Paul'S PlacE ❗ ⭕❗⭕ ❗⭕
 
Welcome...
These aggregation of stories,
lampoons and irreverent points of view...
occasionally make sense.
I hope you can share my smile.


Once in a while it's nice to sit down.
(* ©April 2018-21 December Paul P. )
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Rooms... Have No Idea What's Going On In Them...🔥😶
Posted:Mar 9, 2020 9:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2020 11:56 pm
76563 Views
Darkness was our ally as we scuttled under tree branches, across a short cut... and up the steps to my house. We laughed, breathlessly... as we burst through the front door.

Clothes were thrown off... flung impatiently on the floor. As I turned, you lunged and wrapped your arms around my neck. Your command to kiss you ; was whispered in my ear. As you smiled you closed your eyes and pressed your silky body against mine. I greeted your lips and pushed you backwards - harshly - while lifting you up against the wall. Your legs twisted themselves around me like a wrestler with her prey. Tongues tangled ; we balanced and gasped for air. I felt your heart beating. I inhaled your breath. Your hands raked my shoulders as you arched your back, beckoning me... to touch your moist heat. I did...

We never made it past the living room... as I recall.

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26 Comments
Two Things You Can Do... To Make Her Hum... 🔥❤️
Posted:Mar 3, 2020 9:56 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 4:10 pm
68190 Views
You can find a tiny bit of wisdom and a smidgen of irony, in strange places ; you just have keep your eyes and ears open and sometimes, they fall right onto your lap. Take yesterday for instance.

As usual, I was driving home and trapped - once again - in snarled traffic. My radio was blaring when I heard these words spoken.

"When you fall in love, you fall in love with that person - in spite of their imperfections."

You might think it was a remark from ; a 'love doctor' or an inspirational 'thought for the day'. In fact, it was part of an advertisement for - of all things - a store selling appliances, that are slightly dinged or scratched. What a captivating by-line to push a product. The announcer also promised ; more than fifty percent off, with a guaranteed 'great deal'.

Ironically - back in the day - my spouse and I went to THAT store and bought a huge side by side fridge. When we first examined that stainless steel behemoth and all its (supposed) imperfections we accepted it, fell in love with it and brought it home. It had a few scratches and a small dent, but that ice box was a beast. She still IS a beast. I own it to this very day!

It's a sombre paradox that my wife and I could live contently, with an imperfect gadget, but we couldn't - live with each other's nicks and dents. Our union... eventually dissolved.

My old fridge? She can still fricken flash freeze burning magnesium - in five seconds! Sure... every once in a while the motor buzzes a bit. I nudge her on the side or jiggle her a touch and - she continues to hum.

If it were only that easy, right ? I didn't think about it back then, but perhaps a nudge here and a jiggle there... might have saved a marriage.

Nah... I don't think so.

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53 Comments
This Lie... Could Result In A Hot Conclusion... 🔥😊
Posted:Feb 26, 2020 6:58 am
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2020 7:36 am
53928 Views
The other night, my buddy *FrankeeZee and I were in that classy Italian restaurant (down on Lakeshore Boulevard), enjoying dinner. I've known Frankee for years, yet he still, manages to surprise me.

I hadn't seen him in a while and it was nice to catch up on things. The meal was authentic and the ambiance, casually quiet ; except for our constant laughter. We waited for the coffee. Suddenly, out through the kitchen marched a loud flurry of waiters.

They were carrying a scrumptious looking piece of black forest cake - bedecked with flashing sparklers. I looked around. We were the only people sitting in THAT corner of the room, yet they headed directly towards our table singing...

"... Happy birthday dear Frankee... Happy birthday to you... "

Frankee's birthday - is in July. I looked at him as he smiled from ear to ear. After they'd gone and while he dug into his cake, I asked him what the fuck, he was doing? He grinned at me (with his stuffed, cherubic cheeks) and replied.

"Well Paul... I've started to tell every restaurant I go to - that it's my birthday. It cheers me up regardless of the type of day I've had. Makes me feel special. And the wait staff seem to enjoy singing. You should try it. Maybe, ya wouldn't be so fucking sarcastic all the time and... you'd write better blogs."

I looked at him and blinked. I had to admit, his cake looked damn good and who doesn't like to feel special?

We had paid and were about to leave, when the manager sauntered up to us with a tray of flaming shots of Sambuca - compliments of the 'house'. I felt like a happy hypocrite as we all cheerfully toasted to Frankee's fake birthday. FrankeeZee, was onto something good!

Now if only... he hadn't accidentally set that manager's hair on fire.

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*FrankeeZee is a top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun
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36 Comments
The Easiest Way To Get Noticed In A Crowd😶... Is By Doing This...❗
Posted:Feb 18, 2020 12:44 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 5:28 pm
47847 Views
Unfortunately... I knew that assembly, was going be long and dull. Fortunately... I spied an empty seat next Linda, my favorite co-worker. Strategically... she had carefully chosen a place, at the back. And y'all know what happens at the back of a large meeting hall with a bunch of bored sales reps, right?

We had all bustled into that carpeted auditorium and clamored for spots, like at a carnival. Linda waved her hand and motioned to me. Clutching my sealed coffee mug I weaved between shoulders and around elbows and finally, sank into the deep, cushioned chair, beside her. Linda was a seasoned sales pro (a few years younger than me), with an acerbic sense of humour and a quick wit. If I had a kryptonite, it would be funny people who could make me laugh - and she could. The lights dimmed. A hush fell over the hall...

She whispered into my ear. "Paul... quick guess - how many people in this room had sex over the weekend?"

Those managers probably hadn't. They strutted onto the stage with those expressionless gazes pasted on their faces - squinted into the bright lights - and then they posed. Yet, I had a feeling that sales, were ... and guess what? They were, although I could barely tell. As the figures flashed a huge screen, I heard a gush of "Ahh"s and then, a murmur of "Ooh"s.

"They look average. What's so special about THAT number?" I nodded towards Linda while pointing.

"For ... it has be at least, seven and a half, before I'll give it an 'Ooh'," she replied without blinking.

The program droned on until eventually it touched other items on the agenda. They announced - amidst much applause and many hoots and hollers from his friends - that Robert, was getting married next weekend.

Linda looked at . "Well... THAT'S an expensive way let everyone know that you're getting fucked on Saturday."

The guy sitting in front of us, overheard Linda's remark and laughed loudly. People turned look at him. I covered my smile with my hands.

As they were about declare the names of the winners - for a 'wild weekend of bungee jumping and tacos'- Linda leaned towards me and shared another thought.

"I'm NEVER going to bungee jump. I was born because of a broken rubber and I'm not going to fucking die the same way."

That guy in front of us, burst out laughing once again. He couldn't stop - as the whole auditorium turned and stared. Some people just can't keep it in. As for me? I was biting my lip real hard, as I thought...

"Are business meetings the most inappropriate places to start laughing, or is there another place worse?"
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28 Comments
Want To Have A Second Date? ❤️ Don't Do THIS... After The First... 😮
Posted:Feb 13, 2020 6:56 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 4:04 pm
40033 Views
It was morning and snow had begun fall in blinding white clumps. Traffic was snarled as I watched my wipers flip back and forth... and back and forth. My daze was suddenly fractured - by a gaggle of obnoxiously cheerful radio voices; "And we have, Steve on the line."

Steve, turned out be a lucky contestant for the daily five hundred dollar - 'Valentine's Giveaway'. Steve's perfect first date with a woman (Cindy), never materialized into another rendezvous. I listened to his tale of an exciting, whimsical evening of wining and dining and dancing... and then Steve had been ignored; seemingly, without cause. The contest prize? Get Steve and Cindy back on track with a lavish all expense paid, second chance.

The radio hosts would try and reach Cindy and put her on the air. They advised stay tuned. Snow fell heavily as I sat there in my car. I took their advice... and waited. Like, I had a fricken choice?

There's a hush that leans in and fills your mind, when you're driving on roads with a cushion of snow on them. You glide in muffled slow motion, as if on plush blankets of thick cotton... sliding - more or less where you aim. I aimed away from the ditch and followed the lights of the cars in front of me. It was hypnotic ; a soothing silencer for the crazy chatter normally filling my head.

My tiny state of nirvana fizzled ; when guess who, came on 'live radio'? Ya got it - Cindy!

She was confused at first and then too shy and nervous to say much about anything. But those hosts kept pushing and finally provoked an answer with a blunt question; "Cindy... Steve thought that it was a great first date. Why didn't you ever see him again?"

"It was a wonderful night. We had a great time. I'd never met anyone like him. I thought... and then..." Cindy stammered.

The radio hosts pushed harder. "And then what? WHAT happened?"

"The next day, he sends me a message with a fucking dick pic."

Gotta love Montreal radio - no filters. Her remark was greeted with shock and laughter. Things got worse when Steve's voice chimed into the conference call fray.

"I didn't mean anything bad by it. I just wanted to show you what to expect and..."

And Cindy... concluded the conversation by hanging up. Dial tone... more laughter and shock, resonated through my speakers.

The radio hosts weren't done yet ; asking Steve if his 'little fella' was alert in that picture he'd sent. Steve replied with ; "Well if you wanna get someone's attention, you're not sending a ship out to sea at half mast."

So... the key to getting a 'second' date IS - don't flash a dick pic, after the 'first' date. Good safety tip. I'm sure there are others, aren't there?

The car in front of me had stalled. I didn't care. I was still laughing... while wondering who'd be on tomorrow's show. Perhaps, I'd be able to pick up more dating advice?

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53 Comments
Nuns Prefer... the Missionary Position... 😮🔥
Posted:Jan 27, 2020 12:02 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2020 8:58 am
35862 Views
It was early Sunday morning. I opened a bottle of wine - a refreshing Chablis - and poured myself a glass. I'd started a project to rid my house of clutter... but who does housework sober?

The TV played in the background as a church choir soothed my soul. I pulled on my work gloves. I recalled reading on the web, that nuns prefer the missionary position. It must be true ; but I'll ask... next time I see one.

When you go through your stuff, it's amazing to see how much useless junk you can accumulate. A frayed and worn size 30 belt, taxes from ninety six; I think not. I found an unused coffee gift card - from the year two thousand. Damn! Ya think I can still use it?

The church service continued to inspire me, as I refilled my glass. Did you know that most of us will be going to hell? I'm pretty sure I've got a 'speed pass' waiting for me - so I'm all set.

I'd filled up two more garbage bags with debris and my count (since I started last week), was now up to ten. I felt a sense of accomplishment. I took a break and dug into my fridge for the wine.

Flopping back down on the couch, I looked around at all that I'd done. Nothing looked different. Nothing had changed. In fact (from what I saw), I might as well have sat there on the couch... drinking fucking wine all morning.

The golf channel flashed and Tiger Woods teed off . I'd continue with the clean up, another day. I rose from the couch ; my glass was half empty again... or was it half full?

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25 Comments
Dick and Jane Ran... Then Fucked... 🔥😮
Posted:Jan 24, 2020 11:29 am
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2020 4:35 pm
31831 Views
Part of my 'Eezzee Reed Series' ; for those who find words tiresome.
Plenty of pics though.
👍 😶
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See Dick.
See Dick run.
Run Dick run.

See Jane.
See Jane run.
Run Jane run.

See Dick and Jane run.

See Spot, the dog.
See Spot - the dog - run past them, all the way down the block.

Oh... for fucks sake!
Who forgot to close the gate to the yard?

After they'd caught Spot, they went back to the house (showered) and fucked each other's brains out. Ugh... I meant ; they made passionate love together.

Dick and Jane had a good morning as they both came in each other's arms.
🔥💦














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36 Comments
He Thrust Into Her... As She Moaned Against The Headboard... 🔥😮
Posted:Jan 22, 2020 10:44 am
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 5:31 pm
30407 Views
It was late and I was tired. I looked forward to a quick meal and the hotel bed that beckoned. But when you travel... things don't always turn out as planned, do they?

I recognized immediately, that my company had booked me into a really classy place. The TV was bolted to the ceiling and secured with one of those thick, shiny, chrome chains. I called room service, but they'd closed at eight. I looked at my watch - it was ten thirty. At least it was quiet : the walls must have been well insulated. The couple next door soon proved me wrong - over and over again - all fucking night.

By her third orgasm, I kinda had a feel for what she liked. Oral pleasure spurred her to great heights as she squealed with delight. I could actually feel his strength, as his thrusts pushed her body up against the headboard of their bed. The rhythmic thumping drove a gentle vibration through the walls - along my bed - and massaged my back.

I peeled off my socks and searched for the television remote ; 'Top Gun' (with Tom Cruise) was playing. Someone lectured his character, Maverick; "The end is inevitable. Your kind is headed towards extinction."

"Maybe... but not today," Tom replied confidently.

The lady next door was praying - to a god - once again. She screamed at the appropriate moment, just as Tom's jet hit the clouds and released a missile. A short time later, I heard a knock at my door. An errant pizza destined for my amorous neighbours had arrived. It wasn't a total loss. I picked up a menu from the delivery guy and an hour later, I was being fed. Oh... and Tom? Well he gets the girl, at the end.

Which was exactly what that guy next door was doing... just as the movie credits rolled. I've had worse stays in hotels. I shouldn't complain ; I'm indentured to work forever, so I'm used to hardship. To be truthful, the pizza was good... and who doesn't like Tom?

I settled in - for 'Mission Impossible' - as the woman in the other room moaned. My bed began to vibrate. Damn... I used to have stamina like that.

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31 Comments
If Someone Were To Ask... How Would You Describe Yourselves... 🤔
Posted:Jan 20, 2020 12:41 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2020 2:23 am
26520 Views
He wondered, if someone were to ask him about her - and seek a description or a noun - he wouldn't know what to say.

Were they lovers or did they simply benefit from friendship? Was it possible they were more? He was almost convinced ; or was that simply lust, pretending to be something else? He was confused, about which words to use.

Especially... since they'd never met.

Sometimes, you can try too hard to make things fit. For many it would still be nice, to have to answer a question like that... once in a while.

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21 Comments
Do All Watches Look Alike... Being Me Has It.s Privileges... 🤔
Posted:Jan 16, 2020 12:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2020 9:55 pm
25282 Views
"Being me has its privileges..." was what he said, just before he grinned and disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

There was a Harry Potter festival on TV the other night and that wizard had the power to dissolve into thin air. I wondered what I'd do with such a skill? I think I'd forgo THAT power and just practice the other spell. You know, the one that makes all the other cars vanish and finds the perfect parking spot - in a jammed mall. For fucks sake... I thought the crazy season was over!

Inside the vast expanse of that retail bonanza... spring had already sprung. All the winter gear was selling at a huge discount. We have two feet of snow on the ground, winter is less than half over and I'm looking at three pairs of size twelve boots, bare shelves and bikinis. There's a problem here. I'll probably regret, NOT buying those boots... sometime next December. I found a measly pair of gloves.

As I paid, the lady at the cash hesitated... then smiled coyly at me - while I flashed my credit card. "Nice watch," she grinned.

That's the same watch featured in my profile pics. Damn... I gotta be more careful. Then again, my careless disregard for details- had opened a door. Turns out, she was wearing a ring - and married.

Behind me, waited two rather large women who were arguing the merits of weight loss. One spoke to the other. "Large people like me will never get 'taken'," she exclaimed. "After they use the chloroform, they'd never be able to lift me into the truck."

Interesting - albeit inappropriate - point. They were joking and laughed in my direction. I hid my wrist (the one with the watch), into my pants pocket as I smiled and walked away.

An inch of snow covered my car as I approached - a short time later. There was, a total of seven and a half - predicted. That's enough for the hopeless romantics. Yet, it was too much for me. Everyone has their own set of standards, right?

My new gloves provided toasty warmth, as I swept the snow off my windshield. I thought about what that lady behind the counter had said. I mean seriously ; who looks at the watch? Besides... all watches look alike - if you pay attention to what people say here.

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32 Comments
If She Had Dragged Him Back To Bed🔥... Would Time Have Changed... 🤔
Posted:Jan 13, 2020 10:22 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2020 4:22 am
24930 Views
Weekday mornings were comfortably routine. Her husband, would always leave her with a kiss and a hug ; then he'd smile and promise to text - when he got to work. Things felt different... that morning. She couldn't say why ; there was just, something.

It was Friday and raining. Traffic in Montreal would be snarled. He was surprisingly efficient and headed out the door earlier than normal - looking sharper than usual. He was draped smartly in a dark blue suit, a new tie and his favorite cologne ; the one she loved.

She would have dragged him back to bed and fucked his brains out, if he'd let her. Instead, she cautioned him to be home on time ; a dinner reservation with friends, was for seven. He nodded. Then he reminded her, he'd be tied up all day in meetings - with - as he put it ; "... my asshole bosses. I won't get a chance to call or text, but I'll be home by six thirty babe," he promised, as he kissed her.

The day passed without a word from him. It wasn't the first time he'd been swamped. Yet as the clock struck seven, she'd become generously annoyed. She sent her husband a blunt text, sat in the kitchen and tapped her fingers - impatiently - on the table.

The TV news provided a distraction... barely . They flashed the aftermath from a morning collision somewhere in Laval ; a city close by. A car had been incinerated. She flipped the channel.

As eight o'clock neared, her anger ... had firmly anchored. "There's no meeting so intense, that he couldn't send a fucking message," she fumed. She called his phone - no answer. She rolled her eyes. And yet... an hour later - concern - had managed to gently nudge her anger to the side. When the doorbell rang, it startled her. "He'd forgotten his keys?" she wondered. Relieved to know he was finally home, she rushed to the door. It wasn't her husband - who greeted her.

The policeman who stood there, removed his cap and asked if he could step inside. His words were sparse. There'd been a violent early morning accident with a truck, on a road in Laval. Her husband's car had caught fire. There was nothing, they could have done to save him.

She couldn't believe her ears. "This must be a mistake," she thought. She would have screamed... but a question stumbled onto her lips. "What do you mean, the accident was in Laval ?" she asked. "He works in downtown Montreal. He was at meetings all day. What the fuck , was he doing in Laval?" she blurted.

"I don't know Ma'am. That's where the accident took place," was all he offered.

Her home phone, suddenly rang.

"You're mistaken. That's HIM calling," she yelled. She ran towards the living room and grabbed the receiver. There was no one on the line.

Minutes later... (after the officer had left), that phone rang once again. Through her tears, she peered at caller ID. Although it was a number she'd never seen, she knew the area code ; it was in Laval.

She snatched the phone from its cradle. A woman's voice... hesitant and sobbing... spoke.

"Hello...? I know Robert isn't there. I need to speak with you. There's things... I have to tell you. Stuff you need to know... "

And then - she heard a dial tone. She held the receiver in her hands, staring at it ; frozen... in disbelief and shock.

Chills swept through her core and a realization filled her head. An accumulation of tiny clues, had assembled themselves into a completed puzzle, that had been developing in her mind - for months.

The phone began to ring once again. A dull pain bore through her heart. She was in a daze ; unprepared for that call. Her fingers trembled as she cried into her hands, completely confused by what she should do.

That phone was relentless... as it chimed. Unsympathetic... as it continued to ring ... and ring... and...

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13 Comments
Penis In A Pussy... Or Pepperoni On A Plate...🔥🤔
Posted:Jan 6, 2020 11:00 am
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2020 6:57 pm
25802 Views
She , was bent over the polished, pine wood kitchen table and had gripped both edges, with white knuckle strength. She bit her lip and moaned... softly. The salt and pepper shakers had already fallen, to the black and white checkered floor... right next to a clutter of blue, folded napkins.

He, was close ... but not quite there. His body tingled in waves, as he twitched inside her. She was closer ... in a more desperate way. Her legs trembled as she propped herself on her toes and raised her bare ass to him.

She panted, with short breaths, as he thrust slowly ... into her languid pussy. He leaned his head forward against her back and beckoned. Wet lips greeted his, as she arched her neck and kissed him.

Then... they BOTH smelled it.

Was it burning? Could he keep it in there, for another minute more? "The heat felt soo... good," he thought. He realized - he had to choose. She looked at him with a wince of desperation. They both had to decide ; 'Continue, till they'd reached their goal or risk - burning the fucking pizza!'

Choices... they're always tough ones, when you're near the edge, aren't they?

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13 Comments
It Doesn't Mean Much... If You Can't Afford A Calendar... 🕦
Posted:Jan 2, 2020 12:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2020 11:02 pm
25093 Views
She stood near the sidewalk and leaned against an old brick wall. A street lamp, flamed large, silver flakes of snow as they fell gently through the night sky, onto the ragged lapels of her scruffy coat. She pulled the scarf up to her ears and waited patiently, for anyone to walk by. Then... someone did.

The doors to the restaurant flung open pushing warm laughter and a well fed group of couples into the frosty air. As they spilled towards the street, she held out a trembling hand and raised her gray eyes to meet his. He reached into his pocket and fumbled with some change. As he gave her his coins, their eyes met and he realized... he'd known her - many years ago. She quietly thanked him, then lowered her head into the icy wind as it blew her tousled brown hair, across her face. She leaned back against the wall and waited... for another person, to cross her path.

"I know her. We were seniors in university. We were in the same classes," he whispered to the woman draped tightly on his arm. He turned and looked back at the haggard shadow, huddled under the shimmering light. "I knew her. What happened?" he wondered.

They trudged through the snow and shortly... arrived at their destination. They could hear the music from the edge of the club doorway, as they piled into the cheerful mayhem of that bar. Coats were shed at the checkroom, yet as his turn came he paused. "You know guys... I'll be right back. I forgot something at the restaurant," he smiled as he kissed his lady and returned to the street.

He thrust his hands into his pockets and peered down the road. He hoped she'd still be there. He wasn't expecting an answer to any question. He'd dug up a twenty dollar bill from his wallet ; it seemed like something he should do.

When he'd reached, the wall where she'd stood... it was vacant. "How far could she have gone?" he thought, as he looked about. In a city of five million people - as far as the next crack might take her. Many of those cracks, were deep.

He raised the collar of his jacket and took a long breath. A white mist billowed, as he exhaled and looked at his watch. There was plenty of time to welcome the new year with his friends... and pray for old ones... he'd forgotten.

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11 Comments

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