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Jam or Cream and Who Comes First?
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Jam or Cream and Who Comes First? There is a traditional argument in Devon and Cornwall (where I have just been for a week) as to whether you should spread the jam or the cream on a scone first. Some people get quite worked up about it. It made me think about simultaneous orgasms. When I was growing up there seemed to be a widely held idea that the ultimate goal was to achieve orgasm at the same moment as your partner. It was even discussed in a book we had at school called "Everything you always wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask." Once I got into a relationship, I realised that not only was this quite difficult to do, but also, it actually wasn't that great even when you managed it. Later, in my relationship with the woman I called the Lioness in my early days writing this blog, (a relationship full of the best kind of sex it is possible for me even to imagine,) I worked out that with her anyway, it was simply not as good as having orgasms at separate moments. The Lioness was perhaps a little unusual, in that she definitely got off on me coming, and contrary to the idea that a woman should always come first, she often liked to make me come before she did, using my orgasm to bring on hers. It worked the other way round too, and often resulted in one of us coming twice, or more. I loved it, whichever way round it happened. We were so good together we could usually manage to come at the same time if we wanted to. But once we trusted each other to give, and take what we needed, we found it was more pleasurable to be able to concentrate on our own feelings at the key moments and not be distracted by the other. I loved being able to concentrate on her face, her movements and sounds when she was coming, rather than being lost in my own orgasm at the same time. I know she felt this way too. So I have a theory that the reputation of the simultaneous orgasm is heavily exaggerated. But of course that is only my own experience. I have a theory about scones too. I mean, cream is a milk product, like butter. Well if you didn't have any cream, you wouldn't put jam on the scone first and then butter it would you? No, it would be the other way round. So I like to have the cream first every time. On the other hand, you could just eat your cream tea whatever way the hell you like, and it is nobody's business but your own. A bit like sex really I suppose. |
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Repeated in case of the dreaded missing word glitch: There is a traditional argument in Devon and Cornwall (where I have just been for a week) as to whether you should spread the jam or the cream on a scone first. Some people get quite worked up about it. It made me think about simultaneous orgasms. When I was growing up there seemed to be a widely held idea that the ultimate goal was to achieve orgasm at the same moment as your partner. It was even discussed in a book we had at school called "Everything you always wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask." Once I got into a relationship, I realised that not only was this quite difficult to do, but also, it actually wasn't that great even when you managed it. Later, in my relationship with the woman I called the Lioness in my early days writing this blog, (a relationship full of the best kind of sex it is possible for me even to imagine,) I worked out that with her anyway, it was simply not as good as having orgasms at separate moments. The Lioness was perhaps a little unusual, in that she definitely got off on me coming, and contrary to the idea that a woman should always come first, she often liked to make me come before she did, using my orgasm to bring on hers. It worked the other way round too, and often resulted in one of us coming twice, or more. I loved it, whichever way round it happened. We were so good together we could usually manage to come at the same time if we wanted to. But once we trusted each other to give, and take what we needed, we found it was more pleasurable to be able to concentrate on our own feelings at the key moments and not be distracted by the other. I loved being able to concentrate on her face, her movements and sounds when she was coming, rather than being lost in my own orgasm at the same time. I know she felt this way too. So I have a theory that the reputation of the simultaneous orgasm is heavily exaggerated. But of course that is only my own experience. I have a theory about scones too. I mean, cream is a milk product, like butter. Well if you didn't have any cream, you wouldn't put jam on the scone first and then butter it would you? No, it would be the other way round. So I like to have the cream first every time. On the other hand, you could just eat your cream tea whatever way the hell you like, and it is nobody's business but your own. A bit like sex really I suppose.
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Now I want to know what scones with cream and jam tastes like!!!  And what goes on first, would depend on which one has a more spreadable texture -- so -- the smoother one should go on first and the lumpy one second. If they both spread evenly, the fattier one should go on first because it'll stick better to the texture of the scone and it won't stick to jam at all, so if you spread the jam first, you'll never be able to get the butter off the knife onto the scone! Now, to translate that into orgasms -- let's see --  can orgasms be described as lumpy or smooth or fatty??? i guess this would be one of those things that gets lost in translation! lol  --Author Unknown
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Yesss! V has it right. It is the texture... Jelly second for shore... And yes... To connect too orgasms... I do think the male and female orgasm differ. To me... The female orgasm is like a vast sky structure that I give over myself to, (like skydiving in an upside down sky), seeking to be embraced, and when embraced, interacts with my heart-soul-mind, engaging in mutual forms of creation, as this sky extracts whatever was beautiful in me and creates unheard of beauties, like supernatural notes from otherworldly instruments, supernatural brush strokes from supernatural paint brushes, supernatural letters from supernatural keyboards... (What were we talking about again?)  *. *. *
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Yesss! V has it right. It is the texture... Jelly second for shore... And yes... To connect too orgasms... I do think the male and female orgasm differ. To me... The female orgasm is like a vast sky structure that I give over myself to, (like skydiving in an upside down sky), seeking to be embraced, and when embraced, interacts with my heart-soul-mind, engaging in mutual forms of creation, as this sky extracts whatever was beautiful in me and creates unheard of beauties, like supernatural notes from otherworldly instruments, supernatural brush strokes from supernatural paint brushes, supernatural letters from supernatural keyboards... (What were we talking about again?)
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Now I want to know what scones with cream and jam tastes like!!! And what goes on first, would depend on which one has a more spreadable texture -- so -- the smoother one should go on first and the lumpy one second. If they both spread evenly, the fattier one should go on first because it'll stick better to the texture of the scone and it won't stick to jam at all, so if you spread the jam first, you'll never be able to get the butter off the knife onto the scone! Now, to translate that into orgasms -- let's see -- can orgasms be described as lumpy or smooth or fatty??? i guess this would be one of those things that gets lost in translation! lol
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ad hominem fallacy. *. *. *
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Ah well ye see, McDream, it's all about consistency......the firmer, more dense substance has to be spread first, otherwise it will just go skitin' across the scone and land on the plate, or worse...... So, butter and jam (a crime against humanity if you ask me), butter comes first. Cream and jam, if it's soft cream, then the jam comes first. Some clotted creams can be quite firm, so there's a case in that situation for the cream to go first. It's all about adaptability!! But, but, but.......surely the bigger question is how to pronounce scone? Is it skawn, skoan or scoon (as in the stone of scone)??
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Ah well ye see, McDream, it's all about consistency......the firmer, more dense substance has to be spread first, otherwise it will just go skitin' across the scone and land on the plate, or worse...... So, butter and jam (a crime against humanity if you ask me), butter comes first. Cream and jam, if it's soft cream, then the jam comes first. Some clotted creams can be quite firm, so there's a case in that situation for the cream to go first. It's all about adaptability!! But, but, but.......surely the bigger question is how to pronounce scone? Is it skawn, skoan or scoon (as in the stone of scone)?? Pronunciation: None of the above - in my albeit southern opinion the word is pronounced "SKON." But of course, variation due to regional accent is perfectly acceptable! In your accent, I suspect "Skon" would sound to me as if it were written "Skawn" !
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You guys are grossing me out with your 'runny cream' and 'clotted cream.'  amp;I don't even know what kind of cream it is, as I refer to the half and half I put in my coffee as cream. I pronounce scone as rhyming with stone, but what the heck do I know; I'm American. Elevate me... 
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You guys are grossing me out with your 'runny cream' and 'clotted cream.' amp;I don't even know what kind of cream it is, as I refer to the half and half I put in my coffee as cream. I pronounce scone as rhyming with stone, but what the heck do I know; I'm American. In fact I think a true English scone is called something else is the US (that's if you even have them.) They are truly delicious by the way - a sort of small bready cake, a bit like a muffin, only not. There is absolutely no need to be grossed out by clotted cream! Not at all the same thing as you put ion coffee. It is just really thick spreadable cream. Wonderful stuff. Probably not very good for you. Definitely, not probably!
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