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Sexual Addiction#2: Our Dark Passenger  

leefury7 73M
47 posts
12/17/2021 5:43 am

Last Read:
12/17/2021 5:50 am

Sexual Addiction#2: Our Dark Passenger

Addiction #2: Dark Passenger

A few years back, for some reason I had SHOWTIME on my cable network choices. There I got interested in the DEXTER series. I liked the idea of being in Florida because it cold as a witches tit here. However, in watching that series, Dexter makes mention of his *dark passenger.*. I identified immediately with the term. No. I am not a vigilante. However, there is this other me that I hide away from public view. I think if we are honest with ourselves, we all have a dark passenger.

There are actually two ways to think of a dark passenger. The word passenger can be understood as someone or something other than ourselves; an entity if you will. Walt Disney once portrayed Goofy as have a good angel and a bad angel perched on his shoulder, one enticing to good while the other enticed to evil. It could be debated as to the reality that suggests. However, IMHO there is enough good/evil within us that outside enticement is not required.

We all have a dark passenger because we are all self-oriented. Even our most selfless act are not wholly without self intent. For instance, you drop a couple of bucks into the Salvation Army pot at your local store. Why did you do that (if you did it at all)? You did it because it made you feel good to do something nice for others. Or, you did it because you wanted other people to see you do it and think, Hey, now there is a special person. Either way, it is self-oriented. It is done for your selfish interests.

As to the dark passenger in relation to sex? Largely it is about self gratification no matter how other oriented you are. As I like to say, a gentleman is merely a patient wolf. All the outward exhibitions are viewed as being kind, tender, giving and selfless when in fact, inside you merely leaving bread crumbs to entice toward the trap!

Yes, all this to say that I too am wholly and helplessly self-oriented. Simply put, we all are because it is the human condition. Some hide it better than others. Societal norms require it. Some hide it so well they do not even recognize, let alone admit its existence to themselves. True, most our dark passenger is relatively benign. In the movie Minority Report, Cruise steals in to see the old woman who invented the Pre-Crime system. There in her green house she grabs a plant and begins to squeeze it and it reacts by cutting her hand. She then points out that when the chips are down, that is when the dark passenger shows its true face. It lies dormant for the greater part of our lives for the greater part of the population. In just the last two years, however, we have witnessed here in America that when societal restraint is removed, that dark passenger quickly riots.

Personally I do not think I am capable of truly torturing another individual. I am talking about radical extremist torturing of the darkest, inhuman kind. That said, obviously there are people who are quite capable of abandoning of all restraint.

Sexually, my dark passenger, if the restraints are removed and in point of fact, given free reign and even encouraged to explore and granted the freedom to have my way with a woman, I do find some attraction to bondage. One of my secretive fantasies is to pick up a hitchhiker in some remote area, abduct her and take her to where I can tie her up and then freely enjoy her body…. without the restraint of guilt or not having her permission. It is a fantasy. I have seen<b> videos </font></b>and many I find aberrant and outrageous both in the abductor as well as the abductee. Brutality is not in my fantasy where heavy bruising and bleeding is the result. Personally I think there is something psychologically wrong with both the dominant as well as the one who freely submits to that. Where is the gratification in being beaten and bloodied?

We must each admit to the fact that we have within us our own dark passenger. Sexual awakening in *innocent* exploratory teenagers or as repressed adults is not uncommon. There are women here in their fifties who awaken their passenger after divorce or becoming an empty nester or perhaps in their late thirties early forties when they find they need something validating in their lives. For most it is short lived season of sexual adventure. As I have heard it said (and think it is largely true) women give sex to be loved while men give love to get sex. Either way, the animal, that dark passenger seeks to be fed. It is an itch that finds itself in need of being scratched. It is a desperation of overcoming the isolation or the need of being verified and having individual worth in someone else’s eyes. No matter how it is played out, it is alway about self.

How does one live with this reality? I am not the universes answer man. I simple recognize and here expressing the reality of it all. Each of us give life to this dark passenger in our own way, either to the greater or lesser exhibition. I think the healthiest relationships are those who come along side the other and confess our having this dark passenger and allowing discussion and perhaps outward expression of it. Is this not what intimacy requires? Is it not, when occurring, a lifting of a carried weight? This dark passenger all too often isolates and hides us away from others. To find that one individual in life where you can *be yourself* is what many of us seek and yet so rarely find. Is that why sites like this find viewership?

My wandering thoughts


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