 'Trash' and saved 'it' - just in case. He wondered if she really had , made a mistake ; or was her note, a drunken - 'truth serum' - misstep. Perhaps... that's how she really felt about him?

He wasn't sure.

Her suggestion that he look into alternative blog sites - was a good one. Her other suggestion - get some mental help? Well... he Googled ; 'Am I a narcissist or a sociopath?'.

He wasn't sure about that either. .

.........................................
So...
Ever pressed 'Enter' ... and then regretted it?
🤔
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55 Comments
Is It Love... Or Does She Just... Reeeelee Like You... 🤔
Posted:Oct 7, 2019 12:18 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:20 pm
20412 Views
He liked her.

Although he'd only known her for a few hours - he knew - he could learn to 'like' her... even more . The DJ played another tune. He held her tightly in his arms... enjoying the warmth of her breasts and softness of her skin, as he held his cheek against hers. She draped her arms tightly around his neck ; admiring the strength in his arms and the firmness, of his shoulders.

They'd been slow dancing, u.nder the glow, of dark shadows and in the path of music... that was too loud, for any conversation. They both, became familiar with each other's curves and bumps. Wet tongues explored open mouths. Eyes closed, as they would... when you inhale someone's essence, for the first time. Their mutual exploration reached a zenith, just as the last ballad played and the final notes... faded into the walls. On cue... large overhead lights, flooded the club with unholy brilliance.

They both stood... momentarily blinded.

He hoped he was good looking enough , for her - in that magnesium glare. He braced himself as she squinted at him and paused. Then... peering into his eyes, she gently stroked his jaw, with the tips of her fingers, ran her hand through his thick, black hair... and spoke...

"Ya know... once my eyes adjust to this fricken light... and a few more drinks... I'd be happy... to sit on your f.ace ," she blurted o.ut, laughing.

Leaning forward on her toes, she kissed him, with giddy enthusiasm. He kissed her back ; grateful that he'd found her. In that moment... he knew - he liked her a lot ! "It might even be LOVE ."

His thought was interrupted, as he choked on her tongue... when she grabbed his balls.


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'Like', 'Lust', 'Love' - are they all clearly defined, with different conclusions ; Or can they all wind up in the bedroom anyway ? 🤔
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48 Comments
Sex With Your Boss... Not Always A Good Idea... 😊
Posted:Oct 3, 2019 1:23 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 5:44 pm
20372 Views
I had a meeting this morning, at work...

The office was sparse. Two brown leather arm chairs faced a large teak wood desk. A phone and a small lamp, framed the sides of the polished surface. Horizontal shades, hid a broad window, casting an ivory glow behind the shadow figure, who sat in the tall chair. She rocked back... and forth. Her hands were clenched ; her knuckles white.

Linda adjusted her glasses, smiled sweetly, then... glared at me from behind her desk ; "If you're wrong, if your information and advice are wrong ; if this deal fucks up? I can assure you, that I will fire your ass, then sue your pathetic net worth into extinction . And then I'll make sure that your family... lives on the streets... for the rest of their lives. Do you understand me Paul ?" She seethed.

Without blinking - expressionless - I stood up from my chair, put my hands on Linda's desk and leaned forward. I replied to her, in a raspy whisper.

"Unlike you Linda. I have nothing to lose. My family? They'll be fine. I'll be fine. You .... on the other hand....will have to do something other, than fire and sue me. Because I can assure you, you're life... will be the last thing I would ever care less ... about messing with. You don't know.... who you're fucking with. Does your husband know about us? I'll bet he'd be curious, to see the videos and texts - I have ready for him. You're a fucking zombie to me. You... keep up your end of the bargain and we'll be fine. Do your job. Understand ?"

Silence echoed... off bare walls, as I turned my back. The heels of my shoes, clicking off the marble floors... were the only sounds, I heard. I didn't have to see, to know panick and fear, had gripped Linda's throat and turned her perfect complexion... a sickly, pale green.

I was suddenly nudged, in the elbow...

"Paul... Paul? Come on buddy. You daydreaming or something? Let's go to lunch. How was your meeting this morning with Linda? Heard you guys nailed that big contract?"

"We did," I replied to Eduardo as I stood up from my chair. "We certainly did."

I gotta stop binge watching, police detective, porn mysteries. I think they're MESSING ... with my head.

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It's nice to have an open, understanding, relationship at work... isn't it? 🤔
Sex with your boss or co-worker anyone?

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43 Comments
Sexy... Horny... Happy and Lucky - No... NOT The New Dwarfs 🤔
Posted:Sep 30, 2019 12:16 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:16 pm
20225 Views
I live in a large city, filled with splattered rainbows, of peculiar people. While on the subway, I overhear bits of their chatter. I'll usually stumble into fragments, that compel me... to pause.

This morning, I was in a packed train on the Green Line, heading downtown. I stood above two women, in their twenties. The one with the dark brown hair, was lamenting about her ex-boyfriend and - still current - room mate.

"I hate him. He sneaks his dirty clothes, into my laundry basket. The next thing ya know, I'm pulling four pairs of boxers, outta the washer. Yeah... he's SEXY ... but he's soo fricken lame. I'm almost sorry, I slept with him."

Her blond haired friend, scowled in sympathy ; "And he's soo full of himself. The way he struts around your apartment in his jeans... and stares at me. I'm soo glad, I never slept with him," then she paused, thoughtfully. "Don't you wish we were lesbians... at some point? It would be soo much easier."

They got off at the next stop...

... and these two, senior ladies carefully sat down and took their place. The gray haired woman turned to the one, sitting by the window and spoke.

"I'm going to Roger and Mary's home on Sunday... for dinner. Ya know Roger, had a mild stroke last month. It's his left side, nothing too serious. It's gonna make it really easy, for me to grope him, when I'm HORNY . He always puts up a struggle, if he thinks his wife is looking."

Her window friend, nodded her head up and down and replied ; "Really... Hmmm... "

The gray haired woman, stared at her window friend and shouted ; "Helen... you're deaf. Put on , your damn hearing aide. I was joking ."

The train roared through the tunnel. One of the teenagers behind me, bellowed to his buddy, in that loud way that teens talk.

"Mike... you remind me of Robert Downy Junior, when he was on drugs... and a lot of fun. Why the fuck, are you always smiling?"

Mike replied ; "If you smile all the time, you can trick your brain into thinking - that you're happy ! "

"Makes sense... smart ," I thought. The one not named Mike, continued talking.

"Ya know... I read that in prison, if they don't like you, they'll duct tape a snorkel to your mouth and then someone, will piss into it. True ! "

Mike, the happy philosopher, replied ;"Well... why wouldn't they like me? Everyone does!"

The train had stopped at the next station. I was nudged in the elbow, by Mike, as he pointed to an empty seat; "Go ahead sir."

"Oh for fucks sake, I'm not that old," I wanted to say. Instead I replied ; "Thanks. I'm good."

He smiled at me and squeezed in, next to his buddy. He did look HAPPY . As I turned my back to him, I practised my smile. A man in front of me, smiled back and waved. My smile... needs more work. The train sped up.

You know... occasionally, the conversations I overhear on the subway, are much more entertaining, than the shit I read on the internet.

Today... I got LUCKY and practised my smile.

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Do you ever feel lucky and play the lotto ; or is your Retirement Plan, a more thoughtful one? 🤔
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46 Comments
I Had A Conference Call... With the CEO and CIO of A F F...😊
Posted:Sep 26, 2019 12:01 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:20 pm
21174 Views
With all the recent quibbles and foibles of A F F , the website and its handling of various issues here ; I decided to escalate my concerns to the highest authority possible. No... not God ! I called up A F F headquarters and arranged a video conference call between myself and the head honchos there ; the CIO and CEO of A F F. What transpired.... was epic .

When the A F F secretary to the CIO, called me back and confirmed the date and time of the meeting, I was somewhat surprised. Then again... not really ; I am (after all), Paulxx001 . Monday night, midnight EST ; nine o'clock their time - was Zero Hour . I fired up my desktop and pulled out my notes.

Right on schedule, they called. The initial greetings were polite. They preferred not to use their REAL names and suggested I just call them - Bob. Kinda confusing... but I went with it. I noticed cans of beer, a bottle of Jack and other alcohol on their meeting room table. I didn't feel shy, sipping my vodka slushy, as we got down to business.

The first item I brought up, was the issue of - missing and deleted words - from the blogs. Bob - the CIO - addressed that point, by saying ; "Paul... we're aware of the problem and we're looking into it. We've outsourced our IT development to China. And those fucking Chinese... well... they lied to us, about how much English they knew. But we're working on it. We're sending them English dictionaries. That glitch, should be resolved soon. "

I felt relieved. The second item, was - the elimination, of the three, free IM's - for Standard members. Bob... the CEO, took the lead and replied ; "Well... we know it's a hardship, but someone's gotta pay for our salaries. It ain't coming out of the pockets, of those fucking Standard members - right? Fuck em. Maybe they should get jobs and dish out three beers worth of cash, for a monthly priveledge. Huh?"

Not quite the answer I was expecting, but I admired his frankness. At that point, we decided to take a bathroom break. One of the Bobs really had to go and the other Bob, needed a fresh beer. I was parched and welcomed the pause, to grab a refill.

As I opened my fridge door and poured another slushy into my mug, I smiled to myself ; "These A F F execs, are regular people... just like you and me."

I scurried back to my computer and waited for the Bobs, to make their appearance on screen. I heard noises in the background. It was a woman moaning and panting. One of the Bobs, popped into view. Something important had come up and they'd have to conclude the call. But... he suggested, that we do it again soon. Perhaps next week or next month? We left it open ended. As we said goodbye, that lady in the background began to plead ; " Oh God... YES!"

Were they having a prayer session... this late?

"Well... that whole experience was nice," I thought to myself. I learned some things that I didn't know. And I walked away from the encounter, with renewed respect , for the leaders of our tribe .

I think... we're in good hands here. Don't you? 🤔

.......................................
. ..
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