Sensual Dreamscape
My thoughts, dreams, stories and just general day to day .
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A Tough Day
Posted:Feb 1, 2021 11:29 pm
Last Updated:Feb 3, 2021 9:18 am
Today just seemed like a hard day. Not sure if it was the weather or just me feeling very unsettled. Ever get that feeling that something just isnt right, doesn't add up. I hate that because I am usually right, even if I am told I am not. Later on it will come out that I was.

I think I am just so afraid of being hurt again. I have been really hurt in the past by men. My husband himself, he cheated on me ago with one of my best friends. I have had a hard time trusting females since then too. So now you more about why he gave em permission to have one lover. Then we were separated headed towards divorce and I was involved with this fireman who had me and my girls move all the way to Oregon. Got there only to find out that he was not separated at all from his wife, and to boot took off with over $2000 of my . Which was all I had. Had some other men really just hurt me, and the last one was my lover for over 7 . He made promise not see anyone else. Well guess what? Found out that all along he was seeing someone else. It would have been fine if he had been honest with me. But lie and ignore for weeks at a time, then come around all lovey dovey. So now you know why it had been almost 7 before I was with a man again. But I am praying this does not turn out be where I get hurt again. I do not know if I could take that right now with everything going on in my life.

So anyway got up early this morning, was hoping spend a bit of time in a bit of conversation....... Got my husband dressed after I bathed him. Got our meds and some granola for breakfast. I needed take him some different places. Got his glasses fixed, prescriptions picked up. My doctor put me back on a steroid inhaler to help my lungs. Stopped by Sam's club and got some sushi for us for lunch.

Took a nap after lunch, I tire more easily with this heart issue going on. I guess now I allow myself to admit that it is taking alot out of me to do normal chores etc. They still have to be done, but I am allowing myself a little more rest. Did some work, then needed to take all my lasix that require me to stay in the bedroom since it is many many trips to relieve myself.

Oh did sit and talk with my neighbor, gave her the Christmas gifts that I had for my and grandkids. I know things are very hard for them, and she started crying. Telling how very nice I am and she has never met anyone so giving like me. I almost cried with her. She is such a nice lady, glad she is our neighbor. We live in a area that has been hit very hard by tough times, but things are looking up.

Made dinner, then came back to the bedroom again. Was hoping that maybe now would be a little time to just chat but he did not sadly. I just wanted to see how he was and talk to him some. I feel scared, find myself crying way too much. I cant believe my life is the way it is right now, and I just need to be able to turn things around. Remember when you could simply make yourself better or fake it really well. I am not nearly ready to sit in a chair with oxygen and wish I had done things.

I know everyone is busy with their won agendas and lives, but I feel like I am coming lose at the seams here. I feel like I am losing control and going to crash head first. I just need to be able to talk to someone who cares. To listen to how petrified I am right now. I feel like I am failing at everything and time is going by way too fast. I am tired of telling everyone that I am fine when I am not at all. That I just want to cry, make it all go away. I want my husband to be able to be the big strong man he used to be. I want to be able to count on him like I did for years. I want to be able to have some escapism, understanding and caring. None of the family really cares, so it is my husband and I. I know if I am not careful I will end up in the hospital again. That is not something I can do because last time I spent a week in ICU, 6 months ago. When I got out, you should have seen how bad the house was. I was up the next morning doing dished though I wasn't supposed too. Nothing had been done at all, wading thru trash and dirty clothes, rotting food etc.

Anyway I know this is long guys and I am sorry. I just have no one really to talk to or seems to have the time to even really ask. Pain use, scared - hell yes.
Oh but in my mind I am beautiful once more. I am being made love to and the man thinks my body is wonderful. He kisses me all over and whisper sweet love in my ear as he slowly enters me. In my mind I am able to do anything and not fight for enough air.

Ode Well Past
Posted:Feb 1, 2021 11:05 pm
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 5:33 pm
My body feels so very taxed,
Overwhelmed by the demands.
Dreaming of the pure white sands,
Stretching out for the hollow lands.

Cried enough tears fill the oceans,
Plenty more threatening escape again.
Aching feel some kind of caring shown,
Even if it were for a few true moments.

But just another memory of stained sheets,
A incomplete encapsulation of yesteryear.
Longing once again feel beautiful and desired,
Instead of a conveniently a easy escape.

Let dream of times that a lover ravaged my body,
Each time the desire built higher and higher of insane desire.
Oh feel that kind of true passion and being wanted,,
Talking and sharing, laughing and loving long ago.
Savor Each Orgasm
Posted:Jan 31, 2021 11:23 pm
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 5:33 pm
I think every woman enjoy the same thing about a man, his taking his time and not being in a rush. We want those lingering deep kisses. We want see the passion, feel the passion, be the passion.

Men please slow it down some. Please cup our face, kiss slowly, with passion. None of this pointy tongue kind of darty bit. Relax your tongue and lips. A nice deep kiss with lots of tongue. Just like you are for your woman. Think about when you used fantasize about making out. You would take your time. Soft little kisses on her neck, for me especially the nape of my nec

Treat us like you are so happy be near us, enjoy our bodies. Don't go and just touch our hot zones. Build that fire within us, we dont have off and on buttons. trail your fingers all along the body, between the breasts, all of the chest. Make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman there is. You can tell her too, that never hurts.

Let her lay back, tell her to relax, make love to her. All of us ladies like that for sure. Kiss all around our erogenous zone. Soft little kisses and licks, like working your way to the center. Men, now for the love of God, please learn to eat pussy really well. Do not act like you are afraid to do a full out lic Again none of this pointy darty shit please. Relax your tongue. Lick her pussy, just lick you would a very juicy peach that is dripping with juices. Gently suck on the clic Do not be afraid slowly add a finger or into both holes.

A man who really knows how to eat pussy well and loves it, is worth his weight in gold ten times over. You will have her saying yes to anything. I know I would.

Now when it comes to have intercourse, again men, slow it down. There isnt a race. If you are having trouble getting it in, think of different positions, because there are all kinds and there is bound to be one that will wor If you are missionary, rubbing her clit really helps too. Nice slow strokes to begin with, she will tell you when to speed up.

Have fun, talk about what is working and what doesnt. Keep the lines of communication open. Everyone has time to stop for a few minutes and say a couple of words.

The Sex Machine
Posted:Jan 31, 2021 11:02 pm
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 5:33 pm
So I am here to do another adult toy review for you guys. This time this is a pretty new one for me.

It is on the AUXFUN Sex Machine Love Machine. Now i have had a Hand held sex machine before that was impossible for one person to ever operate and was a big waste of . This beauty came in yesterday, I ordered it from Amazon. Talked it over with my husband and he was all for me getting this. Figures it is safer for me to be here home, hence he worries way too much.

Unboxed it very quickly yesterday but waited to play with it until today. To my surprise my husband was very eager to help with this whole thing. We actually had a very good time and I am not going to lie, it felt good to have him touching me after so long. He knows my body better then anyone else and knows just how to touch my clit, what to say when, etc.

I selected a med size toy. The kit came with 5 different penile torpedoes with it. Lined up the machine gun (Is what the machine looks like), and made sure the toy was in me. It has a nice dial on a controller that you or your partner can control. Thing is I am very tight and if you slide it most the way in, well it was kind of stuck there, seriously. So we switched to the smallest torpedo and that worked much better. It is good as a up and I think if you worked it, it would make you .

Both female and male could use this toy. You can set the arm to do about 4 different positions, all kinds of speeds. Easy to assemble and light weight. Has suction cups on the bottom of each foot, so it is versatile . They suggest that if you need lube, use condoms. I actually like to use condoms on my toys, just is cleaner.

So I would say this toy is a . Doesn't take the place of the human touch of course. Nothing will ever do that. But it is always ready when you are, and it help when you just cant sleep because you are so horned up.

I do love playing with toys, but I think I need a toy box now.

Intimacy and Aging
Posted:Jan 31, 2021 12:45 am
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2021 8:13 am
Sitting here tonight thinking about the stages of life itself, aging, bodies changing for us all.

Let's face it, most of us do not have near the bodies we used too. Not if you are in my age bracket. We are seeing things sag in ways we did not know were possible. Wrinkles, more gray hairs. It certainly does not make us feel terribly sexy to anyone. That within itself can and does play a large part in our confidence and self esteem. It takes a certain air of maturity to still carry yourself with some kind of pride.

Take me for instance, I have some health issues going on. That does not make me feel sexy in any manner. I am overweight, but always have been for the most part. So I certainly have to be with some one appreciates women in many forms. Luckily I am with a wonderful man who is very understanding and kind. I also have a anxiety issues. I hate driving on the interstate and will start to have a panic attack. That happened the other day and i had to have a talk with myself, and get it under control .

But this is the beautiful part if life, We can all still be intimate in some way as long as the desire is there. If you are a man perhaps on a given time you find you cant maintain a erection for whatever reason. Dont give up, try a cock ring , perhaps you need a little porn playing [hey it turns me on]. Maybe you need to switch up the scenario, or are just tired that day. A prostate massage can give you a wonderful strong orgasm and you do not need to be hard for that at all. So many things to try, and this is why they make toys, but you will have to wait for my nest post to read that.

Point is, do not give up. A nice massage still feels good to most people. Maybe you are just going to be cuddling, and that suffices. But when intimacy is stopped within a relationship is where the real downfall is. My spouse has always had trouble expressing his feelings for me. Not when we first got together but anymore. He just cant seem to open up, we were just talking about this. That makes this marriage rather lonely at time. But it is what it is, and I have my pet who is wonderfully open. So it completes that circle as it is.

Please forgive me if this post is kind of rambling. I have taken my muscle relaxers, so feeling a bit spacey.

Never stop expressing your feelings or desires

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Posted:Jan 28, 2021 7:58 pm
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 5:33 pm
It's been a very stressful day indeed. What I thought would turn out in being fine and my husband getting the start of some medical help was very different.

They wouldn't and couldn't see my husband because he has been ill. We understand that but how is one get help for the common cold now, especially if you are new the area and do not have a established primary doctor. So he was rescheduled.

I thought mine would be the normal concerns over the blood pressure, if I had another kidney infection, etc. Oh and the diabetes, always keep that in mind. Well my new doctor kind of hit with a teetering wave or bricks that I kind of knew was worsening, but did not really want face. Yes the ole Congestive Heart Failure folks along with the Chronic Kidney Disease Stage 3. Okay I knew back in June when I almost died that there with issues. And I have been following the diabetic eating plan so closely. My numbers are great, but the edema, has gotten worse. My energy is very low, and I exhaust easily when walking etc. I thought I just needed get the water off and all would be well.

So alot more test, Cardiologist, Nephrologist, Endocrinologist, and probably some others. I wanted get out more, lol. Good thing my lover understands and is there for as well as my husband. I am very lucky have both.

I had my cry, I had my tacos, and now I am ready carry on and fight the good fight and overcome!

Giving The What On What's Up
Posted:Jan 27, 2021 10:45 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2021 8:38 am
I debated tonight, on if I would do a blog or not. But I didn't write last night, and I do love expressing myself.

Relationships on here can turn into many things. Friends, friends with benefit, love affairs, or perhaps you are more into the kink world. What ever it is, as long as all consenting adults are happy, and in agreement.

As you recall, I have made mention of my pet, my lover. It is a blooming relationship, with beautiful fragrant flowers. So at this time I am not going to see anyone else, unless we mutually decide to with another person/s,

I and we are still always happy make more friends, and hopefully the groups in this state will start moving once again. Attending lifestyle parties and events are so much fun and that is where you can make local friends.

Life is beautiful and slippery when wet LOL

1 comment
Riding the Tides
Posted:Jan 26, 2021 2:26 am
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2021 10:37 pm
Whew, omg omg omg, pant pant pant.

Every once in awhile you can get on a pretty good roll of climax while masturbating. Tonight was one of those night for . See I haven't even been to bed yet.

I have a variety of toys, I enjoy toys. I have a new favorite which is a double vibrating thingy ma bob. It vibrates inside and also on my clit. So I slid part of it in, the other part is on my clit. I sit on it and it has a remote control. So I kind of ride it. Fantastic if you are thinking of a certain someone and the things you both would like to do to each other and with each other.

I have a great imagination so if I turn on a parn with the sounds they turn me on further. Pretty soon you are rocking and moaning and climaxing up a storm.

Still not like being with a man, but you take what you have at hand and go with it. Soon enough I hope to experience the real deal.

Okay, keep it quiet back there,

Dontcha know people are trying to sleep.

1 comment
Crown of Gold
Posted:Jan 26, 2021 12:18 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 5:33 pm
What a beautiful gift!

And it really is, my pet is how I refer to my male sub. He gave me the gift of a year of being a Gold Member. Without it, one feels rather left out seeing and enjoying all that one wants too. So if you have sent me a message and I did not answer, that is why.

I am a switch, but usually I seem to be the more aggressive one sometimes in the bedroom. Once I get going, I tend to take charge if need be. Now that was not the case when meeting my pet. We have only engaged one time thus far but plan to again very soon.

So I am his Dom, and I will be claiming him as mine complete with a collar. Very very excited about this juncture. I have dabbled a bit before, just in as you will role playing. But I can be quiet vocal when having sex as in giving directions or asking for certain things to be done.

Many private talks, we just click. He will need to be properly trained like all good pets. When I feel he is ready, I will be sharing him with hand picked people, as well as hoping to have many more threesomes or more somes.

So hurry up with the vaccine for COVID for all.

Keep practing safe sex folks.

My First MFM with 2 Bi-Men ~ Yum!
Posted:Jan 26, 2021 12:07 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2021 9:28 am
So bare with me on this story of my very first threesome which was a MFM with two good friends of mine.

This was probably about 15 years ago but I remember it well. There are just some things that never fade in ones memory and this is one of them. I had been with each of these men before individually. Over a matter of years, we became pretty good friends. They did not know each other, but I found out each of them was bi-sexual.

So I wanted to have my first threesome, which of course most women want to be MFM. We set up a play date, and one of the men secured the motel room. I met Mr. L early because he wanted some time with me alone, we made out, started getting freakier. He had just really started to eat my pussy when finally Mr. J showed up. I let him in and I could tell he was nervous and I think he wasn't too sure about having to share me either. So I motioned him over and we started to kiss. Now both of these men were excellent kisser, as well as excellent at eating my pussy. Mr. J before had even gotten me to squirt by eating my pussy.

So J and I are laying on the bed kissing, and he goes down on me. Then he climbs back up and we go at it missionary. He came real fast which is normal. I like to get the first fuck out of the way, that way we can take our time and really play for the second one. He climbs off and L is right there lapping up all that cum cascading and oozing out of my pussy. I loved that, it was so hot. Then he flips me over and we go at it doggy. They keep trading places with me, making me cum and them L cleaning it up.

Finally I suggest to J that he let L suck his cock. Well L really got into it, that was his fantasy, to be with a guy. He did a great job sucking cock and I was cheering him on. Now I am sitting in a chair with my legs spread, one over the arm masturbating while I tell him what to do. After a bit I ask J if he would fuck L. So doggie style J lubes up and slowly takes his ass. Now I knew his ass was very ready for it. I had even fisted him at his begging many times before and this boy was very kinky. So I tell J tell fuck him like he really wants too. Wasn't too long after that that they both came.

So we sat around for a bit then J left. L was eager for us to play alone again. For me to play with his ass, and him to eat my pussy. We fucked, sucked, depleted ourselves but good that day. I think we were there for over 6 hours. But what a afternoon. One I hope to repeat sometime down the road after my pet (my sub male) has been trained by me in many ways. After that I will be using him well and with others too.

Life is too short to not orgasm often.

1 comment
Poem ~ Loner's Delight
Posted:Jan 24, 2021 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2021 10:46 pm
Im sitting here listening my husband snore, feeling about as lonely as a person can. Not a sole in the world talk . Longing have a pair of strong arms around holding , letting know everything will be okay. So I though I would write a bit of Poetry. Bare with because I am so very rusty.

Loner's Delight

Just as the banks of clouds swallow the hills,
Loneliness my friend ebbs closer my soul.
Musty fair weather friends and lovers come and go,
Taking minuet pieces of my tattered soul with them.

Jest you be yet another one chisel away at my plantings,
Feeling my weather bowed limbs sweeping the ground clean.
Wanting invite you into my most inner core of insanity,
Please come into my lair, and lay down at my feet.

Feel my slight gust of tiredness of this game,
Disinterested in every bit of this boorish lame game of chance.
Lonely fellow souls and I am about to all gather at the marsh,
Murky waters are somehow so melancholic and enticing calling me................
The Safety Net
Posted:Jan 23, 2021 3:32 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2021 5:28 pm
There is alot to be said about wanting to not use condoms while having sex. Lets be honest here, none of us like them. But is it really worth taking that chance.

My Late Uncle died of AIDS, and it was due to having unprotected sex with his girlfriend. They had been together for years, but he did not realize that she was trading sex for drugs. If you ever watch someone die of this horrible disease, you will welcome the use of condoms. It ravaged his body, made him a literal skeleton, with sores. He was no longer my Uncle, my childhood friend because there was only 2 years difference between he and I. We used to fight too, I remember that I would get so mad that he insisted that i call him Uncle.

Condoms might not feel the greatest but neither do ports, ivs, feeding tubes. Doesn't feel good to go through chemo, so many drugs, being turned to prevent bedsores. Doesn't feel good to have to wear adult diapers , and lose all ability to even sit up.

Experiment with different condoms. Make sure whoever you are going to be with is tested and clean. If you cant trust them to tell you the truth about their sexual activities and safety, why would you want to engage with them sexually anyway. For every person they have been with and if they are married whoever their spouse, partner etc has been with means you are going the orgy. Play safely folks and keep your numbers very low. When in doubt, glove up. Listen I am far from judgmental, I am just being outspoken and smart about this. I expect the same from who I am with. My rule is if there is a "US", we play without the need of condoms, but anyone else, must be gloved.

Live long and prosper my friends,
Yes I went there lol

The Building Hunger
Posted:Jan 23, 2021 3:15 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 5:33 pm
Another sleepless night for me, not that conventional time frames seem to mean much to my current world. I suppose I should count myself lucky and I do. I do not want too many confines and being my husbands caretaker is quite time consuming at times for sure.

But the real reason I am finding it so hard to sleep is I have a huge crush on a certain wonderful man. His mere words just turn my knees to butter. Yes we have met one time, was a wonderful afternoon of talking, and of course sexual playing. We just seem to click on so many levels. The more I talk to him, the more I find myself daydreaming, night dreaming, just dreaming of when the next time might be.

I find myself wanting to run into his arms, awaiting for him to kiss me deeply and touch me tenderly. I fantasize about us making love, then going into a very primal high energy sexual debauchery. Since we are so in sync there are many many adventures to be had.

I crave Listening to John Prine right now certainly makes me thing and crave him. This hunger is great, needs to be fed for sure. Yes I could have picked someone closer, alot closer. But I am into quality not quantity. I want a secret relationship even if we can not see each other that often.

Life is short, and precious. We have to enjoy those very rare times especially on this site were you find a diamond in the rough. I got lucky, and I know that.

Embrace life, every moment every day, and be safe.


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