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The End of a Friendship
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The End of a Friendship This post is only viewable by Heated Affairs members. Join Heated Affairs now! |
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Your story hits very close to home. My youngest sister struggled for many with an addiction to oxycontin, alcohol, practically anything and everything she could get her hands on to self-medicate in an attempt to deal with her life. She lost her children over her addiction. I thought I could help so I moved her a state away to my home thinking it would get her away from her suppliers. Problem is, an addict can find a new supplier. It's just a matter of geography. For me, the straw that broke the camels back was when she didn't come home as planned from work late one night. She stumbled in completely intoxicated and high at 1:00am. I had two kids living with me and I could not tolerate this in my home. I immediately collected her and drove her to a local detox center. After 3 days, they released her and she showed back up on my doorstep. I had to call the police because she wouldn't leave. I felt enormous guilt over my decision to do this. Being a veteran, she was able to get into a longer term in-patient facility. Unfortunately, her addiction to oxycontin prevailed. She had died in her sleep. Her heart stopped and that was it. Her death was the main reason I decided to become a therapist. I figured if I could help one person, her death would not be in vain. Thanks for sharing your story as painful as it is, I can relate and understand the guilt you feel.
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I have been there Soaks except the person in my story I called Dad ....... there was just no help and rehab just didn't work he has seen my son maybe a hand full of times in seven years. Sometimes there is nothing more to do than walk. Sorry for the loss but sometimes You are more important than the situation.
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When he attack me and his sister, my wife at the time, I told him to never come back. He dye three four years later because of his additions. I still felt the lost then too. You did right. Drunks never stop. I have a family of them. Sorry.  You're better off.
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You did the right thing. Sadly the truism of hitting bottom before you head up is dead on. Some peoples bottoms have trapdoors leading to lower levels. When he's clean and sober welcome him back in, if you want.
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You did the right thing. I have family with addictions and it is hard to just say "Sorry but you are not sucking me down with you!" You gave an ultimatum and you stuck with it. All you can hope for now is this is his "rock bottom" and that he wakes up and smells the roses and realizes that losing a good friend over this is not worth it. But sometimes addictions win. I'm sorry for your loss. Kitkat The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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Good decision,but it does suck. Sadly I think the most constructive and helpful thing you could do. Congruency and consistency is important. I've had a number of friends who successfully got their drinking under control when I knew them, and I'd probably have walked away had they not. Seeing the way they got when they were fucked up has made drinking a whole lot less fun and engaging for me. All are welcome to an audience with The Magnificent One oldirtybacchus
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If it's any concilation, when we remove the things in our life that don't belong there, we're actually make room for the things that should be there You are such a strong chick!
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The final straw was my son being born and me not wanting him around the situation........ I just think he deserves better than that.
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It wasn't alcohol, but I was with someone who had an addiction to painkillers and who wouldn't eat no matter what you said. Eventually it started affecting me and I had to let her go. It was like losing an arm. Aut viam inveniam aut faciam Tips for Guys to Meet Women  Things i miss most about relationships
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I've done it more than once. I have enough drama crap with my own family - I can't deal with addicts on top of that. I was married to an alcoholic (marriage was annulled so I don't count it). I recently dated another one - and it was similar to what you describe. I gave him the choice of alcohol or me. He would claim he was sober, and then send gibberish incoherent text messages all through the night, every night, showing that he was obviously drunk. I felt guilty because his daughter and my daughter were friends, and I felt some need to try to help her - but then I would realize that she had a mom, grandparents, aunts and uncles - it was not my job to fix her father.
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I literally told my childhood sweetheart she could choose staying with me or driving out to get a gallon of vodka (she was already drunk and I refused to drive to get her a refill). She chose the alcohol. I knew she might get in a wreck driving drunk but I let her drive away and I got into my own car and left for good. I did pick up the phone when she called after that, but she was dead within about 18 months. I sometimes say I feel guilty, but I don't think it's true.
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You did the only thing you could do, im_soaking_wet. In effect you told him that his life was worth more (to you) than your friendship - and IT IS ... Just up to him to also realise it - There is the chance that he may never come to this self-realisation though - but that is ALL on him. Walking away like this is not an easy thing for anyone to do, but very necessary. ***********If you have a yen to get" Up-a-Tree," Then it's just a hop-and-a-skip to get down with Meeee !
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Sorry to hear that, but things like this happens. Kisses
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