Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

Useless  

80sbaby71 52F
7366 posts
10/29/2011 3:24 pm
Useless

You know...for those who don't KNOW me...I have spent my whole life being told I was useless. I was trash. I didn't deserve to even be alive. MY WHOLE LIFE. Then in 2008 changes came...I was separating from my husband, living on my own for the first time in my life....scared to death.

But...I made new friends. And found love through them...was told that I wasn't USELESS, TRASH, and I was loved.

I am a work in progress. I don't text people (other than family) without "reason". I don't text guys...I can't...I don't have it in me... Why? Because I am scared still. A scared little girl. I sit home....alone when mini me is gone. I am trying my hardest to survive. I don't tell people my life....I struggle...daily with self confidence and self esteem....and yet when things go in the right directions...I get questioned, reprimanded and whether it is meant or not....I once more feel like crap. I feel like I am once more USELESS TRASH.

This is the song my mini me says fits me....She tells me that I am perfect. Perfect to her. So go watch the video if you haven't seen it...

So once more...I am sorry....I try...and I fail. All I want to know is at what point in my life will people stop and take me for me. At what point am I not having to question myself, my actions, my life?

F**KIN PERFECT
by PINK

Made a wrong turn
once or twice.
Dug my way out,
blood and fire.
Bad decisions,
that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood!
Miss "No way,It's all good", it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated!
Look, I'm still around...

Pretty pretty please!
Don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel like you're nothing you are perfect to me.

You're so mean (Your so mean)
When you talk (When you talk) about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices (Change the voices) in your head(In the head)
Make them like you instead
So complicated, look how happy you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred... such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.

Oh, pretty pretty please
Don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel like you're nothing you are perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try,
But we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty please!
Pretty pretty please,
Don't you ever ever feel
Don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel like you're nothing you are perfect to me Yeaaahhh...!
You are perfect, you're perfect!
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me.




rm_Squidley1958 65M
326 posts
10/29/2011 7:30 pm

Your little girl is right...


5OutBack55 63M

10/29/2011 7:34 pm

Good Enough..... right on....everyone makes mistakes...it takes a good person to admit to it.....Keep the chin up push forward... there are a lot of good and great people in the world....
I was once told there are only a dozen bad people in the world, they just move around a lot.LOL


80sbaby71 52F
5516 posts
10/29/2011 9:42 pm

    Quoting  :

I'd settle for just being accepted the way I am...as me.


80sbaby71 52F
5516 posts
10/29/2011 9:42 pm

Thanks Squidley! Love my mini me!


80sbaby71 52F
5516 posts
10/29/2011 9:43 pm

    Quoting 5OutBack55:
    Good Enough..... right on....everyone makes mistakes...it takes a good person to admit to it.....Keep the chin up push forward... there are a lot of good and great people in the world....
    I was once told there are only a dozen bad people in the world, they just move around a lot.LOL
Thanks...they just seem to focus in on me!!!


Become a member to create a blog