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The Morning After, part 3 of 3.  

tomboytgirl68 55T
23 posts
7/15/2021 5:04 pm
The Morning After, part 3 of 3.


... and Paula's "Good morning guys ...", said so much more than that. I remember being acutely embarrassed and ... feeling acutely<b> ashamed </font></b>of myself for feeling embarrassed. Paula's "greeting" came from behind me but rather than just turn around, I held on Jackie and sorta buried my head in her shoulder ... like Paula would go away? or wasn't even ? ... how long had Paula been ? how much did she see? And then again, hey, I was wearing a blouse, flip-flops, minimal makeup, but "makeup" and my new ankle bracelet ... I wasn't dressed; I was "decorated"

And from the beginning ... oh yes, I had my chance ... I had lucked out as Jackie was first get up and show up for breakfast ... I should have welcomed Jackie and then a quick stretch up on my tiptoes and a meaningful kiss for Jackie and a whispered thanks for my bracelet and then a dash back to simply a quick shower and robe and back again to suggest breakfast, etc. and then, from a neutral position, have a talk with Paula ... you know, a gracious host, adult, thing to do. Now what? Is Paula smiling, smirking, frowning? ... and as Jackie pulled my arms down from around her neck, and I began to turn around to "drama" ... buttoning up my top again and ... is my lip balm smeared!!, and Paula ...

Meantime, while most of the above took a second or two, or four ... I felt Jackie's head lift from mine and she "helped" me unclasp my hands from around her neck and sort of pushed me around face Paula ... thus, perhaps, all the old HS crowd as my probably proposed deliciously controversial and intimately personal chosen lifestyle or ... admittedly so very "juicy" gossip at my expense!

( ... yes, I'm a bit of a "Drama Queen " here as yes, it is not a chosen lifestyle and therefore, yes the "choice" I had was "chose" be myself and be happy ... I know, and their "choice" is either accept me or not ... I KNOW ... but regardless of all that ... and although unfair, upon turning around and acknowledging Paula's presence and firsthand observation, I will be opening my bedroom door everyone I grew up with. And realizing this, and still knowing I would personally change nothing, upon turning around face Paula was like finally turning the page on any more pretense as just and what I am for everyone now KNOW for sure "about me." ... and this day had come ... I knew ... I KNOW ... but I am just relating "first reactions" ... as sometimes so hypocritical as they seem before really thinking about it all).

As Jackie seemed guide me around, she held onto my hand closest to her and took my arm with hers as she wrapped her arm around my back and drew me close to her, then to face my "outing" and perhaps also ... to "stake her claim" and/or comfort (?). And then, for perhaps a couple of seconds, or couple of hours, everyone just stood ... and for me, anyway, no words came mind that seemed adequate.

And then was Paula ... no words but just came across the kitchen us and we just hugged each other. After that, everyone seemed be talking someone ... and we separated different parts of my kitchen ... but no one choosing sit down at the kitchen table either. As for me, I wound up perched on the kitchen counter with my legs drawn up also and hugging my knees.

Paula seemed be, no was ... so poised, so sophisticated about all. She approached and then right in front, leaned over and patted one of my feet and turning Jackie, said something like, "You know Jackie, what gave you away was Kaycee's toenail polish." And then turning back to me,"... and you need another coat of polish, don't you girl," and then with a smile, leaned over and gave me a soft, ever so soft, kiss on my cheek. And then she went over to the kitchen table and sat down and sorta looking at us, gathering us in with a slight simile ... "Too bad we don't have a fourth and we could a rubber of bridge."

And, that was the beginning and the end of the intended "conversation" or private talk, disclosure, admission, confession, I was going have with Paula as some very personal decisions I had made since HS plus my current status with Jackie, etc. I do remember that Jackie and I joined Paula at the table and then of us talked about whatever and Jackie got up and went take a shower and after she disappeared Paula did fill a void in our conversation with a probing question ... that seemed be waiting for an opening ... and that was ... if Jackie and I were "exclusive" and I told her, "Yes, I think so ... at least concerning girls". And as Paula was digesting that tasty morsel ... what struck was not her seemingly slow comprehension of my "news" about Jackie but also apparent thoughts concerning Men or my inferring myself being "bisexual" ... no, I was too involved with myself ... surprised by my own response, that it was just effortless, no instance of "mental debate" or &quotqualification".

And that was pretty much the extent of my "big talk" with Paula ... and perhaps "announcement" to any of the old Chicago/HS crowd that wanted to have fun with it. We each got dressed, had something eat and talked, saying nothing. and went uptown to ... well to get out of the house I guess. I have to believe that I was not the one have the previous drama on my mind but we were each just perhaps processing as we wished. Oh, yeah, one allusion from one person was still thinking about ... Paula had get something in a drugstore and as we were passing the cosmetic section, she paused and said she had a couple of ideas or suggestions for me. I nodded at a couple shades she plucked from a lipstick keosk that was handy and I finally told her that I usually ordered online from "elf" and I really liked the website and their products. And that was all. "All" except, what was Paula's motive ... her reason for all that?

Anyway, Jackie was driving and since we all liked old movies and TCM and Film Noir, etc., she swung by the County Courthouse and Landmark Inn Hotel, the former being of singular "Anatomy of a Murder" fame and the latter, just a bit of "Hollywood", etc. in general. And that became the highlight of our day ... and of course, after dinner that evening, I mentioned that I had a copy of the movie, so it was a suggestion for another popcorn and movie night later before bed. And that was something we perhaps needed after the day ... just time for tentatively individual contemplation ... together.

And, as I said, that was essentially my "coming out" potential to my old HS friends, or rather now just memories and acquaintances as besides Paula, I had not seen any other members of the CL Squad or HS in general. Oops! that is not quite correct as another girl from our Varsity Squad was with Paula during visit last year on their way back from their trip East ... but can't even remember her ... thus ... well, so what. Paula had been so secretive about my first BF my Sophomore year in HS that I finally just told her that others knew about also back then so did not matter any more "keep a secret". So, not was no one really care about my personal choices back and Paula was not a "gossip" anyway.

And most of all, I decided way back in HS that I was not going live my life for others approval ... some would approve and others would not, will not, always. And concerning each of us, up a point, as most know, some of this sex stuff is not a choice we even make ... is part of each of us and the choice we have is be ourselves and be happy or be what others want and ... as far as I am concerned, the choice is for others either accept we each are ... or not.

The next morning Paula advised at breakfast that she would her "sitter" and confirm that she can extend her visit here up here with us a couple of weeks. Jackie has leave tomorrow morning so this evening, we decided to have a wiener roast down at the beach. Should be fun. And was! and Happy 5th and even better 6th of July! ... with more "fireworks" than the 4th ... for sure!
... xox Kaycee.

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