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No me puedo creer que seas amiga con una muchacha desagradable como Maya
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No me puedo creer que seas amiga con una muchacha desagradable como Maya The New York Toy Fair is going on right now and one thing that announced was lucha versions of DC heroes and villains . I mean a lucha Batman ? Are they reading my god damn mind ?!?! But before I could order 20 of them a part of my brain that's gaining more and more power as the years go by said "Yeah it's cool , but who cares ? Do you need MORE comic book/Star Wars/Star Trek/Firefly/mad Max/wrestling/roleplaying/whatever stuff laying around ? So you buy the Lucha Batman (and lucha Cheetah) and it then sits on a shelf with all your other crap ? How is that better than NOT buying it ?" Which is a fair point . I don't need more crap gathering dust no matter how cool it is . I mean I already have 5 Harly Quinn statuettes - I think I've made my point (that point being I should never see a vagina IRL ) . My point is the upcoming series of DC heroes and villains as post-apocalyptic scavengers looks AMAZING . One time there was this movie called the 40 Year Old Virgin . You've probably never heard of it . There was an ensemble cast that never really did anything else you'd have heard of either . In this movie the titular Virgin has a substantial collection of action figures and toys and the like . At the climax of the movie he marries the hypnotist from Get Out and in order to pay a shit-ton of money on an lavish wedding he sells all (or most , it's unclear) of his collection and accumulates said shit-ton of money . At this lavish wedding the guy from Unsupervised says to his wife that they need to "buy some toys" . At first I was like "that's a dumb thing to say" because the toys were valuable because they were old and rare , you can't go buy a Harry Potter figure now and expect it to be worth anything . But then I realized that he meant for their - because by the time they were his age they might be worth something . If I had invested all my bean walking money in zinc in 1986 I would be rich now . Instead I bought Transformers like a fucking moron . Even if they were in their original packaging they'd only be worth about $18,000 now . And I was even stupider because I played with them , thereby making them worthless . Stupid young me , I hate that guy . If I had a time machine I'd go back and punch that little ratfaced loser in the stomach . And then buy a bunch of zinc and bury it somewhere I could find it now . Probably on my grandma's farm I guess . She wouldn't recognize future me back then though so I might get shot at . I suppose I'd have to bury it at night . Ugh , night burying am I right ? One time there was this movie called the Toy . The premise is that there's this rich who's a super-mega-ultra asshole so his father does the only thing he can do - buys him more shit . While they're at the store at night so they don't have to be around gross poor people he sees Richard Pryor playing with some kind of human hamster ball and he says "I want that" . And after some comedic confusion they understand that he means Richard Prior not the human hamster ball . And the dad is rich so he makes it happen . At the time people were like "whoa , that is NOT cool , that's like slavery" but the didn't literally buy Richard Pryor , he just used his money to humiliate and degrade someone who had no choice because they didn't have any money . Who happened to be non-white . And Richard Prior is the one who made the movie so . . . dunno ? It's a fun<b> lesson </font></b>about capitalism though . I for one welcome our corporate masters and remind them often of my loyalty . My uncle who passed away recently used to like to tell the story of how one time he and his buddy Jim-Jam came over to my parents house when I was a and I had all my Star Wars guy set up in an elaborate battle scene/tableau . So they started playing with all my cool shit and I was HORRIFIED . I remember the first time I went over to my friend Rickroll's house when I was a and I was SHOCKED and APPALLED that he had all his different toys in a big heap . GI Joes were touching Thundercats and Gobots were touching Sec-Tars it was anarchy . I've never had a panic attack but that was pretty close . GI Joes (the little ones not the old timey 12 inchers) had little holes in their feet so you could put them on little pegs on the vehicles and they'd stay on . But a little known fact was that you could also buy little shims with pegs on them so you could set them up in various action scenes - as I did often . One time I carelessly tried to remove one of them and the peg snapped off in the Joe's foot-hole . Tragedy . Clearly I had to buy a new one . I was more careful about it after that but my sisters saw how much this upset me so they would break the pegs off in the Joe foot-holes if I wasn't around to protect them . So I took to hiding them . Which wasn't as much fun as playing with them but at least they were safe . The coolest toy I ever had was a Godzilla figure that was a good 2 feet high and had a little toggle that would make him "breath fire" . It was awesome even though having it is how I learned I am TERRIBLE at crafts because I tried to make a scale-city for him to terrorize . One time my sister was having her girl scout troupe over and for reasons I can't remember and can't even come up with a theory on now they were going to have their meeting in my room . I was banished to go bike riding with my dad . I was fretting the whole time . I had hidden Godzilla in the closet under a bunch of coats but would it be enough ? Of course it wasn't . When I got home not only did they break off Godzilla's head to add insult to injury they also broke the toggle and the "fire" stream . The second coolest toy I ever had was a resin cast shark that I got on vacation in Texas . So of course on the last day of our vacation my sister threw it in the ocean . I don't think I ever cried that much ever before or since . My parents had to drag me out of the water as I searched frantically for it . You're probably thinking "dude you care too much about stuff , you need to be Zen man" . To which I say fuck you you poser . Some people have asked me if I wrecked my sisters stuff to get revenge which I did not for two reasons . One they were animals who ruined all their own stuff anyway . The state of their Barbies was deplorable . And two that wold have done no good anyway . No matter how many Strawberry Shortcakes I would have burned in the firepit that was never going to bring back Zap (the two handed bazooka version) . I had the telescoping lightsaber Darth Vader (now worth 30 grand) , I had the vinyl cape Jawa (20 grand) , I had the Emperor with the walking stick and the Yoda with the cloth cape (both 10 grand) . Remember how awful the ECW wrestling action figures were ? I do . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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You have waaaay better toys than me! I only have 2 vibrators and Baby Groot bobblehead. Can I come over and play with your stuff? What if I promise to dust the shelves? Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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[post 351486]
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Now who was just telling me that buying stuff is what makes America great? You buy those lucha toys. And keep them away from your horrible sisters.  
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Nobody collects things anymore, destroying the market for any investment ideas. I found some coins in my parent's basement, like REALLY old (circa 1900). I wouldn't say they were worthless, but they didn't have collectable value. They had actual silver in them that earned me a couple of bucks, but no additional value to a collector. They weren't anywhere near mint condition. There are tons of stories out there of people who paid for their kid's college by selling a few comic books. But those people sold at peak value. Today, that same collection isn't worth anything. I haven't even heard of anyone collecting baseball cards anymore. The toy market hung on longer than other collectables, but things are trending in the wrong direction. I have way more respect for the guy who has one item of actual value than the guy who has an entire basement of marginally collectable stuff. One item is a show piece and shows sophistication, a basement's worth of crap is a hoarder and shows mental imbalance.
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