From The Urinal
Proudly dragging blogging down to the lowest level since 2010
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From The Urinal: Second Edition!
Posted:Aug 3, 2012 2:49 pm
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2014 11:56 am
Welcome to my blog

‘Twas high time that I organised and indeed, tidied things up on here somewhat I mused, so below you’ll find some provided links to what were my ‘sticky’ posts.
I will additionally be attempting to aggregate and categorise my previous posts into OCD friendly, neat little piles
Hmmm….’tis a daunting task indeed so wish me luck….

In the meantime, I very much hope that you enjoy your visit; There’s tea and coffee provided in the corner and the toilet is just through that door…(please try not to shit it up though as I’ve only just cleaned the bloody thing up!)

The PRIVATE Sticky Post – Click here to send me private messages which no one else will see…. Oooooh!
The 39Sticky39 post – Your chance to send me messages which every one, their entire families and more than likely, governmental agencies worldwide will behold.
Agony Uncle – Got a problem? Need help? Join the bloody queue then. Nonetheless, tell me anyway and I promise to sort it out.…maybe.
The 39Talking Out Your Arse39 post – Do you enjoy talking about completely random shit? Me to! So come on over and let’s talk shit together!
Your Blog - Your chance to your blog and share it with other readers here; Go on - don't be bashful; Let's share the love everyone
HNW Pics
Posted:May 10, 2012 9:36 am
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2016 4:45 am
I've received a special request asking me to index my Half-Nekkid Wednesday contributions in order to save people who wish to view them having to trawl through all the plethora of sick shit that I post on my blog

No problemo - you'll find all the relevant pics here:

HNW Index

Posted:Mar 1, 2016 1:33 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2016 8:32 am

Hmmm....I'm noticing a few bugs on here at present (even more than normal!) and have read that I'm not alone in experiencing this. I sadly can't even access my last blog post and my 'activity' report is showing some bizarre figures.
In fact, much more of this and I will resort to growing abnormally hairy bollocks and take to having sex with my socks on whilst my TV is on full volume in the background whereupon I will promptly post the resulting video to the member vids section.
Thank you for listening
Social Media Sites (or whatever they're called).....
Posted:Feb 24, 2016 10:17 am
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2016 4:11 am

So......I've been perusing one or two social sites as is apparently a prerequisite in society these days and was subsequently struck by a number of things.
They appear to be almost exclusively populated by people who a) take pictures of and post their food prior to consuming it. (Just eat the bloody thing!) Post statuses that they are presently at the gym (Yeah right, obviously taking time out between sets to post such banal updates then?) and c) post cryptic shite which only the author understands such as, and may I quote this particularly heartfelt example; 'I should have given them more of a chance; Now my heart will ache forever more' JESUS H CHRIST! - Who or what the hell are you going on about?! A person? A film you walked out of half way through? WHAT?!) (Actually, I personally don't give a shit and would greatly appreciate it if you kept such dismal drivel off of the feed!)
Seriously.....what the hell has society degenerated into?
When did such mundane crap become the order of the day?
Thy thoughts?
Math's Test: (It's good for your brain everyone)
Posted:Jan 27, 2016 8:05 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2017 5:19 am
John is over the moon at having set a new world record for most Carolina Reaper chillies consumed within an hour. However, his celebrations prove sadly somewhat short lived when he subsequently develops an urgent (make that VERY urgent) desire to visit the toilet. At this point John inadvertently breaks another world record, namely for the largest amount of diarrhoea passed within five minutes.
Being a keen, budding scientist however and so as to derive at least something positive from the experience, John opts to weigh himself afterwards. He notices with interest that he has subsequently lost a grand total of 57 pounds. However he also observes further that approximately 4.6 pounds of this brown, fetid matter still resides in his pants (which for reasons best known only to himself) he is still wearing.
If John weighed 13.7 stones prior to this fascinating escapade, what percentage of his total body weight has he lost and how much does he presently weigh?

...And tonight's main news headline is....
Posted:Jan 19, 2016 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2016 7:51 am

Holy Crap! What an amazing story; I'll at least sleep easier now though, knowing that the hat was luckily discovered by such a clearly fine and upstanding and indeed, wise member of the community and can only be thankful that it wasn't a scarf up there to.
Happy New Year :)
Posted:Jan 11, 2016 11:33 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2016 7:59 am

Salutations once again
I hope everyone is well and enjoying a good start to the new year?

I see that there's been a few changes to the site since I last posted, most notably that lowly standard members such as myself can no longer read messages
This came as quite a shock to me as upon opening one I was initially gobsmacked to find that the theory of masturbation causing blindness might actually carry some credence judging by the sudden case of startling myopia that I found myself suffering from.
Thankfully (but no less unwelcome) it actually turns out that those in charge have taken to blurring messages....Oh well, I can carry on playing with myself with peace of mind at least
Trough Urinals...A tale Of Woe
Posted:Feb 16, 2015 11:32 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2016 7:32 pm

Question: Who the hell invented this most deplorable of designs of urinary receptacle?
Yes chaps, you will know exactly what I'm referring to but for my fair lady readers, I shall fill you in with a brief description of these ghastly, unhygienic abominations.
You see, urinals fall broadly into two categories, namely individual (or enclosed) and communal.
The former describes any receptacle wherein only the present user or pisser if you will, is making use of said receptacle thereof at a time. An example of this is the common 'Kidney' urinal, so termed as it ever so tenuously, resembles a kidney....presumably from a giant. This individual type model means that whilst one may find themselves (regretfully) stood directly next to a fellow pissing patron, only ones own piss will be entering the urinal being used (unless of course ones neighbor has particularly poor aim and is spraying all over the room)
The second kind as mentioned before, is the communal urinal wherein EVERYONE pisses into the thing at the same time. The dreaded trough urinal is the classic design of this type.
Needless to say, this latter design has a few pitfalls...
Take earlier on today for instance, when I had the misfortune and great ignominy to find myself stood at one of these infernal things.
It was rather crowded to say the least, with each of we chaps stood shoulder to shoulder as we relieved ourselves (and NO! - I don't mean that in any sexual way, you dirty minded buggers!)
Anyway, so there I was urinating unhappily away into this flowing yellow sea of communal piss when I was somewhat shocked to observe what I can only assume to have been somebody's unwanted kidney stone floating merrily on by me in the direction of the drainage hole!
It was around this time also that I became aware that the guy next to me was pissing with such force into the trough that I was (most ungratefully) receiving his urinary splash back onto my person.
Recoiling thus back in horror, I promptly marched over to the hand washers to give my coat and hands a damned good cleanse.
Needless to say, but as is regretfully typical in public toilets here in the UK, the bloody thing didn't work!
This aggravated my OCD tendencies somewhat as I was subsequently forced to go and buy one of those water free, hand sanitising gel things from a nearby shop which smelt suspiciously like Gin (the hand gel I mean, not the shop.....which actually smelt more like piss to me...or perhaps the stench had just stuck in my nostrils from the public toilets a few minutes prior.....or perhaps even worse it may have even been coming from me after the guy sprayed me at the urinal!)
Either way, 'twas not my happiest hour

In other news: I watched Taken 3 yesterday. My review? What a pile of shit!
Be sure to come back next time when I will be giving my professional verdict on the 'controversial' (oooohhhhh!) Fifty Shades Of Grey (which incidentally looks similarly, utter shit from where I'm sitting)
...And today's big question is....
Posted:Jan 7, 2015 4:49 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2016 7:33 pm
....Finger and toe nails.....WHY?
Why have we evolved with them? Please discuss.
Ok, so finger nails do admittedly facilitate a few advantages such as delicate actions but what exact purpose do toe nails serve?

And whilst you're pondering this seemingly infathamable question, here are the record holders for the world's longest nails....

Nasty eh? And bloody useless to! You couldn't even scratch your own arse with those!
Member Vids.....right that does it!!!
Posted:Dec 28, 2014 7:00 am
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2015 4:20 am

Yes, it's official: I'm becoming celibate from now on!
Why? Well some of the vids on here have put me right off sex for bloody life I swear!
Have you seen some of these things? Damn, the agglomeration of ALL the sick pics I've posted on my blog over the years can't even begin to compete with some of the nasty goings on in many of the vids on here. (I am crestfallen at being beaten so soundly!) BASTARDS!

Anyhoo, on happier matters, I hope you all had a merry Christmas and happy New Year?
- No, wait, the last part hasn't transpired yet (ah, the wonders of possessing a time machine!)

Ya, so I see the so called, Lizard Group have been busy messing up the Sony Playstation and Microsoft Xbox networks...Arseholes! - I was on a major Killstreak on COD at the time! Thanks a fucking bunch for that!

In other news, Renee Zellweger....WTF?!!! Have you seen her lately?! Is it really the same person?!

Here's a question: Who or what sort of dejected creature composes the 'jokes' found in Christmas crackers?
Seriously?! I haven't laughed so little since I caught my scrotum in the zip of my flies.

And finally the weather: It is fucking freezing here today!
Member vids...the horror continues!
Posted:Nov 24, 2014 5:55 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2014 9:25 am

...So...I was (once again) perusing the member videos earlier (it's become somewhat of a morbid fascination of mine it seems).
Anyway, as my regular readers will readily attest (possibly if suitably bribed), I am a firm purveyor of good taste and a righteous upholder of moral decency....yes.
Well, I can honestly state that I was shocked and repulsed by what my eyes did witness!
Good reader, let me tell you I saw not one, but two, yes TWO instances of couples engaging in carnal pursuits wherein the male partners in this vulgar act were............WEARING SOCKS!!!
Yay verily, I jest thee not - naked bar for their foot garments I tell you!
I swear unto thee that the shock of this most heinous of sights almost caused me to urinate upon my kitchen floor, but then I remembered that I had witnessed this act in another video already, a few days prior.

In other breaking news I've just been viewed by a truly beautiful lady who's profile picture shows her proudly holding aloft two....lobsters(!!!) WTF?!

Am I going mad here?! Help!!!
The return of Weird Signs
Posted:Nov 24, 2014 8:34 am
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2015 12:03 pm
Regular readers may recall that I used to feature unusual signs from around the world on my blog.
Well, by huge, popular demand of precisely no one, here we go again and would any of you care to hazard a guess as to exactly what the hell this example is trying to convey....

Um...I doth proclaim, 'What the f-' ...Yep, you get the idea
Member videos....
Posted:Nov 19, 2014 12:44 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2014 7:49 am

So, I was perusing the member videos on the home page earlier when I happened to chance upon one posted by a lovely lady entitled, 'Pissing on the kitchen floor.'
Sure enough and seemingly so as not to contravene the trade descriptions act, the lady in question was indeed urinating heartily upon, yes you've guessed it, the floor of her kitchen.
Now, far be it for me to criticise and I do understand that there is doubtless, an abundant audience for this sort of act but I was somewhat shocked to discern that her lino had quite obviously been cut with a Stanley blade as opposed to a lino cutter. This was clearly evident by the irregularity and unseamlessness typically experienced in utilising a dull blade for the job in hand.
Anyway, did you know that the first examples of a flushing toilet date back to approximately 31 BC?
Also, have you ever urinated upon yours or perhaps, someone else's kitchen floor?
Perhaps you have urinated in the living room or maybe even in a conservatory(?), please do share your thoughts and stories

To link to this blog (Mygentlecaress) use [blog Mygentlecaress] in your messages.

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