A stranger in a strange land.  

Magnus2241987 35M
2 posts
8/6/2021 1:54 pm
A stranger in a strange land.

I suppose the title of this post likely gave it away at the beginning, but I'm not exactly experienced in the realm of online dating/hookups. I figured since I'm not having much luck with messaging people, it couldn't hurt to record my thoughts on things thus far. First impressions have so far ranged from the expected to the utterly bewildering, with that being hardly helped by my general ignorance of how anything on this site works.

Honestly though, I suppose the most frustrating thing is just not really understanding how people themselves operate. I'm a bit introverted by nature, and so people have always been a tad confusing. For example, is it really that hard to send someone a message back saying you're not interested if you aren't? I would have thought most people had enough maturity to recognize the benefits of the direct approach. A solid "no thank you" grants the person a measure of closure. It tells them that the message got through, there were no technical problems or other errors, the person just wasn't interested.

I can only speak for myself but I've always found a direct refusal far more pleasant than being ghosted. The people here aren't sixteen anymore, or at least I hope to god none of them are, and giving no response whatsoever to a message or preposition is right out of the realm of high school. It's the act of those who aren't emotionally mature enough to simply look someone in the eye and give a politely worded 'no'. If anyone can tell me why this behavior is so prevalent in a places that otherwise seem to encourage being direct, I would dearly love an explanation.

Then again, perhaps I'm being too harsh, and there is a completely logical reason for it. I can certainly understand being worried about people's reaction to being turned down, and goodness knows there are people out there who could use a<b> lesson </font></b>in graciously accepting things aren't going the way they hoped. So perhaps the problem lies in both directions. In which case, I should point out that if someone tells you 'no thanks' the proper course of action is to thank them for their time and respectfully leave them be.

Anyway, apologies if that seemed a bit rambling and preachy. I just have had these thoughts in my head for a while now and they've been driving me nuts. Writing down my frustrations has always been a calming experience for me. Anyway, that's all I have for now. Not sure if I'll continue doing this or for how long, I suppose it depends on the response it gets, if any.

In the meantime, I wish you all well.

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