Women Are Sluts  

New2Midlo 52M  
723 posts
9/26/2014 2:03 pm

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9/26/2014 2:51 pm

Women Are Sluts

At least the good ones are.

I’ll admit this post will likely ramble a bit, hell, it’s just as likely to be utter garbage. But that’s seemingly par for the course with most blogs; spout massive volumes of erroneous self-serving drivel and pretend it’s important. But I digress. I’ll also preface by stating that the garbage coming from my keyboard is based upon my own experiences and conversations; your mileage may vary. Being a student of human nature (you become quite adept at understanding what makes people tick when you’ve been married to someone with borderline personality disorder), I enjoy the differences in how each partner I’ve been intimate with over the years interacts with me. What used to surprise me, when I was younger, was what I guess could be considered the slut factor, specifically how many women have a higher one than one might guess. Growing up in puritanical middle of nowhere PA, I was raised to believe that slutty women were not desirable for anything beyond a quick fuck. Women who spontaneously flash their boobs to you, touch themselves while on the way home from dinner (or touch themselves for you at all), or blow you in public were considered undesirable. But as I’ve matured, I’ve found that more women have a slutty to them than not. And it’s a beautiful thing! Slutty being a descriptor and not a value judgment term, btw.

As I think of companions I’ve enjoyed over the years, I begin to think like a guy and want to categorize them. While the slut factor is obviously a sliding scale with no absolutes, in my experience, women tend to fall into four different buckets. A bit of clarification first. The observations I’ve made were in the context of ‘traditional relationships’ with women who were potential long term relationships. All bets are off with one night stands and random hookups, which completely change the dynamics below.

The first two are the easy ones. There’s the uninhibited slut. She enjoys being dirty, regardless of the partner(s), setting, or law enforcement present. She thrives on being nasty and it gets her off. She doesn’t care who knows she’s a dirty girl and it may even excite her further the more people who do know.

On the other end of the spectrum is the non-slut. Regardless of how ravenous or nonexistent her sex drive, she wants a traditional and vanilla fucking. Fuck her, go down on her, she might blow you, and that’s it. Don’t even think of tying her up because she isn’t into it. (I’ll explain why later.) I’ve experienced a few of these women but I usually don’t maintain any sort of ongoing sexual relationship with them.

The middle groupings tends to get a bit squishier; call the first closet sluts. These are women who love being slutty, but want to keep it under cover. She’s tried it all and knows what she likes. The code word to unlock the fun for her is trust. Her sluttiness (which spell check hasn’t recognized yet) is solid but tends to only come out when she’s confident there won’t be negative consequences as a result. She needs to know her partner won’t recoil when she unzips his pants in a parking lot or screams like a banshee when she orgasms. ‘Is he going to freak out when I ask him to tie me up and spank me?’ Once that trust is established, she goes from zero to delicious dirty girl in a heartbeat. In all honesty, I haven’t run into too many women who fall into this group.

Most women I’ve encountered fall into the category I refer to as the slut in training. Those that live in this realm have some experience being slutty but they still have plenty of exploring to do. They would enjoy being sluttier but aren’t always sure how to go about it. They are a bit more self-conscious about pushing boundaries with their partners and will require the right kind of motivation to expand boundaries. Hell, even at 40, I’ve run across women who are afraid to let me go down on them. Anyway, this woman can be a willing pupil but requires guidance and the proper encouragement to reach slutty perfection. In short, sluts in training love sex and are open to trying most things to enhance the experience, but the road to (greater) depravity for them is more of a boulevard than an autobahn. Trust is even more important to sluts in training than closet sluts.

I love hearing a woman tell me ‘I want to be your dirty little slut.’ And that’s the thing, most closet sluts and sluts in training want to be your slut and your slut only. When they want to push boundaries, they want you to take charge and shove them on their knees to suck you, to spank them and pull their hair while you take them from behind, to find a quiet place in the park where you can pull their skirt up and fuck them knowing you might get caught. They want to fantasize about being fucked by multiple guys but they only want you inside them. I’ll circle back to that dynamic in a moment.

But don’t try to lead with ‘I want you to be my slut’. Most women, who want to be sluts, want you to ‘prove yourself’ first. Even closet sluts, in the context of a relationship, may want you to make your first time together somewhat special.

That leads to the question of what drives many women to enjoy being sluts for their partners.

Women have come a long way in terms of respect in society and the workplace. They’ve worked their asses off to gain parity with men and have no time or respect for those who blatantly and consistently view women as subservient second class humans. They spend most of their waking hours having to work so hard (harder than men, in most cases) to maintain their standing and keep it together that they may begin to doubt their own femininity. They rightfully demand a partner who will value them as an equal and afford them the respect they deserve. Yet, they still want to feel like a hot and desirable woman. Inside, there is a part of them that wants to be objectified and controlled; they want their trusted partner to ‘stake their claim’ and take ownership. But only with a partner they trust (or one night stand). I’ve had more than one successful woman share this sentiment with me.

One told me, almost verbatim, ‘I spend all day running my business, maintaining a household, making decisions, being a good mother, and all that other garbage. So, in bed, I want my guy to take charge, spank my ass, pull my hair, and make me his fuck toy. I want to feel like a woman.’

Insert applicable commentary on traditional roles between the sexes as you see fit.

While most of the above isn’t necessarily new, I’ll throw out an observation that may incite some controversy. It’s a corollary of the above and it’s that intelligent women with high self-esteem make the best sluts. If a woman is secure in herself, knows she’s respected by her partner, peers, etc. it makes her more comfortable stepping out of that persona, into being a fuck toy. She has no fear that she’ll be stuck in that role, knowing she can easily slip back into her ‘confident side’. ‘Spank me, manhandle me, use me like your in bed because I know, once we’re done, you’ll respect me for the confident woman I am.’ She’s more willing to take the risks that might be involved in enhancing her sexual experience.

Conversely, women who are less secure might be more concerned about being respected regardless of the context. They have difficulty divorcing being a fuck toy in bed from being seen in the same light elsewhere. They are less likely to be able to ‘let go’ because, again, they don’t want to universally be perceived as someone who doesn’t deserve respect.

My own experiences support the above, time and time again. The women who are confident and almost domineering with their clothes on are the ones who most want to be treated like a dirty (quoting a few women with that, btw) in the bedroom. In fact, the more confident a woman is, the more dirty and submissive she’ll be; again, based upon my own experiences. It’s always been the really confident women I’ve heard screaming ‘I’m a dirty little ’ for me. Conversely, I’ve dated women who were the poster for insecurity and I couldn’t even hint at trying something they considered degrading in the sack. Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule but I’m talking trends here.

There does come a point where a woman’s self-esteem drops low enough that she becomes more open to being a slut for you. That one’s pretty obvious; she wants you to not reject her so she’s willing to push boundaries to maintain your approval. Again, exceptions, rules, etc. Then again, I’m not claiming anything I’ve written resembles anything so constrictive as a rule. As noted, these are trends based upon my own observations.

You’re sitting there saying to yourself, I’ve been with a few confident women and they weren’t slutty at all; what’s up with that? The most common reason I’ve heard from women as to why they aren’t sluttier is because so many men are insecure. There are a couple of dynamics at play here. First, there’s the ‘why does she need me around?’ factor. This one comes out when a woman pulls out some toys or brings herself off while with her partner. Side note of irony as these behaviors are turn on’s for guys; until they happen. One told me about having to stroke the ego of a previous boyfriend after he freaked out when she pulled out her favorite toy and it was bigger than he was. ‘That thing gets her off so why does she need me around?’ That’s how some guys think, unfortunately. The other factor that brings out men’s insecurity is their partner’s ‘dirty past’. They want their girlfriend / wife to be a dirty for them. But if the gf/wife suggests dirty things that turn them on, they risk their partner going into the mode of ‘damn, she must be a real to find out that turns her on.’ Followed by ‘someone taught her that thing that I’ve never thought of so why would she want to be with me?’ So many guys still secretly harbor the ‘I want to be the first’ feelings toward women that they have serious issues when confronted with evidence to the contrary. ‘Just how did she learn she liked to be DP’d? What a !’

My ideal partner has to be the slut in training. This has nothing to do with insecurity and not wanting a woman who’s experienced more than me. What it does have to do with is how much I enjoy exploration and, if I’m honest, my competitive streak. Very little gives me as much satisfaction, in the sack, than helping a partner discover something new that completely trips her trigger. Hearing ‘oh my God, I never thought I’d like that’ is an amazing feeling! Okay, maybe there’s some insecurity there and likely other pettiness too, knowing she’ll pull out a trick I taught her with her next partner and having him wonder how she learned she liked it.

Probably my favorite experience of helping my partner discover new things was with a girl I dated a few years ago. We had just started dating; in fact, I think it was the second time we slept together when this happened. She had me in my mouth and I asked her if she wanted to touch herself while she sucked my cock. She hesitated for a moment then her hand went between her legs. This girl was a complete g-spot girl but she started cumming almost immediately from her touching her clit. After a few moments, she looked up and asked if she should move so I could see her fingering her clit better. Uh, yep! She just kept cumming over and over, moaning and choking on my cock. Yeah, it was hot. What amazed me was how afterward, she gushed (literally and figuratively) over how hot doing that made her. That she wouldn’t have thought much of it since she never got off that way. After that, any time she performed oral on me, her fingers went right for her clit. Again, I relished hearing her discovering new ways to enjoy herself, even into her late 30’s. She told me the new trick turned her on so much that she’d have to pull out her toy every time she thought about it. BTW, she was one of the girls who claimed to be a complete closet slut. I taught her a few more new things but that’s another story.

One final thought. Don’t for a second think that a true blue slut will automatically be good in the sack. More on that later.

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