Saturday Night 5/1
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Posted:May 1, 2021 6:01 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2021 1:09 pm
2491 Views
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Well it's been about 7 days since my last release. home alone and horny af.
I've been thinking about this moment all . Sitting my laptop, blood slowly filling my flaccid penis. I can feel it starting to push against my pants.
The dopamine is starting to do it's thing. Can I Resist? Am I strong enough?
In the end does it really matter? All that matters is the pleasure, the sweet agony of building to that blessed climax then the all encompassing release that we each long for in one way or another.
That sudden rush and the contraction as my penis swells and throbs, erupting in orgasmic bliss.
The sticky gooey aftermath dripping down my stomach as my senses return to .
Satisfaction is all I feel at that point, not caring about anything else except my next "fix"
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Failure
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Posted:Apr 28, 2021 5:27 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2021 6:01 pm
3005 Views
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I'm a failure. I can't keep my hand off my penis. I am addicted to that dopamine flood that engulfs my brain when I sit at my desk with the computer on and porn playing on the screen.
My fingers wrapped around my throbbing shaft. Hand sliding up and down the rigid rod. Eyes glazed over. Brain numb to everything except the pleasure of fucking my fist.
It started in my pre years. I found a stash of Penthouse Variations under my parents bed.
32 years later I am full blown porn addict. I didn't recognize my addiction until it ended my marriage and even then I didn't quit.
I figured I was single now it didn't matter. I was wrong.
the few women I dated after the divorce were sorely disappointed in my performance. I could get rock hard like a horny teenage but I could stay hard once the sex started. after a few minutes I would be as limp as limp as overcooked spaghetti.
but with porn I could maintain my erection and even edge for hours to a mind numbing orgasm. So I did what any rational horny porn addicted male would do in that position.
I stopped dating and leaned into my addiction. That was a mistake.
I have meet several women since then that were interested in me and probably would have made fantastic partners. I missed out on those opportunities out of shame and embarrassment.
I tried quitting only to find myself back in that familiar position chasing that dopamine rush. Pleasuring myself to release again and again.
I need help.
I live in a small town in Wyoming. Help is hard to find so I am here. I feel I can be open about it and receive candid feed back from the people I meet here.
Please don't hesitate to comment or send me a message. Any input will be appreciated.
I hope to blog about my recovery more than my relapsing. I plan on being as honest as I can be.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog if you happen to stumble upon it. I'm sure that among the many numerous blogs on Heated Affairs mine will get lost but I am hoping just putting it out there will help me.
It has been almost 3 days since my last session with an orgasm. My average is a week with weekends being the most difficult of course.
I am signing off for now. I hope to hear from any readers soon.
Thank you
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