Paul'S PlacE ❗ ⭕❗⭕ ❗⭕
These aggregation of stories,
lampoons and irreverent points of view...
occasionally make sense.
I hope you can share my smile.

i FROZE my fricken fingers. Click the pic 4 a clear view
(* ©April 2018-22 January Paul)
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
She Asked Me... If She Could Hold It... 😊
Posted:Feb 19, 2019 12:41 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2019 10:34 am
Yesterday, the temperature was minus ridiculous, as I trudged alone, along the frozen edge, of my favorite lake.
It's funny, how a random memory, can keep you warm though, right? What did it for me? I thought of the first time, any woman, ever asked me, if she could hold it ... while I peed. It was one summer...a few years back.

Lynn... remember her? She and I, were hiking, along a quiet, forest trail. I had to go and she, playfully asked me, if she could help. I looked at her. "Sure, but you gotta hurry babe. I really... gotta go ." She scurried up behind me and reached with both her hands around my waist. She almost jammed my zipper- before finally, pulling it down. 

Now... the thing is... even though, I had to go, my little friend - was confused. He, got seriously curious... when he felt those warm, soft, supple fingers and Hollywood nails - trying to fish him, out. Lynn kinda fumbled about in there, feeling her way around. I know, she wasn't used to that whole, men's boxer brief bullshit, and all the options and openings.

By the time, her fingers gently, had him, pulled out... he, had other ideas, as to why, he , was supposed to be there. Stupid dick! My bladder, then silently screamed to me, and I was reminded, of what, the immediate, goal was.

I instructed Lynn, precisely. "Pull the skin back. Yeah... like that babe." She did, as she was told. Just the teeny, tiniest, drop of precum, had made its way, to the very tip of my dick. Lynn smiled and tapped her finger, on the eye of my cock, and watched... as that silvery ribbon... stretched on, forever...

"Can you stop fooling around ? I'm trying to focus! Now hold him lower, on my shaft. Yeah. Like that... Now squeeze him. Tighter babe.... Yeah! Tight, like that. Now... release the pressure of your fingers, when I tell you to, and aim... somewhere. Away from me... Ok? For starters... let's see if you can hit that tree over there... "

And she did... She aimed him left and right, and everywhere... giggling all the while. She even hit that tree... once or twice. I wished, it was winter. I would have challenged her, to write her name, in the snow.

"Now, shake him, to get that last drop off. " And she did that, too.

But... it wasn't, the way, I would have shaken it. Lynn, got carried away - intentionally, I presume. I had become, hard, as a granite boulder. I knew, she was having a great time, as she whispered, sweet encouragent to me. I squirmed, in her firm grasp. Her nails... and fingers... teased and raked my balls, with one hand, while she, stroked me... with the other.

I was wet, where she held me... and my legs were quivering. My toes, would have been curling, but my hiking boots, were too tight. She was in control, and she knew, exactly, what she was doing.

There was a chipmunk, up in a tree, who perved us and squeaked his appreciation, at the conclusion ... of the final result. Lynn laughed approvingly, at the end, as well. She looked up at me, with those... twinkling, blue - green eyes of hers and lustfully cooed - "Ooooo... Good boy!" And then... squeezed, and pushed ... and milked, those last drops, from me. Her hands were sticky and dripping...

I just shut my eyes, as I shivered... and quietly moaned and thought - "Damn... that was the best fricken piss, I've ever had in my life. "

How important, is a playful sense of humour, in a relationship?
Have you ever fed chipmunks or squirrels 🐿️and other animals🐴🐑🐮, from your hands?

I fed a moose once. That was a thrill. He was huge!

Here's a bonus question... for "Paul Points". Why are women so gentle, when handling a penis? I can tie mine, into a knot... 😶

Thanks to [blog kimberliejo1] for reminding me... . .
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Sex... 😈 Lies... 😱 and The Prison Mistress 🚓
Posted:Feb 15, 2019 1:05 am
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2019 8:19 am
( By the way.. Did you know that if you clic on the pics in this post, you'll enlarge them?)

FrankeeZee, (my buddy, who's also a blogger on that other sex site - ™FOGCAF ), sat at my kitchen table. He pushed his laptop towards me and smiled. "Read this Paul. I've written, a great blog. I took your advice, and I've become more descriptive. I've kinda copied your style. It's a 'think piece'. It's about my Valentine's date, from LAST year. Remember... I told you the story?" I looked at FrankeeZee, raised an eyebrow and silently admitted - that I didn't know... what the fuck, he was talking about. I put my glasses on and began to read... FrankeeZee's blog.

His words began ...

It was to be, a Valentine's date, to remember. It started, as you'd expect that day to start - with a man and a woman... and the hope, of confirming true love. Yet, it ended, with a broken heart, a shattered dream... and a seriously, maxed out credit card ! Oh... and there was a short police chase. But that... was just a small, misunderstanding.

I was happily exchanging phone calls (for months and months), with a woman I'd found online. The set up to meet, after all the anticipation, was finally organized. The moment had arrived... I was ready.

As you know, I live in Montreal. She told me, that she lived an hour away, in Ottawa. We'd agreed, that I would travel to her, and meet, at a hotel. I'd booked a penthouse suite, at the Château Laurier, and I'd made, the dinner reservations. As a surprise bonus, I'd also bought, a pair of tickets, to see the Garth Brooks concert. It was going to be, a weekend, to remember.

On the day, we were to meet, I waited for her in that posh restaurant - 'Wilfrid's'. Have you heard of it? A discreet window seat, overlooking Canada's Parliament buildings and the old Rideau locks, assured a romantic setting.
Skaters, dotted the frozen river, gliding pair by pair, in the distance. I waited impatiently. Snowflakes, fluttered, cross the street light shadows, in slow motion rhythms. Four and a half hours later, I was still sitting alone. The maître d', Bill, sauntered up to me, to let me know, they were closing... soon. I left shortly thereafter. My head was bowed and I was heartbroken. But damn, did they make a good onion soup - and really generous gin and tonics.

I spent the weekend alone, in my penthouse suite. She would have appreciated, the 20 jets, in that tub. I watched the Garth Brooks show, with an empty seat next to me .... The silhouette, of the couple in front of me, holding hands, and kissing... made my heart sink.

That woman of my dreams... eventually, contacted me, and confessed. It turns out, she missed our date, because she was residing, in a medium security prison, in Calgary... half a country away. She gets out in 2020.

I looked up, at FrankeeZee. "You couldn't figure out, earlier... that she might have been lying?"

"You know Paul...? When I think about it now... it was always, kinda strange. She'd only call me, on Tuesdays and Saturdays... between 7 and 7:30 at night. And... it was always a collect call."

I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked ...

"What's the title of your blog?"

"Oh... Good question Paul. Well.. it's a 'think piece' , like I said. Advice for men, and women, on what to look for. How to tell, if someone is lying. So... I thought, something simple - 'Don't Accept Collect Phone Calls ... "

"Hmmm... " I nodded.

" ... From Lying Bitches' , " FrankeeZee completed his sentence.

I coughed and cleared my throat... "Good advice. For sure. Yep..." I closed FrankeeZee's laptop. "What about that police chase? That small misunderstanding?"

"Yeah... well... I'm still writing, THAT blog."

I stood up and walked to the fridge. "Hey Frankee... you wanna another vodka slushie?"

"Sure. Yeah... I'll have one. Hey Paul... I'm just curious. Do you know any good lawyers?"

Why do women and men lie to each other, on hook up sites ?
Do you enjoy going to a nice hotel or restaurant?

FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun

This is a picture, of the table by the window at 'Wilfrid's' Restaurant. In the background, you'll notice the Canadian Parliament Buildings. Quite romantic... I'd say... . .
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My Fake Orgasm - A Love Story... ❤️ #50
Posted:Feb 12, 2019 12:32 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2019 10:41 am
It's getting closer and closer to Valentine's Day. Time for a love story, right? Have you ever faked an orgasm? It takes, a trained professional, for a man to fake, an ejaculatory climax. I've done it... and I recall, that night clearly.

I wasn't enjoying myself (probably my fault), and I just wanted it, to be over. She'd already cum, several times... or so she claimed. I did, feel her pussy clutching, clenching, drenching me, more than once. As I think about it now, perhaps- she was faking, it as well? A mutual "double fake" ? That, might have been funny and would've put, a different spin, on this story.

I was wearing a condom at the time and it was, a key piece, in the successful illusion, I performed. I waited for my cue. She whispered in my ear (the way women do) ; "Cum for me baby. Cum for me now!"

I did...

She held me tightly in her arms and I kissed her breathlessly, as I 'fake' shuddered and shivered, for the requisite number of seconds. My body, then went limp - the way men's body's do after they cum. I lay pressed on top of her, exhaling loudly. My hot breath, caressed her neck, as my sweat, mingled with hers. I reposed there... my hands, stroking her supple breasts and erect nipples. Softly, I whispered in her ear, the words she wanted to hear - "Oh my God. That felt... sooo... good." Gradually... I recovered my senses. 

She was quite happy. I was marginally satisfied and relieved, that it was over. More importantly, I was starving! We ordered a large pizza; pepperoni, cheese, green peppers, mushrooms - the works. Here in Montreal, we call them - "all dressed". It was, a great pizza! Oh, and... I think, I ordered a coke.

How important... is having an orgasm?
When you crave a pizza... what do you order?


I'd rather not know if someone faked it with me. Why spoil the illusion?

This story is my submission to - Virtual Symposium #50 Virtual Symposium Group

Thanks to CanNotBearIt, for the idea...
[blog CanNotBearIt]
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Are You Afraid Of Being Exposed? 😱 😁
Posted:Feb 7, 2019 1:34 am
Last Updated:May 5, 2019 4:16 am

There are so many internet hackers out there, AND accidental website glitches...

Are you afraid of having your true... 'A F F' identity, exposed to the world?

I guess you should have thought twice about posting dic or pussy pics and doing that 'live - cam' thingy, every Tuesday and Thursday. 🤔 . .
No... Who cares if anyone knows?
Maybe... I would be annoyed, but not devastated.
Yes.. That would impact my career and private life.
OMG... Where is that hole I can hide in? I guess I will have to move... again! .
66 Comments , 165 votes
Ever Have... One Of Those Days?
Posted:Jan 29, 2019 2:51 am
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 6:33 pm
If there was a pill you could swallow... to never feel sadness again - would you take it? She wished somebody, had offered her one... as soon, as she stepped into that, empty house.

Her heels, clicked across the dark grey, stone tiled floor and echoed, off the bare, white walls, as she reached the kitchen. Slowly, she pulled the keys, from the brass ring and threw them, on the black marble counter. He... had already been there, and had left his set... neatly stacked and labelled. As usual... he'd taken pride, in his pointless, self-absorbed, neatness.

She sighed, as she glanced at her watch, and realized she was early. The real estate agent, wouldn't be there for another hour. She would linger, for 60 minutes more, in the home, where she'd lived, for 32 y.ears .

Imagined voices and laughter, called to her. She followed them... down the hallway and up the stairs. She walked into rooms, once littered, with toys and dolls and where clothes... had been strewn in piles, on beds. She smiled to herself, recalling all those silly, motherly complaints.

The walls, with their tiny holes and scratches, and scrawls (in pencil and pen), offered clues... that someone had lived there. Time had been measured... in inches... as they'd grown. "My gosh. Were they really, that little?" she thought to herself, as she bent down, to touch her daughters' initials. They were squiggled, in red and blue crayon, and had nearly faded, into invisibility.

In another room, she closed her eyes, and almost smelled - the fresh paint. She'd always loved that shade of green and was proud, of her efforts, with a roller and a brush. He... never forgot to remind her... just how much, he hated that colour.

Eventually, she wandered back... into the kitchen. An open drawer, drew her closer. She peered in... and tucked, right at the back, found something... that had been left behind. It was a picture. A small one, framed, by the people who sold it to her. You've probably seen them. They're the ones snapped, as you roar down the steep angles, of those epic rides, at amusement parks?

"Wow," she whispered to herself. "This, is from so... long... ago."

The four of them; her family... Mouth's open, hands raised, laughter frozen - in that moment. She recalled... it had been raining, that day. The park, was almost empty and there were no lines, for any of the rides. They'd ridden the giant roller coaster, 4 times in a row. "That... was a great day. That, was a really... great day," she smiled.

She held the photo closely, while peering into the expressions, of her . "Oh my gosh. The girls, look so tiny. We all look... so young. Everyone's so happy ! Even him..." she thought, "... even him."

They live a thousand miles away - her , that is. They're adults now, with families of their own. They call... occasionally. That amusement park, has long since, closed up, been torn down... and replaced with condos. She brushed her hair, with her fingers... and glanced at her watch...

Ever have one of those days, when sadness and nostalgia, wrap around your throat - like a warm scarf, that you just don't want to take off... even if you know, it's choking you?

She stood there... clutching that photograph tightly... with both her hands, afraid to let it go. She was having... one of those days

Would you take that pill, if someone offered it to you?
What do you do, to cheer yourself up?

Studies have shown that people who shed tears and express sadness are more apt to lead healthier, and happier lives... in the long run. Something to do with releasing emotions, as opposed to keeping them all bunched up. Hmmm.. Ok then. I won't feel bad, next time I cry at a movie. . .

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Headin'... For That West Island Train
Posted:Jan 25, 2019 1:22 am
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2019 2:15 pm
Yesterday, I was driving my car, with my blogging buddy, FrankeeZee. I was skidding and slipping my way, through that huge northerly snow storm, you might have heard about. We were headed to the train station (out in the west island), where FrankeeZee's younger cousin Joey, was waiting for us. If you know this city, then you'd know, how messed up, winter driving can get. If you know the city a bit better, you'd know - it's mostly about the drivers here. They're all crazy !

FrankeeZee was just, bringing his lips, up to that cup, of scalding coffee, he'd just bought ( a mile ago)... when I slammed on my brakes. I was probably going faster, than I should have, but then again - so was everyone else. I was completely surprised, when that... guy... in the black 4 by 4, in front of me, decided to actually STOP - as the light turned yellow. I was even more surprised, that he stopped so quickly. "Fricken 4 by 4's !" I thought.

FrankeeZee's coffee, had already spilled over the rim and burned his lips, even before I could say anything.

"We're going to hit this guy Frankee. We're going to hit ... Come on baby...! Give me some space...!" I pleaded, as we slid forward.

Sure enough... The guy with the black 4 by 4, gave me some space and just edged out far enough, so that when I hit him - I might have been doing, barely 2 miles per hour. We bumped, with a little jolt... and a swear word from FrankeeZee. The guy in the black 4 by 4, opened his door. I looked at FrankeeZee, unbuckled my seatbelt and reached for my wallet. "Damn..." I thought. And then...

That guy, in the black 4 by 4, flicked his lit cigarette through the blowing snow and turned to look at me. With a shrug of his shoulders and a thumbs up, he leaned back into his truck, and closed his door. The traffic light had turned green and we all moved forward. I was pretty sure, there was no damage.

"Well... You were lucky Paul. You drive like an asshole. Slow down. You remind me of my cousin Joey."

"I am driving the same, speed, as everyone else... And how do I remind you of your cousin Joey? He's on probation. He just got out of jail for the 10th time."

"It was the third time... and that's my point. In fact...I asked him about that. You know... seeing as all his friends are getting married and having a family and stuff... I asked him, if it didn't bother him. And you know what he says ?"

I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked.

"He says - 'Sometimes... you just have to focus on your career'."

I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked again."None of what you said, has anything to do with me."

"I liked that story Paul. At least Joey sounds motivated. And hey...look at you. I don't know if you're happy, with your job... or whatever. You're always so crabby around me. Why is that?"

As I turned to answer... FrankeeZee yelled out ; "It's a red light Paul. Put on your fucking brakes and stop talking to me."

I slammed on the brakes. FrankeeZee's coffee splashed up on my dash. And there, in front of me, was that black 4 by 4 ... looming... again- as I slid closer... and closer...

"Oh shit !"

Do you (did you), live for your career or does (did) family, come first?
Does bad weather stop you from going places or do you just go through with your plans anyway?

Most of the time, the drivers in this city are reasonable - sort of. Although... the odds were in my favour, that no driver, wanted to get out of his car in a snow storm, to check out a scuff, on a 4 by 4 . I slowed down , after that 2nd time. You can actually stop, reasonably well - when it's snowing as hard as it was - true !

FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun
People waiting (half frozen), at the West Island Station, near the frozen tracks, for that slow moving train. . .
Only One In Ten Can Read This... 📖
Posted:Jan 22, 2019 12:52 am
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 6:34 pm
¡pǝɹoq ʇsnɾ ˙˙˙ɯɐ I ˙ǝɯ dɐls ʇ,uop ˙ɟlǝsʎɯ ƃuᴉsnɯɐ puɐ ˙˙ʇsoԀ ƃolq 'uʍop ǝpᴉsdn uɐ ƃuᴉʇsod ɯɐ I ˙˙˙oS ¡dlǝɥ ou ;pǝᴉɹʇ ʇsnɾ I ¿ʇᴉ sǝop -ʎɐʍɐ ʇᴉ ǝsɐɥɔ sʎɐʍlɐ ʇ,usǝop 'ƃuᴉʇɐqɹnʇsɐɯ ˙˙˙llǝM ¿op oʇ ʇɐɥM

¿ʎlʇuǝɔǝɹ sʍǝu ǝɥʇ pǝɥɔʇɐʍ noʎ ǝʌɐɥ ˙˙˙ʎǝH ˙ɥʇᴉʍ ʎɐld oʇ uɹod ʇɔǝɟɹǝd ʇɐɥʇ - uʍop lᴉɐu oʇ 'ǝlƃƃnɹʇs puɐ ʇǝu ǝɥʇ ɟɹns I sɐ 'ǝɯ ǝlpɐɹɔ llᴉʍ ʇᴉ 'ʎllɐuoᴉsɐɔɔO ˙ǝʌɐʍoɹɔᴉɯ ǝɥʇ uᴉ 'sʇɐǝɥ ʇᴉ ˙˙˙sǝʇnuᴉɯ ɹnoɟ ˙˙˙ƃuᴉzᴉuoƃɐ ǝsoɥʇ puɐ ɹǝuuᴉp ƃuᴉʇɐǝ uǝǝʍʇǝq 'dn ǝɯ ʞool ʇɥƃᴉɯ ʇI ˙ɔᴉɟɟɐɹʇ uᴉ ʞɔnʇs ɯ,I ǝlᴉɥʍ 'suǝddɐɥ ʇI ˙ʇǝɯ ʇsnɾ ǝʌ,I 'uosɹǝd ɐ ɥʇᴉʍ uoᴉʇɐsɹǝʌuoɔ ɐ ƃuᴉɹnp ǝq plnoɔ ʇI ˙ʎlɯopuɐɹ ˙˙˙ǝɯ oʇ ʇno sǝɥɔɐǝɹ ʇI

˙ʎʇᴉlᴉqɐʇɔᴉpǝɹdun pᴉdǝʇ ɥʇᴉʍ 'pɐǝɥ s,ʇᴉ sɹɐǝɹ - pɹɐllnp 'uɹoqllᴉʇs 'ƃuᴉsᴉɯoɹdɯoɔun 'ʎlƃn ʇɐɥʇ ˙˙˙ ɯopǝɹoq

¿ɯopǝɹoq uɐɥʇ ˙˙ǝsɹoʍ ƃuᴉɥʇʎuɐ ǝɹǝɥʇ sᴉ - uᴉɐd lɐᴉɔuɐuᴉɟ ɹo lɐuoᴉʇoɯǝ ɹo lɐɔᴉsʎɥd ɹǝʇɟ∀ ˙pǝɹoq ʇǝƃ ll,I ˙˙˙ǝlᴉɥʍ ɐ uᴉ ǝɔuo 'ǝɯ oʇ suǝddɐɥ ʇI

What bores you?
What do YOU do, to chase boredom away ?

Stand upside down... flip your phone or computer...

The right side up version ... is posted in the COMMENTS section.

This is a picture of Houdini, the great magician, hanging upside down, over Broadway, in New York, in the mid 1920's. .. .
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She Liked Them Hard...
Posted:Jan 17, 2019 9:26 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2020 10:46 am
Last Friday, the weather was less than ideal. Sleet and snow, blustered in steady gusts... and sheets... of stinging white pellets,... blinded my vision - as I slowly, pulled into the empty, parking lot. Locking up my car, I trudged a few feet, through the slush, and stepped through the sliding doors, into the vacant, grocery emporium. Music echoed, accross the monstrous ceiling and along the wide and vast, alleys of food. I was, the only person in the store... except for her.

She stood, by the avocados and turned around. We both looked at each other, in mild shock, finding someone else, stupid enough to venture out - in such weather. I smiled at her and playfully waved.

"It seems, we have this place to ourselves."

"It would seem that way..." she replied, laughing.

I walked up to the avocados, and paused. Her steel blue eyes, twinkled as they reflected, the bright, white lights, from overhead. I looked at her, and spoke...

"I can never tell, which ones I.m supposed to buy. The hard ones, or the soft ones."

"I like them hard, but that depends. Do you plan on eating one today, or later on this week? This one... is ready to be eaten now. Here... feel it."

She held a perfect avocado, and extended it to me. My fingers, glanced off her warm hand, and soft skin and I squeezed it - the avocado, I mean.

"What about the hard ones? What about this one? " I asked, as I quickly moved my arm and extended my sample to her. As I did, a tiny gust of air, carried my faint essence (the cologne, from my wrist), along a plain - directly into her path. Her nostrils flared. I knew, right away... that she had sensed me.

Her eyes darted, from the green fruit in my hand, then up, and into my gaze... for a second.

"The hard ones, uhh.. they take a few days to ripen," she replied. Her fingers touched mine, as she squeezed the fruit. "This one, will take... at least a couple of days."

I placed the avocado, back into the pile. "You seem to know a lot about these guys. I should take you shopping with me. Do you know as much about other fruits as well?"

"Not... really... I guess.... Nobody's asked for my help... before. But, hey... fruit is easy to understand, " and her white teeth flashed, from between a wide smile. "What other fruit, are you confused about?" she laughed.

It was now, my turn, to hesitate. A silent connection had been made. Neurons had been triggered. A chain of electrons had been set in motion, and none of them cared the least - about fruit.

We smiled and I picked some bananas. Then... we shared some laughs, while groping fresh bread. By the time we'd reached the meats, I knew her name and she knew mine. She also knew, I was accumulating the ingredients for a lasagna dish, I was going to cook.

"You're using Italian sausages?" she asked.

"I push them out of the casings and add them to the minced beef. Perfect spices, and flavor... without a lot of effort."

She nodded, as if she approved. And so, we followed each other around. Eventually, I found an excuse to grasp her waist, when she stood in the way, of my cans of diced tomatoes. At the cheese fridge, her hand managed to slip down the door handle, and touched mine, as she passed me the cheddar. It was funny... the game, we were playing.

At the wines... I paused and looked into her eyes. Those dark, grey pools, had me captured... as I spoke.

"What type of wine would you like?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... I.m making enough lasagna for an army... it's Saturday tomorrow and you look hungry. Let me feed you. How about a nice Merlot?"

"... and a Bourgogne?" She smiled, as she leaned towards me, with her selection.

"It's the first time in my life, I've picked up a man, in the wine department," she declared... smiling smugly.

"You didn't pick me up. I picked you up, back in the avocado section."

She laughed, poked me in the arm, and pulled me off balance towards her. I reached forward, and caught myself, against her shoulder.

It's then... we kissed for the first time. It was a quick kiss. A brief peck on her silky, soft lips. It was just a kiss. Yet... it held a hidden promise, of so much more. No one else, was there to share it with us... except for the overhead security cameras... and that was fine, by me.

"Oh no... Wait a minute. I can't go with you. It's my weekend with the . I have to pick them up, in an hour," she declared, rather sadly. Then... her face lit up again. "Hey... I've got an idea. Since you're making so much lasagna, maybe I can bring the over, and we can all eat together. What do you think?"

"I think, I.m having canned soup tonight. It's too late, to start baking a lasagna dish. And hey... Look at that weather."

It had turned out to be... just another Friday night, at the grocery store. And yes - I.m ... an asshole... sometimes. But at least, I.m not a liar. I DID make the soup.

Is it easier to meet people in the real world, or here in the internet world?
Do you ever eat healthy veggies and fruit- stuff, like avocados?

*Note : If you wonder about the punctuation and visuals of some words - like ' I.m ' - it's due to the fact that A F F, likes to delete those words, from the text. Yep... quite, fucking annoying.. 😊. .
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Large Coffee ☕ and A Vibrator... Please
Posted:Jan 15, 2019 1:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2020 10:24 pm
I hadn't seen FrankeeZee (my buddy from that other sex site- ™FOGCAF ), since before the holidays. When he texted me with an invitation, to join him for lunch, at Mickey Dee's - I texted him right back.

'R we going to get a seat? It's lunch time on a school day.' 

'No worries. I made a reservation.' , was his reply.

"Reservation - at a Mickey Dee's ? How's that possible?" I thought. But... then again, I was headed to a part of town, that I wasn't familiar with. Good thinking, on Frankee's part though. By the time I got there, it was prime time. The from the high school next door, had jammed the place. The clatter and chatter and laughter of young voices, filled the whole space. There weren't any free seats. Yet there sat FrankeeZee - at a table, right by the ' area, next to a cluster of MILF's, who were eagerly checking their phones. FrankeeZee, was checking them out... above the edge, of a book he held.

"Hey Frankee. How's it going? Good to see you."

"Hey Paul. Glad you could make it. I ordered my usual. They're going to c.all my n.umber. What are you having? It's my treat..."

"Hmmm... Not really hungry. I've already had my lunch. I might have a coffee later. So... whatcha been up to?"

FrankeeZee had his laptop with him (as he usually did), so he was probably working on his latest blog.

" just working on my latest blog, Paul. Kind of a... summary piece, on what I did over the holidays. Wanna read what I have so far?" and he slid his laptop over to my side of the table.

I unbuttoned my coat and began to read. It was the typical sort of stuff... visiting family and friends. I was surprised to read, that FrankeeZee, had made a New Year's Resolution. It read - 'When I babysit for my brother's , I promise NOT to get hammered, until AFTER the fall asleep.' -  "Hmmm ... a worthy resolution ," I thought. Eventually, I stopped reading, at an unfinished sentence... "So you went to your cousin's place for New Year's. What happened there ?"

"Oh yeah... that was cool. So my cousin Tony, had a gang of people over, right? After dinner, he pulls out the karaoke machine, and calls his little 6 year downstairs... to show off her singing - you know?  My cousin's always showing off his , right?  Anyway... tiny Francesca, comes down the stairs, dressed up, in her cute , red dress. Then the music starts and she grabs the mic, and starts screaming her lungs out ... to this song by Megadeth . My cousin and his wife, were real proud. Nona almost had a heart attack. The guests, were in total shock.  I was impressed...  I mean, when a 6 year , can screech out the lyrics -  "There's only blackness. The end is coming. All my friends are dead." - Hey... 'nuff said, right? The fucking nailed it ! 

I looked at FrankeeZee and nodded my head. "It wasn't a Megadeth song . It was - Lil Uzi Vert ,  who played THAT tune," I thought to myself. "So what else is new Frankee?"

"Well, our sex site is giving away those new RV's, so I.m gonna give it a try. It's the latest thing in sex site technology. You guys must have it... right ?"

"I have no idea, what you're talking about Frankee. You're not talking about a motor home, are you? What's an RV ?"

"It's a Remote Vibrator. It's activated through a phone app, via blue tooth, no matter where you are on the planet. Works 24/7. You wear it, strapped to your private parts ... then when someone pervs you, or looks at your profile pics and other stuff - it vibrates your dick or pussy. Supposedly... if the other person is watching one of your videos - you can get an orgasm, at the same time they have one! It's really cool. Anyway... it's free and with the shipping, it's only $24.99 . Don't you guys have that?"

I shook my head. "No. We don't have that, Frankee. We have blog wars though," I replied... rubbing my temple.

"Really ? Oooo... That reminds me. The website, started paying me for my blogs now. Can you believe it? I mean... the top 200 bloggers, get 100 points, for every new blog posted. And... you can redeem them for prizes. Is that cool? I have to post 5 blogs per day, just to keep up with the top bloggers. That means, I.m getting 500 points each day, and I get another 10 points for each comment, that I make. I.m leaving 100 comments each day, so... I.m making an easy - 1,500 points every day. Is that crazy... or what?"

"Really? You're getting 100 points per blog, and 10 points per comment? Wow ! That's a heck of a lotta time and energy, you've gotta spend on that stuff, each day... no ? What kind of prizes, can you redeem your points for? Does it p.ay for your membership?" I asked, rather intrigued.

"No... no... no... You can only, use it for the prizes. What type of prizes? Hang on a second. I'll check." FrankeeZee pulled his laptop open and scoured the home page of his sex site. "Oh... here it is... Yep... Ok then... Here's one... 400,000 points, gets you a Mickey Dee coupon, for a large coffee."

"So... let me get this straight. At the rate you're earning points, it's going take you 8 1/2 months, to earn enough points, for a large coffee, at Mickey Dee's? Are you kidding me ? That's fucked up Frankee!"

"Nah... Your math is wrong Paul."

I showed FrankeeZee my phone calculator. He looked back at me.

"At least I.m getting paid. What are you getting? Blog Wars... ! " and he crossed his arms indignantly. "And... I.m having fun... How much fun are you having Paul?"

He had a point... about being paid, that is.

Over the loudspeaker, we heard the n.umber '1049' being called. That was FrankeeZee's ticket. He went up to the counter, to pick up his Happy Meal. I wondered which toy, he'd come back with.

What do you do with your A F F points ?
Why do you bother to blog or not to blog?

If one of those Remote Vibrators was offered on THIS site - would you try it out ?
I have a feeling , more women would try it , than men. Just a guess. I.m not sure if I would. Not for $24 ... I don't think enough people perv me, to make it worth while. ... lol...

*NOTE: I am getting some rather irate emails, about this promotional offer. Please refer to the website, where FrankeeZee, lists his membership. I have nothing to do, with this offer. Nor can I provide you, with a link to the site. Thanks!

FrankeeZee is a member of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun. .
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The Mall... . The MILF... . And A Song... . 🎵
Posted:Dec 20, 2018 1:10 am
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 6:35 pm
Over 2 billion people on planet Earth celebrate Christmas. However - over 5.7 billion don't. Ever wonder what you can do if you DON'T celebrate Christmas? FrankeeZee and I decided to do some research into the question.

Yesterday, we went to the mall... again. Actually, FrankeeZee was doing the research - I was just along for the ride. If you'll recall, FrankeeZee is my blogger buddy, from that other sex site,
™FOGCAF. On this occasion, even as we sat not far, from the 'real ' Santa Claus (amongst the MILF's and their ) - FrankeeZee's head, was buried in his laptop... as he typed.

"Paul... what's another word for 'explain'?" He paused and looked at me... "OK, ok. . . never mind - it's elucidate ... "

I sat there eating my mint, chocolate chip ice cream, watching the shoppers go by, listening to Paul McCartney singing, 'Wonderful Christmas' - for the one hundredth time... so far this week.

"Paul... what's another word for 'shrewd', or 'astute'?" He looked at me and waited. "Oh yeah... got it - the word is perspicacious, " and he leaned his head, once again, into his laptop.

Mariah Carey began singing - 'O Holy Night' . I licked my cone.

"Paul... what's another word for - 'confuse'? Or... you know , when you 'obscure' the meaning of something?" Dead silence, was my response. "Ughh... oh... the word is - obfuscate. You know - you're no fucking help at all Paul. Don't you fucking read? Or do you just read your own fucking blog? You should read a fucking book, once in a while. It would improve your fucking vocabulary."

"Hey Frankee... you think any of your blog readers are going to understand any of those words you're using in your blog? I mean, seriously... they're there for sex, not for a vocabulary lesson.

FrankeeZee stopped typing and raised his head.

"Are you kidding me Paul? Some of the most educated and intelligent people on the planet, frequent sex sites. It's a fact ! CNN or somebody, did a report on it last year. You'd be surprised. All these intelligent people are looking to get laid... but when it comes to blogs - they want someone to stimulate their minds, as well."

I looked at him and blinked.

"Hey Paul... what's another word for 'idiot'... ?"

"I'm sitting next to one," I replied. But FrankeeZee was not deterred and typed away.

"The word was cretin... Paul. The rough draft is done. Now... all I need to do, is to edit," and he closed his laptop.

"So... What conclusions did you come up with Frankee? What do people who don't celebrate Christmas, do on Christmas day ?"

"Oh... fuck that. I don't know. I guess they go to Chinese restaurants, or they go to the movies or they sit at home masturbating and watching NetFlix. That was a boring topic. I changed my blog theme to, Sex With Your Neighbours - The True Holiday Spirit."

"And you used all those words in your blog? I'd like to read your blog Frankee," I looked at him and blinked again. Bruce Springsteen was singing 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town'. I shivered... and closed my eyes.

"You know Paul... If you didn't spend so much time watching television and wasting your life on that sex site of yours, and more time reading - you'd be a more interesting person and maybe... you'd even get laid?"

I had finished my ice cream. Justin Bieber was singing - 'Mistletoe'... I'd had enough. It was time to leave. I rose from the bench.

"Frankee ... let's go. I've had enough of this place."

And then... just as suddenly... I decided to stay. They had just started to play - Bing Crosby's 'White Christmas'. Ahhh... This is what Christmas music is all about. This, is what the Christmas spirit, is all about, " I thought to myself.

At that moment, FrankeeZee poked me in the ribs. "Paul... take a look at that MILF over there. Is she hot, or what ? Would you do her?"

What are your LEAST, or MOST favorite - Christmas songs ?
Did you learn any new words here today, or did you already know them, from reading or watching TV?

FrankeeZee is a member of ™FOGCAF - Friends OF Good Clean Adulterous Fun .. .
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The Price Tag Barbie... With The Auburn Hair
Posted:Dec 18, 2018 1:06 am
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2019 2:18 pm
Many y.ears ago, when I was a young man... I met a young woman...

She was a price-tag Barbie, with painted-on jeans and those fuck me, charcoal eyes. I was never sure... if they were half-open, or half-closed. I guess, it depended on the time of day. Auburn hair, brushed her waist... and her tall, confident stride - always turned heads. She would have been a candle, in someone's eye... but not mine. I wanted nothing to do with her.

She slowly, sauntered up to me - through the dark... and across the light. I leaned up against my car and watched... as she stirred that quiet parking lot, with her shadow. The fine gravel, under her black leather boots, crunched to a rhythm of a song... with a title... that I couldn't remember.

"Hi Paul . . . gotta light ?"

"I don't smoke... You know I don't."

"Oh... yeah... I remember."

If I could, I would have rewound space and paused at the good times - a couple of y.ears ago... when I was 23. Those memories... had long faded, and the only ones left, were all sour and grey. She'd been drinking, or smoking... or both. Her glassy eyes, were large... black... pools.

"I thought, it was you inside. I haven't seen you in what... 2 or 3 y.ears? Are you, uhh... in town for the... holidays? When dja' get in? Mike would prob'ly wanna see you. Did you see him in the bar tonight?"

So many questions in a row, I didn't know which one to answer first. It didn't matter. She didn't really care, about my answers anyway. "Yeah. I saw Mike. I said hi to both of you. You don't recall?"

"Oh yeah... yes... I do. Sure... You were talking to the drummer, Pete... uhhh... or Steve... I don't remember his name. So how long are you here for? How are your parents? How's your brother doing? I haven't seen you in so long. You're looking good Paul... yeah..."

And her voice trailed off, as she lowered her gaze, and reached into her jeans... for a lighter - I presumed. Then a voice I recognized, yelled from across the parking lot. It was Mike.

"Hey... Paul... Tell that girl you're with, we're going home. Unless she wants to go home with you?" he laughed.

She turned around to Mike and waved, then looked back at me.

"It was good to see you Paul. It was really, good to see you. You think... we'll run into each other again? We're coming back here tomorrow night. You know... Mike's doin' the sound for the band. I saw your band, is playing over at the Coliseum in Syracuse next week? Maybe Mike and I can make it for that. I'll speak with him... yeah... so anyway..."

"Hey, ...! Are ya coming , or what ?" Mike's voice echoed across the lot.

"I gotta run Paul. It was good to see you. Merry Christmas."

She leaned over to me and gave me a hug. A tight one. I could smell her perfume, and the liquor on her breath. Then she turned her head and kissed me on the cheek. I felt her warm tears, as they dripped, off her cheek and onto mine. She pressed her lips, to my ear and whispered...

"I love you Paul. I always will..."

Then with a shove, she pushed against my shoulders, steadied herself and turned to walk away. As she did, she wiped her glistening eyes, with her hand.

She would always cry and get emotional, when she'd been drinking. She'd always tell me that she loved me... when she was drunk. I watched as she walked back, across the parking lot... and into the shadows... again.

"Merry Christmas," I whispered back...

© December 2018 Paul P.
What is it about 'bad boys' and 'bad girls' that attracts us to them? Or is it just me?
Do you like going to bars or small clubs where live bands ?

Yeah . . . 'Bad' boys and girls have a tendency to get under your skin. Or at least the 'bad' girls , had a way of getting under mine... I guess I was weak.
Give me a live band in a small bar - any time. Something intimate and really enjoyable about watching a band where they are so close you can hear the of the sound of the snare drum without the for the mic. And the guys on stage are talking amongst themselves , between songs.
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Spiders and Stairs... Pussies and Bears
Posted:Dec 14, 2018 12:46 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:58 pm
It was a slightly...  less than normal Friday. I'd beaten the traffic. I called Lorraine into my office. Her strut, always twisted my head - just a bit.

"Can you get Larry, Michelle, Darren...  and Brett together... for a quick meeting? Ask them to be here at 9:00 ish ... ok?"

She smiled and strode away. I watched, as her butt quivered it's way back to her desk. The gang had soon assembled and I began...

"All right, so I.m going to look at some properties for that new, customer service area, this afternoon and I want you guys with me. I n.eed as much help, as I can get. We h.ave to make a decision, in a hurry. We'll start off at that warehouse - down by the port and...."

Darren, waved his hand up at me.

"Uh . . . I don't think I'll be much help. I umm... I have Arachnophobia, and it's pretty serious. That warehouse is sure to have plenty of spiders in there. No way... I can't step inside. No way!"

"Darren...  Are you kidding me? Are you joking?"

"No... no Paul. I... I've been getting treatment for it. But it's serious."

"OK... then, you can wait in the car. We'll be going to another place with no spiders. I've made an appointment, to see that ..." and I was interrupted by Brett, who motioned to me.

"Paul... I've gotta question... We're taking the subway - right ? I can't ride in a car."

"What? What are you talking about? Of course we are. We'll take my car. There's enough room for all of us."

"Can't do it Paul. I suffer from Amaxophobia - that's a fear of cars. I can't make it inside your car... impossible. Yeah... that, will be impossible," He looked around, at the others in the room and nodded.

"What is it with you people this morning? Are you shitting me? Alright... who else has some sort of phobia? Let's get all this bullshit out of the way. Larry ... ? Any other phobias I should know about?"

"Well... uhmm...  none really, that I want to share with everyone here. They're kind of personal," Larry lowered his head and sipped his coffee. I stared back at him and gestured for him to continue.

"Well... that building we're going to ... do the elevators work? Because if they don't work... I can't go. I ugh... I can't take the stairs. I have Bathmophobia.."

"Which is what... ? You're scared of stairs?" I looked at him.

"Yes... uhm...  actually- I am. Stairs and steep slopes scare me. It'll be impossible for me to take those stairs."

"Larry - you're bullshitting me - right ? You just took the stairs, to get to my office. How'd ya do that? What did you do - close your fucking eyes?"

He looked back at me and smiled meekly. I looked at Michelle and raised my eyebrows. "Michelle... how about you? " 

"No... no... no... I.m good. I mean, uhh, I have some things... I.m working on - but I should be fine. Uhm... That warehouse we're going to... it's not that big, black, brick building... near the train tracks - is it?"

"Yes..." I replied. "It might be... Why? Are you afraid of buildings or something ?"

"Come on Paul - THAT would be fucking stupid. No... I.m not afraid of buildings. I.m just afraid... of the color black. It's a phobia called - Melanophobia, and black... just terrifies me!  Oh...  and... I uh... also have, Lockiophobia - but that... won't bother me here, at all."

"No kidding?" Darren chimed in. "You too? Wow... and I thought my wife was the only one with Lockiophobia," Michelle smiled knowingly at Darren... and blew him... a kiss...

"All right... all right... what, the fuck, is Lockiophobia ?"

"It's a fear... of childbirth Paul, " replied Michelle, in a very soft voice. Brett put his arms around Michelle's shoulder.

Darren looked at me and spoke. "You know Paul, they estimate that there are over 355 million people world wide, who suffer from some sort of phobia. So it's really not that strange. It's a serious anxiety disorder, that most people are afraid to even admit, they have."

"Really... ? Well then... what are we going to do about these buildings, that I wanted to visit today? Am I going alone ?" I looked at the group of them and leaned back in my chair, exasperated. Then it dawned on me...

"Darren... you and your wife have four . How can she be afraid of childbirth?"

Darren looked at me... and then at the others... and started laughing. Brett, Michelle and Larry all began cracking up as well. Larry's coffee spilled over the edge of his cup, as he chuckled.

Michelle looked at me and spoke, "I was going to tell you, that I also had Androphobia and Phallophobia, but I figured you wouldn't believe me. Paul... you know what today is? It is - 'International Let's Mess With Someone Day'...  and you're the one, we picked... to mess with." 

"You guys, are seriously messed up," I looked at them.

The chortles, guffaws and giggles, continued for a while. I didn't really think, it was all that funny. But when I found out what Androphobia was - well... I had to laugh. It is the fear of men, and Michelle is the biggest slu.t in the office: that is off the record of course. And Phallophobia... well... you figure it out.

We piled into my car. It was a really... tight... squeeze. Darren is a bear of a man, but we made it. All until Larry, started yelling at Brett. "Don't touch me for fucks sake. Don't touch me... asshole. You know I have Aphenphosmphobia."

© December 2018 Paul P.
What type of fears (or phobias) , do you have?

How many women out there are suffering from Phllophobia ?
Some men, might suffer from Eurotophobia, but they won't admit it here.

Aphenphosmphobia = Fear of being touched
Phallophobia = The fear of a penis
Eurotophobia = Fear of female genitalia
The treatment for most phobias is to - confront them head on and face them. The sufferer of the phobia gradually becomes desensitized to their fear.
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Please Stop Sending Me Vagina Pics
Posted:Dec 11, 2018 12:52 am
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2020 9:44 am
I am literally inundated with more than a hundred pictures of vaginas on a weekly basis. Now don't get me wrong... all men love vaginas and what we can do with them, and I.m one of those men who - absolutely adores them. But seriously ... ladies...  is that all that you are? A pussy attached to a body, ready to swallow up and squeeze my dick in your love muscle? What about your mind, or does that organ even function ?

My inbox is overflowing and I don't know what to do with all of them - pics that is. Each one special in it's own cute, sexy hot and wet way. Some sheared smooth and quite handsome. Others... are excessively hairy , and with all due respect - require some serious maintenance. Let's face it.... they are all starting to look alike ! In fact I have had to cancel my Gold Membership in order to quell the influx of all those pussy pics. 

I.m tired of mindless sex. It is so fatiguing. My profile clearly states;

"... If you're an intelligent woman with a wicked sense of humour, and interesting conversation flows easily for you - then I'd be intrigued.  "

It's pretty obvious that these women haven't even read my profile. I don't bother blocking those ladies, I simply ignore the offending emails and move on. And just because my profile, also says :

"... I am looking for some shared laughs, and then... I.m sure we'll figure things out. "

Does that imply that my dick is here just waiting to be used and abused by your hungry vaginas? Come to think of it... perhaps I.m giving out the wrong signals. Yes - sex is important, but it is not the only thing that is of value to me. What about a stimulating conversation ? How about getting to know me; talking with me and becoming familiar with my hopes and dreams ? I'd love to go out for dinner or a movie. There is more to me, than just my penis - isn't there?

I get messages similar to; "Well... you have pics of your penis on your profile - when can we fuck?" Not even a - "Hello... How are you ?" While it is true, I have dic pics on my profile - they are for 'friends only'. Why can't we start off by being 'friends'? Why do I have to be treated like some sort of fuck machine? Well ... for now ... I'll let things be. My little rant is over.

The above blog post was one that I have written in advance... for that day, when I am inundated with too many vagina pics. I will post it then. Yes... you can be sure. I will post it... on that day. Someday... One day... 

Until then... please keep those vagina pics, coming. Send them to me at - 'My Private Mail Box '- here on my blog. My other mail box, is slammed! 😱 😁

© December 2018 Paul P..
Any women having a similar problem - but with too many dic pics?
Any guys having issues, with too many vagina pics in their emails?
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. .

To link to this blog (Paulxx001) use [blog Paulxx001] in your messages.

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