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You can't fight evil on an empty stomach
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You can't fight evil on an empty stomach How much time do you think elapsed after the invention of the telephone before someone held a banana up to their ear and pretended it was a phone ? Or because bananas are so perishable were they not even common when the telephone was invented ? Did bananas come later ? If so I assume the first shipment of bananas someone grabbed one and did the phone thing . Did you think the song Mellow Yellow was about drugs ? I did . But it's not . It's about vibrators and the mellow feeling women get after masturbating . According to The Rolling Stone Illustrated Encyclopedia of Rock and Roll, Donovan admitted the song made reference to a vibrator ; an "electrical banana" as mentioned in the lyrics . This definition was re-affirmed in an interview with NME magazine: "it's about the electrical bananas that were appearing on the scene - which were ladies' vibrators." I've never seen a yellow vibrator , gold sure , but not yellow . Doesn't seem like it would be a popular vibrator color . Anyway please stop saying vibrator and start saying instead "electrical banana" . Thanks .  There was a story in the news recently about a fellow in China who went to the hospital because he got his dick stuck in a socket wrench . There's a couple interesting things about this story - one is that they said it was unknown how his got his dick stuck in the wrench . I can solve that mystery right now - the dude was fucking a wrench . Case closed . Which in and of itself is not very surprising because dude's will fuck anything - they're monsters . The most interesting thing to me is that the doctors wanted to do surgery to release the blood pressure so the wrench could come off the dick but they couldn't because they couldn't reach the guy's parents to get consent . And he was 37 years old . How old do you have to be to consent to surgery in China ? 40 ? 50 ? What the heck ? If you're old enough to fuck a wrench you're old enough to have surgery if you ask me . Since they couldn't do the operation they called the fire department who brought in an ANGLE GRINDER to get it off . The doctor's wouldn't let them though NOT because it would slice the dude's dick off but because they thought it would get too hot ? Da fuck ? So more doctors came in - there's pictures of this dude sitting there with his dick-wrench and like 20 people standing around him - and one of them was like "oh yeah , I've seen this before ( ! ) we need a dentist" . So two dentists came and used one of their tiny drills to crack the wrench - somehow without drilling into the dude's dick . I don't know if there's enough morphine in the world to allow me to let someone came at my junk with an angle grinder . Did you know that if a man looks you in the eye he thinks you're ugly ? The internet told me so today . If a man think you're hot he looks at your tits or ass ONLY . This is science . Because the internet said so . This is one of those dumb things you read online that makes you sad . So just remember that the next time a guy makes eye contact with you he hates you . Speaking of I was chatting with Betsy B the other day and she mentioned an article she read written by a dude who transition from being a lady and specifically about how once she started pumping himself with testosterone he had the powerful urge to check out the ladies - and he had to constantly mentally remind himself not to . Which makes me wonder - is checking out women wrong ? Clearly this person thought so . Like I understand that leering at a woman and making her uncomfortable is wrong - but if you check someone out without lingering is that wrong ? Because I do it ALL the time . The trans fellow mentioned seeing a hot ass and following the owner of said ass around for a while which I have never done BUT that is something I've heard some guys talk about . Which seems pretty<b> creepy . </font></b>I'm supposed to be working on a project right now but I cannot concentrate on it - which isn't like me , I'm not normally a procrastinator at all . As you all know I hate the English language - it's a real mess . I don't know if there's a better language because I don't know any other languages but I have faith that there must be . In the book 1984 I remember they're being a dude who's job it was to get rid of words to simplify the language . This was supposed to be a bad thing and a sign of the lack of freedom in this police state world but I think it's a good idea . I mean why do we need both the word rock and the word stone ? And pebble , that's just a little rock , why do we need a word for that ? There's too many words we should get rid of about 66% of them . I don't care what you say Orwell those men were heroes . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Oldthinkers unbellyfeel Ingsoc Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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I can't get past the thought of a dick so small that it will fit in a socket wrench. Was there anything else in this post that I should've paid attention to? Oops! To which I should have paid attention? Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Funny aside, today in one of my Fetlife groups a guy made a post asking whether women check out guys' "bulges". About 30 women replied and the universal answer was NO. Not enough testosterone I guess. The only time I remember checking out a bulge was this guy in my bike club. Because it was pretty dang pronounced in those spandex bike shorts. Also we were at dinner after a ride, I was sitting down and he was standing nearby - so the display was at eye level. I'm not sure what it says about me that I remember this like 15 years later...   
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Pretty funny post for the most part. It's not just the words, it's the grammar.You ought to try learning Greek and it will all be Greek to you- it was to me.As for eyeballing "junk" rarely (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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was he trying to measure it's girth and why use a socket wrench? yet another reason I will never truly comprehend the male mind. and checking out the ladies is one of the joys of springtime, eh? ladies do it, so why not men, just be polite about it. I check out men's asses all the time. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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