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Staying in KC - The Best Option?
Posted:Jun 22, 2021 8:43 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 10:48 am

We'll wait a minute or so for my regular readers to pick themselves up off the ground after reading the title...

As I await what I hope will be a solid job offer to arrive this week, I decided to be proactive and explore living options. I checked out both the shit PA city, where my new office would be located (I grew up there, so I know it's shit) and home (Richmond, VA). Because I would want to relocate to Richmond, regardless, I would only lease a house in PA. Richmond could be a lease or potentially a purchase out of the gate. Long story short, the housing situation is fucked, which I somewhat expected, considering the boom that's going on at the moment.

Because of said boom, I've ruled out buying a home in either location. It would piss me off to spend a bunch of money on a house, only to see it lose 15% of its value, once things even out again. Besides, the only things on the market are overpriced new construction. On the rental side of things, there are literally no options that meet my criteria at any price within 45 minutes of my potential new office, in PA. At 46 minutes out, there's a 5,500+ sq ft house for rent at $3,250. Both are a bit above my threshold. Hell, I'd get lost in that place!

Richmond is slightly better, in terms of rental options, but not great. There are slightly better purchase options, but damn, if those prices haven't jumped since I last went house shopping in the area.

Much as it kills me to say, I think it's in my best interest to stay put in KC, where I've got a reasonable lease, and ride things out. This might make for a difficult conversation with my new employer, but unless they want to offer me an even beefier signing bonus, they can't force me to move somewhere there ain't a place to move into. Don't get me wrong, I'll still hate this flat hell hole, but I'll at least have a solid exit strategy.
Analyzing Statistics - Airplane Crashes
Posted:Jun 21, 2021 7:00 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 10:49 am

While surfing random material today, I came across the following statistic:
80% of airplane crashes occur during either the first eight minutes or the last three minutes of the flight. I would argue that 0% of crashes occur within the last seconds of the flight.
Scientists and Dating Sites
Posted:Jun 16, 2021 4:21 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 10:49 am

Because my life doesn't contain sufficient trauma, I continue the on again, off again, dating thing, although a lesser extent, knowing I'll be moving in the near future. In any case, I've discovered another trend I think is worth reporting on. I've only encountered this one on Pl3nty of F1sh and it's a head scratcher. Over the course of the past few weeks, I've noticed a number of women listing their occupation as cosmologist. For those who may not be clear on what a cosmologist does (I was a bit vague, myself), they're scientists that study the universe; how it formed, how it's changed, and what exists within it. What's odd is none of them have advanced degrees and all have pictures with their faces with impeccable makeup.

Yep, there are a bunch of women cosmetologists who can't even spell what they do for a living.
It's a Fucking Axolotl FFS!
Posted:Jun 11, 2021 2:36 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 11:27 am
Lately, I've been writing about some subjects that are a bit controversial. To be clear, I don't expect everyone to agree with me. Everyone's entitled to their opinions, just as entitled to mine. I live for spirited debate and will concede, should someone make a well reasoned counterpoint to my position.

But my last entry, which had to do with statistics on what Americans believe in, got more than its share of 'hate '. Strange, considering I didn't throw in a ton of opinion, instead regurgitating facts and statistics. Despite how much dying to turn the tables and the overly sensitive dump supporters snowflakes, that's not what I want to highlight here.

We've all seen the the 'What do you think?' on the side of each comment, allowing you to agree or disagree. Most every comment critical of our former president had at least one disagree, while those that insulted me had at least one person agree. Believe it or not, that doesn't bother me.

However, what really fucking pisses me off is that someone clicked disagree on my comment 'Axolotl can regrow the same limb up to 5 times'. How the fuck can you disagree with a well documented fact, you moron? It's a cute little thing that hasn't done anything to you. You can disagree with me all you want, but you do.not.fuck.with.the.amphibian.
Millions of People Believe The Election Was Stolen
Posted:Jun 10, 2021 1:51 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:48 am

Over the past few months, we've all heard this over and over from right wing dipshit members of Congress and state governors. The statement is invariably used as justification for increasing the security of our election process. Of course their definition is to make the process more secure from those pesky people of color and other left leaning types. The dipshits are no longer claiming the election had actually been stolen, because anyone with half a brain would vilify them for being morons and/or liars. The cry is that millions of people believe it was.

What makes my head hurt is how they're claiming action is required because millions of people believe something happened that didn't happen at all. If the election was stolen from the Cheeto Faced Shit Gibbon, why didn't the Dems steal any state legislatures and flip them? If you're defrauding the poor Liar in Chief out of his office, why not go big? Also, why don't you tell them it didn't happen, moron? You know...the truth??? Fuck you, logic and reason. But I digress.

Rather than cause my readers and myself to have an aneurism by further discussing the moronic talking points, I want to provide some context with respect to the number of people who believe the lie, versus other not real things Americans believe in. All of the numbers below are from one or more legitimate studies, based upon responses by American adults. Let's see if there are any other misconceptions that require a more urgent response.

Our baseline: 30-50 million Republicans believe the outcome of the Presidential election was due to fraud, depending on your source and day of the week.

Again, what about others who aren't that bright? We need to address their concerns in a far more urgent matter versus our baseline group.*

- 1 million people (44 percent) aren't confident vaccines don't cause autism

- 85 million (33 percent) Americans are unable to identify a right protected in the first amendment to the Constitution. A similar amount were unable to name either of the three branches of the US government. If a third of Americans don't know jack about the Constitution, how the fuck would they know if an election had been stolen?

- 65 million (25 percent) believe the sun revolves around the earth.

- 52 million (20 percent) don't know hamburgers are made from beef.

Other groups that are smaller, but more disconcerting, should be addressed as well.

- 18 million (7 percent) think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

- million (5 percent) believe a master race of interstellar lizard people secretly run the US. Offers a good rationale for not learning the Constitution, I guess.

There are a lot of Americans impacted by these various concerns, for much longer than the dumb MAGA heads have been impacted by their most recent stupidity. What about them? More people don't know that hamburgers are made from beef than believe the election was stolen! What about the ??

If you're looking for some kernel of wisdom in this entry, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. However, I will offer my own conclusion from the above data, which is Americans are fucking dumbasses who deserve to be ruled by the lizard people.

*Numbers based upon basis of 258 million adults in the US.

I so need to get laid so I can stop writing off the cuff material representing a thinly veiled 'get off my lawn'.
Attorneys, Round 2
Posted:Jun 8, 2021 9:45 am
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:48 am

Now that blogs are showing up again, I can share an update with respect my attorneys entry below. While the mean, scary letter failed to make me soil myself, still got my attention. Despite Company B's counsel uttering 'They can't do shit!', I engaged my own legal counsel on the matter. Long story short, the activities I was engaging in do not meet the legal definition of soliciting (the term used in my non-compete). Company A whacked me and I was um, helping friends at Company A with other opportunities with Company B. However, it meets the definition of soliciting if I'm employed by or otherwise being compensated by Company B. Neither of these are true.

My attorney has had a few conversations with Company B's counsel, and plans on responding to Company A's attorney with a statement of facts and informing them they can go pound sand.

With respect to going to work for a direct competitor, which the letter accused me of doing, again, they can't do shit. Never mind that judges take a dim view of companies attempting to prevent their former employees from making a living, my non-compete doesn't say I can't go work for a competitor. The verbiage pertaining to this is very specific about it applying to those left of their own volition and those were dismissed for cause. Nothing says someone was laid off can't go work for a competitor and if it ain't specifically prohibited, it's fair game.

Making me want to work even more, Company B has also committed cover my attorney's fees.

On a semi-interesting side note, I discovered the attorney from the big, scary firm that sent me the letter was a former Miss Arizona. Not every day a pageant winner sends you a threatening letter.
Error in submitting your comment
Posted:Jun 2, 2021 4:52 pm
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2021 5:26 pm

This one was denied because I hurt a programmer's feelings. Maybe they should fix it instead of denying my post. Dimwits

OMFG, this place sucks!!! I'm getting the error below, when I try respond someone's comments.

Error in submitting your comment
Your answer the captcha is incorrect, please try again.

And my answer the captcha can't be incorrect, because THERE IS NO FUCKING CAPTCHA, YOU MORONS!!!

Hire a few high school , so your website doesn't run like such a massive pile of shit.
Dating Expectations - Nebraska Edition
Posted:Jun 2, 2021 6:37 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2021 2:32 pm

Surfing through my phone, while waiting for my mother at a doctor's appointment yesterday, I found myself on the dating app that reminds you of the material you'd use to start a fire. I encountered the profile of a woman who resides in Omaha, Nebraska. She must have been in KC today, to pop up, but that's neither here nor there. Her photos were mostly of her dressed up for one event or another, with no shorts or yoga pants to be found. A few years ago, she would have made DPOW for her profile consisting solely of what she didn't want in a man, but the true reason for my taking note is what those deal breakers were. She stated emphatically that she didn't like hunting and asked what I can only assume to be the rhetorical question of why so many men posted pictures with fish they caught.

I literally chuckled out loud in the doctor's office.

I'm offering what I think is a well-reasoned rebuttal to her requirements: You wannabe socialite of the flatlands!!! You fucking live in Nebraska and take issue with outdoorsmen??? Where the fuck do you think you live, Manhattan??? Not like there's literally anything else to do in Omaha, in the first place. Fuck, half the women there have photos of fish they caught on their profiles too. If you want a trove of sophisticated and urbane gentleman, MOVE!!! Besides, the Omaha ballet has been cancelled this year because someone stole the tutu.

Now, get off of my lawn...
Posted:Jun 1, 2021 2:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:49 am

Staying with the saga of trying be recruited by an awesome company and facilitating their recruitment of my former colleagues, last night was the group session between the two. It was an opportunity for the folks at my former company be properly introduced what I hope will be my next and last employer. Because of my twenty plus years in the industry, I was already familiar with this organization, but I learned more detail of their strategy, business model, etc. and I want work even more.

Returning the actual point of this entry, I have say I left feeling much fuller, for lack of a better term, than I entered the meeting. No, wasn't because of the awesome cookies in the conference room, rather from my interactions with my former colleagues. After the meeting broke up, we all hung around in little groups, catching up, gossiping, and networking with our perspective new employer. During that time, at least half of those present made a point of coming over me telling me how good was see me. What made me feel full inside was the manner in which those sentiments were conveyed. One would expect a bit of pity or solidarity, from my being unceremoniously hosed out of my job, but that wasn't it.

What I felt in those words, their tone, and accompanying body language was genuine respect. While that may not sound all that earthshattering, it meant a great deal to me to know the impact I'd had on my former colleagues. To know that I hadn't become an afterthought, now that I'm gone. If you read my entry on being a threat, you also know I'd been deprived of such validation, after being ejected from my dream job, which made last night even more meaningful.

If you want a moral or underlying , perhaps 's don't ever think your respect and admiration for someone doesn't mean something them (unless they're a narcissist).
It's All Fun & Games Until Attorneys Are Called
Posted:May 27, 2021 5:56 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:49 am

This entry will only be up for a short time for reasons that will become obvious. But I wanted share the latest with my closest internet strangers/

This is for those who remember reading about my current endeavor with a potential employer and determining who may be interested in joining them from my previous employer. That entry has gone bye bye for a good reason. Apparently, I had signed a non-compete with said previous employer that they didn't bother remind of when they whacked . I'd forgotten about said agreement, because I signed it when I joined the company as a condition of employment. For the most part, non-competes are unenforceable because judges typically take a dim view of companies attempting prevent their previous employees from earning a living. So, I ignored it anyway. Well, apparently that little document included a clause about not directly or indirectly soliciting remaining employees for a period of one year.

It seems someone in the company ratted me out about my activities, which were definitely not violating the agreement, and that resulted in a nasty letter from the company's law firm being sent today. If we back up and do the context thing, I'm not employed by the, received a promise of employment, or been compensated for my recent efforts to support previous colleagues in improving their work environment.

The letter accused me of giving my supposed new employer a boatload of trade secrets and such (which they could never prove) and threatened me with legal action for doing damage to the company. They went full scare mode by noting I'd also be receiving the letter via snail and certified .

They moved on the crux of the letter, the soliciting of current employees (which I didn't do). It was stated the only way for the other company could know who had what skills and were in roles that would bring value was through an insider () providing that information. Obviously, whoever wrote this was unaware of this little known platform called LinkedIn, where people have profiles that show their companies, roles, locations, and frequently highlight skills they possess. When he contacted , the guy I was working with already had a list and had reached out everyone on it.

Ultimately, they just wanted sufficiently scare into knocking off my recent efforts. Upon receipt of the letter, I fell into immediate compliance; nothing left to do anyway.

This entry will self-destruct in hours.
I Was a Threat and Had to Go
Posted:May 25, 2021 5:33 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:49 am

We've all heard someone make such a claim legitimize getting whacked from a job. It's typically those you know be incompetent who make it, so no one takes it seriously. However, in my case, it's true. Below is my story. I know it's a bit long, but I think it's worth the ride, if only for the moments when you find yourself saying 'He did what?'

It started out as the best thing that happened in my career. The first time I was an actual executive with a VP title and everything. All of North American sales and marketing reported to me. The company was privately held, based in Switzerland, but mostly run by Germans. I was the first American to run the business in over a decade as was my boss, the president of North America.

Unfortunately, I quickly realized my boss was in way over his head. He'd never actually managed anyone before and his previous role was as an application engineer. The controller and I agreed we'd mentor the president; we were confident he'd rise to the occasion. Except, not only did he not rise, he withdrew and became more resentful toward me as time went by.

When I started, he told me he would be in the office from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m. as he was responsible for the logistics for his offspring at school. He'd be working from home and available on his mobile outside that window. Except not only did he keep that same schedule year round, he was completely dark, when not in the office. And that's when he decided to come in at all. On the full days he worked from home, he was not only unreachable, but occasionally posted golf scores on his page (according those who were friends with him). There were periods of time where no one knew where he was or could get in touch with him. One of those was when a board member from Switzerland popped by. 'We were in the same meetings, how could he just disappear?' Uh, dunno...ask him if he ever surfaces.

The man refused to make a decision on anything. The most jaw dropping example was at a baseball game. We'd booked sky boxes for the entire staff, complete with catering. Sometime around the 6th inning, a hostess popped by to ask Jason if we were about done eating or would we like a final food restoc My girlfriend and I were sitting behind Jason and looked at each other, stunned, when he literally began stammer, finally spitting out 'uh...go ask our controller'. That's how paralyzed he was.

Another perfect example of his complete lack of ownership was the day our office was in the path of a complete nightmare of a storm. Hail, wind, torrential rain. We lost power, but that shouldn't have been a problem because our building had a generator. Except it wouldn't start because Jason had failed to sign the maintenance agreement. So there we were; about 20 people dead in the water without power. After it was clear that situation wouldn't be remedied any time soon, I headed over to Jason's office to huddle up on next steps. I planned to let my own people go home, but he owned the operations side. I wanted us to be aligned on our actions. When I reached his door, he was in front of it, his cute little backpack on his shoulders, key in hand. When I asked what he was doing, he said 'I'm goin' home.' I stood there dumbfounded as he walked away, his people stuck in the dead building because he hadn't given them permission to leave. I turned on my heel and went around, sending everyone home. The most telling aspect of the story came the next morning, when the warehouse manager called my cell to inform me the power was still off and that they needed direction. Despite him being completely useless, I always deferred to Jason on operations issues and responded to the warehouse manager that Jason would have to make that call. She interrupted me mid sentence to say she'd already tried him and it went right to voicemail. Then, she said something to the effect of 'you and I both know Jason's MIA and couldn't make a decision even if I did reach him.' Wow.

Because of his paralysis, I became the de facto leader of North America. And I worked my ass off for my team; 60 hour weeks were the norm. I quickly garnered their respect by being decisive and having a vision for the future (and communicating it). There were literally occasions where a customer service person would stop at my door and say 'I'm so excited for the direction you're taking us'. This was the shit I lived for.

But with Jason, it was quite the downward spiral. He could see he'd lost the team's respect, whereas I'd gained it. His resentment toward me grew stronger by the day, as he saw me being who the team looked to. He'd occasionally try to force me to kiss the ring, by berating me for doing something he didn't like, but would come up empty when I'd ask how I should have handled it. We were spending too much on promotion, but I caught hell for planning skip some expensive trade shows, where we didn't have anything new promote anyway. There are those who would suggest he was afraid of . Those episodes became more and more common, until they reached a breaking point. I remember telling him 'you want be a leader, then you have lead!!!'

Shortly after, there was some sort of upcoming celebration planned, with both the Swiss owner and the CEO coming in participate. I had solid relationships with both. Things with Jason had gotten the point where it was time for all of his laundry come out. It was time for a coup. Obviously, I kept that myself, but Jason would have had be brain dead not realize I had reached my limit and would serve up a huge mound of dirt on him the Swiss.

That's when Jason actually grew a pair of balls and made a decision ( save himself). He lobbed a note the aforementioned owner and CEO stating I had be dismissed with utmost urgency. This note also outlined my various, and completely fictitious transgressions, support his decision. Because the Swiss are scum bags (I've got a dozen data on that one), they let him do it. I know what happened because the owner and his wife invited dinner with them, after the dust settled. Hans said it came out of the blue. I remember looking him in the eye and asking, 'didn't you think the timing was a bit odd, Hans? He absolutely had get rid of right before you and Walter came over?' Blank stare. With Hans being Swiss, it was dropped there.

Returning when I was shown the door, Jason waited until a day I was working from home inform . He said I was done, that someone would be by collect company property in my possession and deliver my personal effects, and that I would be arrested if found on the company property. Then came the crown jewel that I didn't learn about until later. Jason went around the members of my team I was closest and informed them they were have no communication with and doing so would be grounds for termination. What would lead the president of a company put illegal conditions on employment for select individuals?

In the since, the owner recognized he was in over his head (we was a young guy and his grandfather was the founder) and hired a professional management team. I'm sure the new CEO took a all of minutes see Jason for what he was, although it took a year before Jason was demoted back to engineering manager, having (not) led the North American operation to double digit losses.
Canine Contrition - It Does Exist
Posted:May 22, 2021 11:28 am
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:49 am
So-called experts have long since held the position that dogs are in capable of feeling guilt or remorse for doing something naughty.
This position was confirmed as recently as January of this year, by the AKC. The stance is and has been that when dogs demonstrate body language typically associated with shame or contrition, it's the result of them cuing in on their owners, who are upset over whatever transgression they committed. Owner discovers shredded pillow, owner gets upset (even to a small degree), knows owner is unhappy about dog's behavior, offers contrite body language. While I agree that's the most typical scenario, it's not always the case.

I've called bullshit on this 'expert opinion' for years, particularly after a situation with a previous dog. Today, I received another data point and call the so-called experts out as morons.

Here's a quick review of my experiences. The first was with my border collie, Isabel, who could recite Pi to 1 places and drive a car. Don't call me a liar; she could dammit. Anyway, when we first rescued her, she suffered from frequent urinary tract infections and would have occasional accidents in the house. My first data point is from one such accident. I was working from home, one day. Isabel was sleeping just outside my office, but not where I could see her. We were alone in the house. From nowhere, she quickly walked into my office and glued herself to my side, her body language screaming 'I love you, Daddy!'. Being Daddy's girl, it wasn't unusual for her to show the most affection to me, but this was over the top. I suspected something was up and went to investigate, finding she'd had an accident. Her body language couldn't have been a response to my reaction to her accident, because I wasn't yet aware of it.

Today, my Sadie offered very similar behavior, but I couldn't figure out why. That is until I got a good look at her. For the second time, she'd decided to roll around in her own shit. Somehow, that I'd missed that little tidbit when she came into the house. Still, she knew what she'd done was being a bad doggie, from the previous time she pulled that move, hence the contrition. Again, body language of contrition offered before I was aware of her transgression.

In both cases, it was clear to the dogs that the behaviors were unwelcome, from reactions to their previous occurrences. Be clear that neither were punished; that's a dumb way to modify a dog's behavior. But there were cues that the dogs picked up on. For example, Sadie got tossed right into a bath. When they repeated the behavior, they knew they did something that didn't make their owner happy.

These were completely different dogs, with dissimilar demeanors. While Isabel was insanely smart and loved her Daddy, but had some behavioral challenges, relative to strangers and was afraid of containers. Sadie is a complete saint and the most even tempered, loving I've ever had, but she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

In conclusion, the experts don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

Gratuitous doggie pics below.

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