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Blogs > pal334 > A TIME TO SHARE

~~~ "R" word  

pal334 69M  
51269 posts
2/19/2017 4:59 am

Last Read:
3/4/2017 4:25 am
~~~ "R" word
. As a man that has been around a lot, I will say here, there is absolutely no reason, excuse or blame shifting that can ever "justify" nonconsensual sexual activity. No woman is ever "asking for it". All men have the obligation to understand that no means no. Any man involved in such activity , aside from the obvious(hopefully severe) legal remedies should be ostracized. He would, in my eyes, lose his "man card" and simply become a male. While it may be awkward, we need to do better at supporting the victim on their long trail back from the horror of the "R" word. What are your thoughts?






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pal334 69M  
45821 posts
2/19/2017 5:05 am
I am not a Politically Correct guy and frankly would not be upset with this solution in some cases. [image]
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camperdude_69 63M
4641 posts
2/19/2017 5:17 am

 nice


goodatpoetry2 74M
16552 posts
2/19/2017 5:19 am

 It takes a certain type of male to do that.
Often, he actually hates women.
Luckily, the law is becoming more knowledgeable about the subject, but they still have a long way to go.


SimpleLatina 59F
3447 posts
2/19/2017 6:16 am

 I agree with your post. They many times ruin a woman's life when it happens


sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
2/19/2017 10:07 am

 Most women never report it and the guy gets away with over and over again. It should never happen but it does. It is tough on someone life and they have to live with for the rest of their lives what happened.. Great post here Pal.. hugsssss V
Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
2/19/2017 10:08 am
    Quoting goodatpoetry2:
    It takes a certain type of male to do that.
    Often, he actually hates women.
    Luckily, the law is becoming more knowledgeable about the subject, but they still have a long way to go.
a great point good hugss V
Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
2/19/2017 11:18 am

 Good post, Pal.
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
2/19/2017 11:21 am

 No means no; it's simple but some men find it hard - pun intended!


BrownEyedBBW 55F  
8831 posts
2/19/2017 12:43 pm

 I'm with you 99.9999%

I think it's easy to go for the low hanging fruit and say, " All men have the obligation to understand that no means no". Few people here are going to publicly argue with that.

Ask yourself this, though, how many men who read this Nand agree with you, have ever gotten a woman an extra drink or j o i n t hoping it will make it easier to get a woman to give her consent for sex? Anything that is such a big problem in society is always going to be complex.

If you look at most men who do this, they look like you or your neighbor's kid or the guy sitting next to you on the commuter train. They aren't monsters and few of them would probably agree with this post. Most "Rs" are committed by people who the woman feels she knows and trusts: BFs, co-workers, friends of the family, exes.

Consent can be a hell of a lot more complicated than whether a person says no or not. A lot of women (and men, for that matter) never say "no". A common reaction is to freeze up and say and do nothing, or some will say yes if they feel that things are inevitable or they feel threatened. I've read more than one blog post where a woman ended up having sex with a man because he pressured her after he paid for travel, a hotel room, drinks, etc.

Is silence consent? Is saying yes because you feel you have to consent? Is it possible for a man to think a woman has given consent when he is, in fact, R'ing her? If a man says "no" but a woman strokes him until he is hard, is that sexual assault or is that getting lucky?

There are women who are still being taught, "don't say yes the first time or he'll think you are a slut". There are men who are still being taught that the first couple of "no"s means maybe. That's a problem, a big one. That shit was around when I was an undergrad and now that I teach them, I find that it's still around.

And let's not even begin talking about the strong and direct correlations between alcohol and all sorts of sexual abuse.

If what you are looking for is a pat on the back for being enlightened, you'll have to get that from someone else. The best way to support victims is to wrestle with the hard questions of how we re-write societal scripts that allow it to happen in the first place.

It's easy to think about supporting the victim, we know it's not her fault and we can pin it on the bogeyman Rist. It's much more uncomfortable to talk about how we change things like gender expectations and social norms around dating. That makes it a societal problem. That means that as a member of society, we all have some culpability in a person's R and that's a far less comfortable thought.


scott6250 61M

2/19/2017 6:26 pm

 I agree with your post, and find people who do such a thing despicable.
When I was 12 yrs old I was gangr*p*d by a bunch of older boys and it took me several years to get over it. My first wife also suffered through it when she was young. It is a terrible thing for anyone to suffer.
"Sweet, steamy, sensuous kisses light the bright fires of passionate lust within us." scott6250


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