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my life is so embarrassing
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my life is so embarrassing its nearly valentines im ugly in real life ~ that is why I dont experience romance & receive special attention like I think I should have shame the well looking forward to the not worthy season ~ shame so embaressing being me ~ shame full I supposed the red faced of embaressment im spared ~ I can just look like a plum i think I was pretty lovely once ~ made a mistake & yes ~ this things I could do to myself right now ~ the list is long ~ i have all the tools & rope i want too but I know the Jedi's would never forgive me I have to live through that day ~ emotional torture its shame ful to be me it is ~ its just its the opposite of expecting a lustfull surprise ~ its the shame of not being the one eligible for such ambience of Joy ~ its like yeah that season come along ~ I have to admit it ~ I think im upset as I wish I was not weird ~ I was called weird & I cant find the tools inside to rectify my ways ~ its like I tried ~ im so fragile like an Echidnea ~ yet resilient like one at the same time { hide away undisturbed in my sanctuary } away from the burning world ~ I desired to be the good submissive woman to One Lord Master ~ not the whole nation ~ & I was not good ~ I tried to make friend ~ the ladies in my life { HAD SOME SERIOUS TINGS HAPPENING & IM LIKE SO UNQUALIFIED - IN CERTAIN DEPARTMENTS OF FUCK DAT SHIT FUCKTARDERY LIKE } Holy Master where is your arse hole may I put my head back there please ~ i thought that was kissing & the water on my head was Rain and in my world as a fairy ~ "Its Rain im a submissive lady ~ well the what do I know ~ " take the piss I will think its rain if I trust you ~ but doesnt take away the fact some ladies of the earth are the tossed away ladies the fuck her use her sshhhh no we cant be seen talking in public woman lady your no ones type toosed away type of being ~ it happens there must be a whole bunch of sorted woman who are managing themselves well & yet not good enough to be a mans Bitch ~ shame I stay away from real life ~ purely because im ashamed of the feeling I have ~ I yearn for his Domestic Silence ~ {poetry} I would give him my body & want to be that woman I would desire for him to purge every infraction from my body & pledge apologies~ I think I like it ~ you know when you either become a Nun or cry to *eath until Cobain{ism} happens ~ but im patriotic ~ & the Nun craft has to blend in my trend ~ of emotional make up ~ Saint Catherine Nites ~ devoted to their King until we die ~ blessing his fornications with other ladies whilst we suffer until our bodies depart from using its Air ~ Saint Catherine Nitettes ~ im so not good enough~ im defensless now ~ ~ I wish for to be Bea*en byhim in the most erotically submissive way ever where I go beyond any thought I could ever imagine I would want to go there with him & heal silently that turns me on ~im no good ~ to any man ~ im a sacred maiden alone unOwned ~ I bad vehicle for sex ~ {ugly now} it happens face the fate ~ id love to be that woman ~ her ~tied to the bed & awaiting the fate i desire now to learn to take it ~ I desire to breath & not make a sound obey cry submissive tears of servitude & receive his Phallic Blessing i mean seriously I get the feeling if i WAS toothless & grandma aged 37 had a disgruntled time during my 20's & 30's why do i get the feeling I would have a jackass watless man here like that woman down the road with a husband &; oatmeal looking teeth ~ thats weird bloody hell~ the irony of fate ~ shame well there was a time before I reached 41 I wanted an older man ~ but older man now "listen" "see my name " Cherharazard " you may need to be Rambo or Rambo or Rambo or LIKE Rambo or a tiny bit Like Sargeant Blackman {yep } him} because im not looking for Super Viagra King im looking for buss my body Rambo aka {Sergeant Blackman} ~ please tell me you too are not scared a woman with real negroid hair I know dont believe the hype my hair is not made of steal ~ its fluffy & you can pull it it wont come off ~ yank it crank it spank it ~ I wont make a sound im that submissive I sound vulnerable I am & that not illegal its vulnerable nerd vulnerable if your not rambo watch that film "Chocolate" ~the Asian film} I dont know ~ all I know is I sit up at this hour asking myself why is there no Great Man of Britain in my bed fucking my Brains out sexually mu*dering me with illict sex ~ so im humble for the rest of the year ~ like really I remember a time when the world was lovely I think that may have been a daydream having the right man in my Bed is a good fantasy ~ but I have never had no man in my life during my adult years of being a Grown ass woman imagine men you wont learn until some dude treats your own sister the same way & even then truesay im a real haired lady with no weave it may be another 5000 years before one man is brave enough to get to know ~ irony it may have to me a Sergeant Blackman type of Rambo ~ because I have been on Heated Affairs since 2008 this is my second profile &^ you everyday people are scared of woman like me with real hair irony there hasnt been a Rambo in the City has there ~ you know your not finding no cool nerd bitch like me in the jungle ~ listen ~ central heating ~ make a camp in my bed ~ buss me up there ~ come out the jungle pls the woman in Britain need some Great Sex otherwise ~ me personally im getting vex may dash out a Hex ~ I need the men man of the land Lord of Britain pls ~ Great Britain tell me there is a Man who can fuck with me ~ like the irony whats the point of breathing really im Suicida* over sex no sex like im really not good enough for the type of men I desire whats the point of living |
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how I sit on my bed at night every night ~ shame milk tray man has retired & im like ok
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